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Depression And Other Social Issues


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#4426 Paragon

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Posted 14 September 2018 - 07:18 AM

A little while back I read a post on tumblr that talked about executive dysfunction (a problem seen in ADD, autism, and arguably depression and anxiety) in terms of being "stuck" on something, and how to get unstuck.  Maybe it was the phrasing and terminology, maybe it's something to do with my mindset, I don't know.  But I tried it out and it kinda works.

 

Last night I told my therapist (who I haven't seen in months) about it, and he was like "Yeah, that's called CBT."

 

i learned about that shit in college 15 years ago and i didn't actually start to "get" it until now, lol.  (To be fair, my first therapist tried to do what I know recognize is CBT, but she was aggressive and abrasive and I was stubborn as hell)

 

So now I'm gonna use this new enhanced brain genious power on other stuff, like drinking (which I kinda started doing again, not as bad as before, but I know I'm better off abstaining).

 

So yeah, optimism +1.


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#4427 mig50

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Posted 14 September 2018 - 11:33 PM

a couple weeks ago i received word that my grandmother had fallen in the night and fractured her hip.  this is a fairly common occurrence for elderly people, so it wasn't hugely shocking or worrying, but i started feeling a sense of dread when i found out my grandmother only weighed 78 lbs.

 

it seemed like things were going okay - she made it through surgery and was moved to a rehab facility, but then last saturday i found out she was back in the hospital with pneumonia & an infection.  knowing her fragile state, i did not have high hopes she would make it through this.

 

she went to hospice on tuesday, and now its just the waiting game until she dies.

 

i haven't had any real big sadness or depressive type states over this, but it has been affecting me in weird ways.  i've gone through periods of complete numbness, i've had periods where i've just lost track of time for a couple hours, i will feel mostly fine for most of the day then suddenly feel completely weighed down & exhausted, etc.

 

there are some additional things that are going to be related to her inevitable death that are going to be very awkward & difficult to me to deal with personally.  i'll get through it all, but its definitely going to be some trying times ahead.

 

i was already starting to dip into some bad feelings / bad brain zone times in general, so this on top has made me real oddly erratic & numb & not great.  i'm definitely outside of any kind of good rhythm - i'm not exercising, i'm drinking too much, i'm not working on anything i want to be working on (big time lack of focus / motivation), and i'm sleeping even worse than normal.  pretty much par for the course when death is involved, so i'm not beating myself up about it, but i'm looking forward to shaking all of this off and getting back to my regular self.


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you mean you forgot cranberries too?

#4428 Daemon9623

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Posted 15 September 2018 - 12:52 AM

Man, I feel you on that. I recently spent the evening with my grandmother and aunt, went over and made them dinner and we watched one of her favorite movies after (Random Harvest). When I stopped talking to my family for several years the two of them were the only ones I kept in contact with and it became tradition that we'd do holidays with them, which was really important for me, in hindsight. The dinner was a nice thing to get to do, but afterwards, when I got home, I felt this overwhelming feeling at the fact that that's a memory I'll have to hang onto. She's frail and quite old and I'm really worried about what losing her will do to me. We've always been pretty close (she bonded with me very strongly when I was a baby, apparently) and when I separated from my ex-wife and was going through my divorce I lived with her for about two months, through some of the worst of it for sure. She was a real pillar of strength for me during that time and even this same night of dinner did so again.* I was out driving to make some earnings and I was listening to my uncle's Irish folk band. Her favorite song he sings came on and I had to pull over in a parking lot because I just wanted to break down just thinking about her. I love her dearly and can't believe she's put up with so much, particularly my aunt, her youngest daughter, fighting cancer for, like, the fourth time and soldiering on. Too many times I get busy and caught up in my own bullshit and I don't talk to them enough, don't see them for months and when I do I really enjoy it, but I feel like an awful grandson, ungrateful for everything she, they, have done for me. It's heavy shit and I get really anxious about it all. So, Mig, I'm really sorry to hear about that. +1'd for solidarity.

In other news...

Spoiler

Dump over, I guess? I don't know, just kinda went stream of consciousness. Feels a bit better, thanks.


