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Depression And Other Social Issues


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#1 JKT

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 07:52 PM

I don't know if I've become severely depressed or just hate society in general, but I seem to have withdrawn myself from pretty much everyone and everything. I'm liking my roommates less and less because they constantly bring people over and I'm expected to be courteous and civil to them while they help themselves to my space and sometimes food. I generally try to strike up a conversation and give them the benefit of the doubt, but it doesn't last and soon I just lose the will to put forth the effort. I constantly question whether people are being genuinely nice or just trying to satisfy their own needs/lift their status (ie: being nice gives them self-assurance). It creates awkward moments and people don't know how to act around me, and I basically shake it off. It's like I don't experience emotions the way other people do or something.

I would probably get some help, except there are certain areas (such as work and home) where I have no trouble socializing with nearly everyone and feel totally relaxed. Also, I don't relish the idea of suddenly becoming this new person when I pop a few zoloft etc . I generally just stay around the house playing guitar, watching movies and gaming. I have a pretty close-knit group of friends who I hang out with from time to time, but no one nearby that I can connect on any meaningful level with. It's probably not a healthy lifestyle, but if I don't have any real motivation to change I don't see a reason to torture myself by pretending to be something I'm not. The funny thing is, I keep it in the back of my mind that I wish someone would just come to my door and say "Man, what is wrong with you? Why are you such a dick to people and push everyone who tries to get close to you away?" so I would snap out of it. So hard to describe these contradictory feelings, but that basically sums it up.

Figured I can't be the only one in a state of near-total apathy and there might as well be a thread about it.

:rolleyes: :lol: ;) :blink: :(
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#2 Kirk

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 08:08 PM

I have depression and other social issues.

But that's just because I'm fat. I'm going to fix that... again.
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#3 Ranger-X

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 08:12 PM

I don't know if I've become severely depressed or just hate society in general, but I seem to have withdrawn myself from pretty much everyone and everything. I'm liking my roommates less and less because they constantly bring people over and I'm expected to be courteous and civil to them while they help themselves to my space and sometimes food. I generally try to strike up a conversation and give them the benefit of the doubt, but it doesn't last and soon I just lose the will to put forth the effort. I constantly question whether people are being genuinely nice or just trying to satisfy their own needs/lift their status (ie: being nice gives them self-assurance). It creates awkward moments and people don't know how to act around me, and I basically shake it off. It's like I don't experience emotions the way other people do or something.

I would probably get some help, except there are certain areas (such as work and home) where I have no trouble socializing with nearly everyone and feel totally relaxed. Also, I don't relish the idea of suddenly becoming this new person when I pop a few zoloft etc . I generally just stay around the house playing guitar, watching movies and gaming. I have a pretty close-knit group of friends who I hang out with from time to time, but no one nearby that I can connect on any meaningful level with. It's probably not a healthy lifestyle, but if I don't have any real motivation to change I don't see a reason to torture myself by pretending to be something I'm not. The funny thing is, I keep it in the back of my mind that I wish someone would just come to my door and say "Man, what is wrong with you? Why are you such a dick to people and push everyone who tries to get close to you away?" so I would snap out of it. So hard to describe these contradictory feelings, but that basically sums it up.

Figured I can't be the only one in a state of near-total apathy and there might as well be a thread about it.

:rolleyes: :lol: ;) :blink: :(

I know exactly how that feels. Lately I've been so fed up with my job, and various other things going on in life, and it's really affecting me. I do things I wouldn't otherwise do, such as not think straight and say stupid things, argue with people a lot, and display a lack of confidence in myself. What helps me the most is to hang out with people, or if I can't, then at least talk to someone, about anything. You're right, it's hard to muster the will to do that sometimes...but even if I don't feel like it, if I do it then I feel better after. Also, exercising more, and getting lots of sleep, helps quite a bit. If you are thinking that there's even a slight chance that you might need depression medication, see a doctor, or maybe even two or three (for multiple opinions). Seriously. They'll be able to tell you if they think you have a chemical imbalance and need the medication, or if it's just a product of your lifestyle. Also, depression meds don't make you a different person right away...it's a gradual change, or so I've heard. Never been on them myself. Let me ask you this: would you say that you're unhappy with your life?
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#4 mooniniteG

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 08:13 PM

While we're on the subject, generally exercising more and eating healthier can be a good boost to your mental health. If you don't already, try getting in 30 minutes of exercise 3 times a week and cutting back on junk & fast food (if you consume much to begin with). I don't promise that it'll solve your problems, but it certainly won't make them any worse either. :)
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#5 Paragon

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 08:24 PM

I don't know if I've become severely depressed or just hate society in general, but I seem to have withdrawn myself from pretty much everyone and everything. I'm liking my roommates less and less because they constantly bring people over and I'm expected to be courteous and civil to them while they help themselves to my space and sometimes food. I generally try to strike up a conversation and give them the benefit of the doubt, but it doesn't last and soon I just lose the will to put forth the effort. I constantly question whether people are being genuinely nice or just trying to satisfy their own needs/lift their status (ie: being nice gives them self-assurance). It creates awkward moments and people don't know how to act around me, and I basically shake it off. It's like I don't experience emotions the way other people do or something.


