homies, I'm so sorry to hear all of this. Jace, I agree with Maiko that mourning is a strange thing and everyone handles that differently when sudden tragedies occur. After my Dad died, I had to keep telling myself that there are many different ways to mourn and none of them are wrong. Just be true to your emotions, let them come when they will and don't be ashamed of them. They ebb and they flow and sometimes that is the hardest part about grief. But just take it one step at a time and always know you can reach out when you need to.
Maiko, I agree with all the things you said. with the taboo depression or other mental health issues have had, it makes it really difficult to express that you're having a hard time. and I feel like most people I know (myself included) had that manifest in ways of never letting it show at the risk of making a loved one worry or upset. I feel like that's why there's so many cases of people being shocked to hear someone suffered from depression when it's too late. And that's why talking about it (even though it's difficult) can be so important. Getting therapy (which was a nightmare process to set up and an expensive bi-monthly occurrence) was one of the greatest things I did in my life. I was very lucky to find a therapist who was able to help.
Serena, I'm so so sorry to hear about all that you're going through. But I want to repeat 1000x what others have said. We hope things get better ASAP and start looking up, but we'll all be here in the mean time if you need anything. Life is a constant kick in the teeth and it can be really grim and bleak for a really long time but it's so important to not give up. It's not easy but it's so important. If there's anything I can do to help you through the rough patch you're in, please let me know.
Much love to everyone. The Shizz has been and remains one of the greatest things to ever enter my life. That was made even more apparent this MAG where I brought two non-shizzies and they were instantly welcomed and they kept constantly telling me how nice and awesome and friendly and great my friends are. I'm truly blessed to be able to call myself a shizzie. I think the worst of my most recent depressive episode is finally on the down slope and I feel like my anxiety isn't so crushing that all types of communication and interaction seem overwhelming. So I'm hoping I can be more active on here again. It's been too long.