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#4429 Maiko

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Posted 19 September 2018 - 05:06 AM

Hi

 

depressed but not dead

 

flex


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Chop is exceptionally cute 

 

 


#4430 KarlGerm

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Posted 19 September 2018 - 01:44 PM

Hi

 

depressed but not dead

 

flex

 

this mantra is tattoo worthy


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#4431 Mike456

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Posted 05 October 2018 - 09:19 PM

I had a serious existential crisis at my old apartment less than a month ago and abruptly moved back in with my family. I got off my ass and took action to set up a doctor appointment and shyt and now I'm on a SNRI called Cymbalta and it's totes smoothed out my mood. I also, completely unexpectedly, ended up linking up with a awesome girl I've known for about 13 years and we've been super into eachother the past couple weeks. I'm not gonna put all my eggs in one basket just yet, she is going thru a tough time RE: a recent breakup, but I'm really hoping her and I are on the same page and continue spending time together. I'm hella happy about it! And if it doesn't work out, I'm still feeling p good. A lot of old friends are living out where I am and it's nice... also been feeling better about my job and am close enough to my old apartment to go see my city friends whenever I want! Party on, dudes.


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#4432 armor

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Posted 06 October 2018 - 01:16 AM

Recently I have been suffering from bouts of irrational depression and anxiety, it was just like what happened to me a year ago.

I think it was due to a bowel infection called Blastocystosis, which I got diagnosed for other complications not mental ones but both times antibiotics cleared it up and I feel like my mind has correspondingly cleared too, like night and day difference.

Sometimes life sucks because your circumstances suck, but sometimes life sucks because parasites are shitting neurotoxics metabolic waste into your bloodstream....

So take care of that meat suit you live in and if your employers and doctors think you just need to take some immodium and harden the fuck up you ignore that shit.

Cognitive behavioural therapies and mindful self talk and riding bikes are still good calls though.


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#4433 armor

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Posted 06 October 2018 - 01:22 AM

Might have A.D.D.

Will report back on this once tests are completed and results are in. Next test is on the 25th.

I don't think you will be reporting back if you have ADD?

 


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#4434 Demonstray

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Posted 07 October 2018 - 04:20 AM

Tests were inconclusive because while I meet the minimum criteria for someone who has ADD, my family and I have no recollection of me ever exhibiting symptoms in my early childhood or during school until late Junior high / early high school.

Also been struggling with post-project depression recently; relieved that I finished a project, I lack the energy to start a new one, even though starting a new project would help me with my energy and motivation to work on new things. Endless loop.
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#4435 Serena

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Posted 07 October 2018 - 09:37 AM

Things are not going well for me right now. My brother stole my late brother's ashes which I'm working to recover, I'm wrecked financially from battling addictions, I just found out I'm getting laid off in a few months, I'm having trouble in my relationship, and my future prospects aren't looking good. I'm hanging in there though. <3


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#4436 juef

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Posted 07 October 2018 - 10:16 AM

I'm hanging in there though. <3

 

Glad to know :) Be sure to reach out to me or anyone here should you want to / need to / feel like talking more about your job or relationship (or whatever else, really)!


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#4437 John MFer

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Posted 08 October 2018 - 08:44 AM

 now I'm on a SNRI called Cymbalta 

That shit is dangerous. Glad it's working for you but when I took it it made me feel like I had lightning bolts in my brain. 


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#4438 Demonstray

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Posted 08 October 2018 - 12:05 PM

Brain zaps are common when starting on these types of meds, but are supposedly way worse if you quit too quickly.

It should probably be emphasized that no matter what meds anyone is on, "your mileage may vary." I'm on Wellbutrin (bupropion) and tons of people complain about nightmares and night terrors on it, but I've experienced no such thing. Because of variances in brain composition between all people, there's like a 99.99...% chance that you and the next person you talk to will have had different experiences on the same meds. Once you find one that gives you few side effects but works, stick with it and report developments to your doctor if applicable.
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#4439 angry_polar_bear

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Posted 08 October 2018 - 05:39 PM

I think that’s the best approach. It took a lot of trial and error to learn that SSRIs/SNRIs are not for me because I’m too damn sensitive to them. It helps to document your mood in some way when you start/change a medication. Keep a simple little diary with any side effects you notice, and some kind of mood measure even if it’s just a “today was a 4/10”, or a sad face/neutral face/smiley face. It can help you to notice the subtle changes that are otherwise hard to pick up on.
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#4440 Naz

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Posted 09 October 2018 - 06:43 PM

I've been through the ringer the last few years, but i'm finally on a regiment that works for me.

 

SSRI's were all shit for me, so I'm on Mirtazapine as my main drug. It's great at night because it just knocks me out and doesn't interfere with alcohol.

 

I'm also on ativan (a benzo) once a day, and 20mg of Adderal. 

 

Might be a bit back and forth but it's working for me...

 

Definitely still crazy on the spectrum ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ .

 

But ask me anything, I've tried almost everything out there, including a bunch of herbal stuff that I can recommend against (kratom is highly addictive), and some stuff that you wouldn't normally try (microdosing LSD or mushrooms was a godsend for my OCD).


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