I have to ask: what do you expect out of people? What do you think their motives should be for acting nice and/or what qualifies as a "genuinely" nice motive?

I think the niceness you describe from people is basically the same as what you said you do at first: people give others the benefit of the doubt. It's selfish, yes, but not dishonest or bad. After all, what's the alternative? Be a dick until the other person is nice to you? Then everybody would be dicks and we'd all be pissed off all the time.

I would probably get some help, except there are certain areas (such as work and home) where I have no trouble socializing with nearly everyone and feel totally relaxed. Also, I don't relish the idea of suddenly becoming this new person when I pop a few zoloft etc .

Meds like zoloft should be a last resort IMO, but some sort of counseling or therapy wouldn't make you a suddenly new person. After all, this depression is something kinda new, right? So you'd just be going back to before you were depressed. And even if the un-depressed you was completely new, you already clearly want to not be the depressed you anyway. I'm not saying you necessarily need counseling BTW, just noting.

I generally just stay around the house playing guitar, watching movies and gaming. I have a pretty close-knit group of friends who I hang out with from time to time, but no one nearby that I can connect on any meaningful level with. It's probably not a healthy lifestyle, but if I don't have any real motivation to change I don't see a reason to torture myself by pretending to be something I'm not. The funny thing is, I keep it in the back of my mind that I wish someone would just come to my door and say "Man, what is wrong with you? Why are you such a dick to people and push everyone who tries to get close to you away?" so I would snap out of it. So hard to describe these contradictory feelings, but that basically sums it up.


One of the problems with depression is that it causes withdrawl like you've described, and the withdrawl reinforces the depression (and itself). Maybe you could try finding a new hobby or a new place to hang out? Hit the gym, go to a coffee house, something like that.
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#6 pingosimon

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 08:27 PM

Most of my problems stem from Girls! but there's a thread for that.

Aside form that, I've been feeling a bit anxious about my future. I'm 22 and have always lived with my parents and gone to school. I've always work small jobs (sales, lessons, gigs). Pretty soon I'll be done with school for good, and I'll need to pay for everything myself.
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#7 JKT

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 08:41 PM

These posts are going to get enormous if people keep quoting so I'll do my best to keep this straight. Thanks for actually reading the thing and trying to offer your solutions.

Moonniteg/rangerx: Some extra exercise and better diet certainly couldn't hurt. I've been nourishing my intellectual side pretty well, but probably ignored some physical maintenance along the way. Although I'm pretty satisfied with who I am, no I'm not particularly happy with my life.
I could DEFINITELY see the difference when my friend was on his meds and when he wasn't. He eventually stopped taking them because he felt this weird out-of-body experience when it started affecting him. Sounds pretty shady, and I'd rather try a drug-free approach.

Paragon: I might very well have unreasonable expectations of people, but I can't be wrong all of the time. For instance, this guy who is a typical jock comes over to my place pretty often and we don't say much more than "sup." Then one time, he brings over this fairly attractive girl and his usual makeout buddy and says "hey James, I brought another girl over for you".
Seems like a pretty shitty thing to do because:

1)it hints at the fact that I don't regularly hang out with girls
2)makes it seem that the only way I can get one is by him pimping one out to me
3)I don't know if he's being serious and I really don't feel like shooting the breeze when he introduces us that way

Then he comes over a few more times and I don't see the girl again. This makes me think that maybe he really was trying to set me up and the guy just has no tact. Maybe it was his way of trying to be nice and I just picked him apart?

Also, just wanna say that this thread is not supposed to be about me. I pretty much bore all so that other people wouldn't be shy about sharing their feelings. It's hard to talk about but I essentially embarrassed the hell out of myself here so I doubt anyone could justify feeling afraid to share their story.
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#8 Eric Dude

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 08:46 PM

Big news comin' on a JKT thread!

