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Depression And Other Social Issues

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#4426 Paragon


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Posted 14 September 2018 - 07:18 AM

A little while back I read a post on tumblr that talked about executive dysfunction (a problem seen in ADD, autism, and arguably depression and anxiety) in terms of being "stuck" on something, and how to get unstuck.  Maybe it was the phrasing and terminology, maybe it's something to do with my mindset, I don't know.  But I tried it out and it kinda works.


Last night I told my therapist (who I haven't seen in months) about it, and he was like "Yeah, that's called CBT."


i learned about that shit in college 15 years ago and i didn't actually start to "get" it until now, lol.  (To be fair, my first therapist tried to do what I know recognize is CBT, but she was aggressive and abrasive and I was stubborn as hell)


So now I'm gonna use this new enhanced brain genious power on other stuff, like drinking (which I kinda started doing again, not as bad as before, but I know I'm better off abstaining).


So yeah, optimism +1.

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#4427 mig50


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Posted 14 September 2018 - 11:33 PM

a couple weeks ago i received word that my grandmother had fallen in the night and fractured her hip.  this is a fairly common occurrence for elderly people, so it wasn't hugely shocking or worrying, but i started feeling a sense of dread when i found out my grandmother only weighed 78 lbs.


it seemed like things were going okay - she made it through surgery and was moved to a rehab facility, but then last saturday i found out she was back in the hospital with pneumonia & an infection.  knowing her fragile state, i did not have high hopes she would make it through this.


she went to hospice on tuesday, and now its just the waiting game until she dies.


i haven't had any real big sadness or depressive type states over this, but it has been affecting me in weird ways.  i've gone through periods of complete numbness, i've had periods where i've just lost track of time for a couple hours, i will feel mostly fine for most of the day then suddenly feel completely weighed down & exhausted, etc.


there are some additional things that are going to be related to her inevitable death that are going to be very awkward & difficult to me to deal with personally.  i'll get through it all, but its definitely going to be some trying times ahead.


i was already starting to dip into some bad feelings / bad brain zone times in general, so this on top has made me real oddly erratic & numb & not great.  i'm definitely outside of any kind of good rhythm - i'm not exercising, i'm drinking too much, i'm not working on anything i want to be working on (big time lack of focus / motivation), and i'm sleeping even worse than normal.  pretty much par for the course when death is involved, so i'm not beating myself up about it, but i'm looking forward to shaking all of this off and getting back to my regular self.

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you mean you forgot cranberries too?

#4428 Daemon9623


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Posted 15 September 2018 - 12:52 AM

Man, I feel you on that. I recently spent the evening with my grandmother and aunt, went over and made them dinner and we watched one of her favorite movies after (Random Harvest). When I stopped talking to my family for several years the two of them were the only ones I kept in contact with and it became tradition that we'd do holidays with them, which was really important for me, in hindsight. The dinner was a nice thing to get to do, but afterwards, when I got home, I felt this overwhelming feeling at the fact that that's a memory I'll have to hang onto. She's frail and quite old and I'm really worried about what losing her will do to me. We've always been pretty close (she bonded with me very strongly when I was a baby, apparently) and when I separated from my ex-wife and was going through my divorce I lived with her for about two months, through some of the worst of it for sure. She was a real pillar of strength for me during that time and even this same night of dinner did so again.* I was out driving to make some earnings and I was listening to my uncle's Irish folk band. Her favorite song he sings came on and I had to pull over in a parking lot because I just wanted to break down just thinking about her. I love her dearly and can't believe she's put up with so much, particularly my aunt, her youngest daughter, fighting cancer for, like, the fourth time and soldiering on. Too many times I get busy and caught up in my own bullshit and I don't talk to them enough, don't see them for months and when I do I really enjoy it, but I feel like an awful grandson, ungrateful for everything she, they, have done for me. It's heavy shit and I get really anxious about it all. So, Mig, I'm really sorry to hear about that. +1'd for solidarity.

In other news...


Dump over, I guess? I don't know, just kinda went stream of consciousness. Feels a bit better, thanks.

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#4429 Maiko


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Posted 19 September 2018 - 05:06 AM



depressed but not dead



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Chop is exceptionally cute 



#4430 KarlGerm



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Posted 19 September 2018 - 01:44 PM



depressed but not dead




this mantra is tattoo worthy

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