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Depression And Other Social Issues


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#4456 Jace

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Posted 23 April 2019 - 05:36 PM

I just said something like this to Robby in a text but, the weight of it right now sort of makes me feel like not participating in life any more but also what an insulting stain that would be on Sean's legacy of homie empowerment and self-improvement. I don't mean like, suicide, but just more like give up and get old and fat and kind of check out. But instead, I will continue to work to self-improve and rock and love, partly now in his memory.
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#4457 ErichWK

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Posted 23 April 2019 - 05:40 PM

hey all, i know i'm not really around on here anymore but seeing this thread made me want to say: i have been at the lowest of lows (nd theres probably some hideous old posts of mine floating in here), but things CAN get better and there is hope even if you cannot personally see or feel it. i went from planning my actual suicide to now, the happiest time of my life. therapy, self help reading, eating right, giving a shit about yourself and finding the medication that is right for you can change your world in ways you never could imagine and we are all pulling for each other. it can get better. hugs and kisses!

I wish you would post more, man! We missed you. I'm super happy you are feeling better, though!


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#4458 matsunami

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Posted 23 April 2019 - 06:31 PM

Joe, it was great to finally meet you in person. You're a funny dude and I got the warm and fuzzies right away.

Anyways, yeah....stay strong everyone. Daemon would be in this thread supporting us all through anything as horrific as this.
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#4459 zyko

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Posted 23 April 2019 - 06:35 PM

i have to stay away from this thread or i'll just be floodposting like a noob


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#4460 BornInCrimson

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Posted 23 April 2019 - 07:51 PM

I just said something like this to Robby in a text but, the weight of it right now sort of makes me feel like not participating in life any more but also what an insulting stain that would be on Sean's legacy of homie empowerment and self-improvement. I don't mean like, suicide, but just more like give up and get old and fat and kind of check out. But instead, I will continue to work to self-improve and rock and love, partly now in his memory.

 

Every minute you have is a gift, make the most of it and nevar say die.


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All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.


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#4461 Coward Crutch

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Posted 23 April 2019 - 11:38 PM

Thinking of all members, old and new today. Do your best, stay strong..
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#4462 ShawnPhase

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Posted 23 April 2019 - 11:42 PM

never say die. never stop trying to better ourselves. what happened to sean...no doubt this is rocking us to our cores and in such ways we will need plenty of time to internalize as well as externalize. but we have to continue to try and do our best, for one another, every day. here and there and in every facet of our lives. i understand i have caused many of you guys grief in the past and for each and every one of you, for sean, kain, eli, sarah, mike, brandon, for each and every all-one soul that we will and have known in the time we have here, until my own dying breath, i will do all that i can to make amends and undo any hurt and show the support that you all have shown to me, this i vow.

 

the last 4 or 5 years of my life have been quite challenging for me. challenging in both good ways and bad ways. my parents divorced in their mid 70s, my mom's mental as well as her physical health has diminished drastically and i have to tend to her in myriad ways that is very dynamic and can be different from day to day.. im heavily struggling and somehow in that struggle i feel the character of becoming a better and stronger person than i once was growing, maturing, seeing and appreciating life for what it is and can be. im improving so many skills of all different types that i can feel the benefit that this great loss of such a sweet person gives me pause to appreciate the life i and we created, and share together. in all different ways. last week, a livestreaming friend's entire family was in a car accident that left their business partner dead and their mother in critical condition, everyone in the vehicle was hurt in some way. it was someone attempting to flee from police that ran into 4 cars. life is and can often be so fleeting that we must cherish and respect this time for everything its worth, crimson is absolutely right. i know and appreciate so many people from all over the world, and have such a wide network of people who care and embrace me that i am truly blessed to have lived the life i've lived. if i didnt wake up tomorrow, i would be completely satisfied.

 

i pray every night and meditate often, and think about so many different things, facets and philosophies and teachings of life in order to clear my mind, clear my soul and get through the day that ive made for myself, but i wouldnt trade it for the world, i wouldnt change anything. every single bit of it is whats made me who i am. enjoy these things that ill share with you now. the first is all megaman, very comprehensive rundown in there with slight improvisations from what you remember from the tss 4 piece days even. the second is almost all virt, from shovel knight and bloodstained with megaman vr in the middle. from today, or now yesterday is freestyle chip to try and cheer or brighten myself up from the news of sean's death. ill do more of a tribute tomorrow after i give myself time to think of an absolutely majestic playlist of stuff that he would like the most. dm's are open, if you want to share with me some of his fave vgm for me to try out, im all ears. at this point the sky's the limit with me. these are tributes to the gispert, schainberg, and babbitt families and its been a true struggle to keep going after 1600+ days in a row, but like i said, i have to keep going, side by side, with all of you guys. i love you guys, and ill always love you guys.