Man, I remember when I was more like that... Goddamn, I am lucky some motherfucker didn't come slap the shit outta me. Yeah, that's all I have to add.
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#9 XMark

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 09:12 PM

My main source of depression lately has been a completely inability to push the thought of my own mortality out of my head for any reasonable length of time. I've had freakouts about death before, as anyone has, but for the past few months it's become an all-consuming thought that just digs in and won't let go. I've been a full-blown atheist for about a year (and various stages of agnostic for a long time leading up to that), but it was only recently that the whole "holy shit, I'm going to fucking die" part of it really hit me.

I've been obsessively researching everything from cosmology to particle physics and quantum theory to find any shred of scientific evidence that in any small way backs up the idea of consciousness continuing after death, or support for the theory of a shared universal consciousness, or a reasonable model of a cyclical universe that might put me back together one big crunch and one big bang later. But all that my research did was make me freak out even more. Worrying that my life might not have any meaning was one thing, knowing it as an absolute certainty was another thing.

All I'm finding is an unimaginably giant and unforgiving universe that doesn't give a shit about anything in my life or anyone else's. I keep thinking about how the sun is going to expand into a red giant 5-7 billion years from now and cook the earth, then collapse into a white dwarf and slowly flicker into nothingness, and how every single star in the sky is going to either go supernova or burn itself out like the sun, and every piece of matter, even supermassive black holes, will eventually dissipate into photons zipping around meaninglessly through empty space.

Thoughts like this aren't really hitting me with the extreme force they were a while ago. I guess it's like when someone is diagnosed with a terminal disease they go through stages, and I think I'm at acceptance now, though it's a sad and resigned acceptance. I'm just hoping that I can snap myself out of this nihilistic depressive phase and actually enjoy the probably 60 years I have left instead of wasting it worrying about what happens afterwards. Maybe death is the end, but I shouldn't let it take living time away from me too.

BTW, I'd like to thank Jadbgjoka for helping me out during the worst part of my existential crisis. It really helped me out a lot. Seriously.
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#10 Spookmeister C

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 10:31 PM

It's like I took a time warp back to college in here.
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#11 Josiah Tobin

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 10:33 PM

XMark: Man, that's some pretty heavy stuff to be worried about. :( I had a similar thing a few years ago, except it was more paranoia about not leaving any kind of mark once I die. I got over that pretty quick though and now I don't have a problem putting that stuff out of my mind-- I really wouldn't recommend looking up all that stuff about quantum theory, cosmology, etc. though... usually reading that kinda thing just makes me think too much about the big picture, which (I find, personally) can destabilize you pretty quick if you ponder it too much.

Was there anything that triggered all that in the first place, or did it just blindside you one morning?

~Josiah
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#12 Valence

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 11:00 PM

I will attest that meds dont change you overnight. Sometimes it can take months to take slight effect. It also works the other way around. Once you are off the meds, it can take about a month or so for the meds to get out of your system. I've been on a shit ton of meds. I've been off of them for a while now. Dont know if thats a good thing or bad thing yet.
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#13 Pongball

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 11:05 PM

XMark: I saw this quote on someone's facebook page. I don't know where it's from (Google suggests Xenosaga), but I think it makes the concept of death seem more comforting.

"Death is rest for the soul... If the body refused to die, and the fears borne in the mind continued to pile up, the world would be nothing more than an eternal prison."
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#14 Nario

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 11:13 PM

XMark: I saw this quote on someone's facebook page. I don't know where it's from (Google suggests Xenosaga), but I think it makes the concept of death seem more comforting.

"Death is rest for the soul... If the body refused to die, and the fears borne in the mind continued to pile up, the world would be nothing more than an eternal prison."

Xenosaga? How did Google get that quote out of it?

Nonetheless, it's an interesting way of looking at death. Just as sleep gives people some time to rest and relax from the problems of the world, so does death. The only difference is that sleep is temporary and death is eternal, unless reincarnation is real.


I usually get stressed over the amount of homework, or the principle of having to do homework, assigned from college. Five page papers are always being assigned and it's just cutting away from my time to chat online, play video games, and make music. Seriously, I just want this nonsense to stop!!!
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#15 SenJ

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 11:31 PM

Hi, my name is Senj, and I've been finding it hard to give a fuck about too much lately. I've got a pretty awesome life to be honest. But highschool has really fucked with me the past year or two. I'm almost done with it, and I'm hoping that will help to alleviate some of this.

JKT, from my experience with meds, it's nothing like your friend experienced, although everyone will react differently to them, and it also depends on what they're taking etc. For the most part though they just block serotonin so you feel less anxious/sad/ what have you.

Getting outside more might help too, even if it's just walking around somewhere by yourself, just to get out and not feel as shut in helps me every now and a gain.
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