I know. I'm a lazy sack of shit and dreaming real hard, but there doesn't exist a job that I would enjoy long-term, and there never will exist any such job. I like my co-workers in my shitty retail job, and I love producing, mixing and mastering music, as well as composing, but if I were reliant on it, I'd start to hate that too.
I always wished I was born rich so I could spend my life making music or videogames. I think that's why I respect people who do. It's such a shitty life decision and I wish it didn't have to be that way.
I wish every other conversation at my work wasn't a political landmine.
Or that you could still reasonably disagree with someone and not be demonized. What the fuck happened to that? Maybe it never perfectly existed, but it was surely a lot better.
Every time I think I've settled into a stable job that I don't hate, there comes a point where work slows down and suddenly I have to justify my job. Work culture in this country is so fucked. As soon as there's downtime, workers have to worry about job security and morale goes down the shitter. It's a cycle I feel I can't escape.
Try working for the state. I audit my state now and there's plenty of people who don't even really do their jobs and they still get paid.