 

 


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#4463 Demonstray

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Posted 24 April 2019 - 01:17 AM

I love all of you and I never, ever want any of you to forget that. The losses of Kain and Daemon have solidified in me the certainty that any and all losses of Shizzies are just as devastating, regardless of how active they are in the community both online and in real life. We are all in this community together, and it will never be possible to match nor surpass the amount of knowledge and most importantly LOVE that I have received from you all.

I know I can be very obnoxious and naïve, say some very frustrating and outright ignorant shit a lot of the time, but you've all been the best people with who I could ever have hoped to meet or converse.

I just wanted it to be known that through the good times and the bad, my love for you all as a community and as individuals is ever present and can never diminish.
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#4464 the Wozz

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Posted 24 April 2019 - 11:52 AM

 

I just said something like this to Robby in a text but, the weight of it right now sort of makes me feel like not participating in life any more but also what an insulting stain that would be on Sean's legacy of homie empowerment and self-improvement. I don't mean like, suicide, but just more like give up and get old and fat and kind of check out. But instead, I will continue to work to self-improve and rock and love, partly now in his memory.

 

Every minute you have is a gift, make the most of it and nevar say die.

 

 

 

Agreed on all levels. I need to get my ass in gear, I've kinda always been a cynical fuck, and for the most part I've grown out of that, but there's still more work to be done on myself.

 

AND, AS ALWAYS, I love you all very much.


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#4465 joe.distort

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Posted 24 April 2019 - 12:38 PM

Joe, it was great to finally meet you in person. You're a funny dude and I got the warm and fuzzies right away.

same! that weekend felt like a whirlwind, and in relation to the thread, those dates used to be very, very hard for me. its nice to replace bad memories with new good ones, which is something i've been doing a lot in the last year


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#4466 brodan

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Posted 24 April 2019 - 05:20 PM

ShawnPhase, thank you for the c&s stock reports above. ive been watching them and just picturing in my mind daemon's wild hair whipping all over as he headbangs to the megaman tunes live. i started crying immediately. love and miss you all


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#4467 ShawnPhase

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Posted 24 April 2019 - 07:51 PM

it is my pleasure brotha. anything i can do to take ya'lls mind off this tragedy. i did this one today if you want a lil more. its all songs by my friends kfaraday and razerek, two of what i feel to be the most incredible chipmusicians of all time next to shnab and jake...i needed to play some happy yet high energy and frantic stuff to get control of the rest of my day..the good thing about this stuff for me is that i can do what fits my mood to deal with my emotions on the longterm, and after all this playing ive done i can focus to do some really unimaginable stuff.

 

this is 17 songs of completely abstract chiptunes, 4 of em i did for the first time. i felt a bit better after this, but maybe an hour or so after finishing i of course started breaking down again. ill take what peace i can get where i can get it. if it helps anybody else out there, im happy to lay it on yas. hugs man.

 


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#4468 VikingGuitar

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Posted 25 April 2019 - 07:24 AM

I've been having a lot of trouble with Sean's passing.  In particular, the last few months have been grindingly exhausting.  I'm not acclimating well to Pittsburgh, I'm super depressed about everything I went through over the last year, and just in general feel like I've been served a big helping of "nothing you do will matter.  No matter how hard you try, the things you care about the most will fail." 

 

On top of that, Sean gets killed.  Violently.  Without reason.  I've had friends die by violence in the past, and have been involved in situations where a number of other people have died violently, but this one is particularly impactful.  He didn't deserve it, and it's horrible to see how much everyone else is hit by it.  I hate to make this about me, because it's not about me, but it came at pretty much the worst time for me.  I've always tried to be supportive of other people, and to be the one that others can rely on when things go bad, but I'm just exhausted right now.  Most of my faith in things getting better is gone.  It feels like the life lesson about things just getting worse and worse has been hammered into me over and over, and I don't know what to do besides just continuing to go through the motions and hope it gets better.


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Good lord, the fucking


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#4469 Arm Cannon

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Posted 25 April 2019 - 07:29 AM

I feel similarly, this has been the worst year of my life, besides a few bright spots.

I’ll try to make a trip down to Pittsburgh soon if you’re into it bud
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#4470 Smeg

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Posted 25 April 2019 - 07:53 AM

I don't have any deep insights, so I'm not gonna blow smoke up your ass, Erik. But I can tell you've been struggling, and I do hope it gets better.


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