Got some lab results, and I had a pretty big vitamin D deficiency, which can lead to feelings of exhaustion, unrest, and depression. I've been taking some supplements (and some magnesium for sleep), and have been feeling a bit better. The Doc prescribed me some Lexapro, but I haven't filled it yet, as I'm worried about the side effects.
Depression And Other Social Issues
Posted 07 November 2018 - 08:04 PM
Alex, get out in that sun boiii. I had the same problem back when I worked an office job..
I worked outside in the sun and still had a vitamin D deficiency, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Had my appointment with the neurologist today, and even though I pretty much knew the outcome, there was some semblance of hope that it might be something neurological and curable. He walks in and asks "so why are you here ?" and I'm like "what do you mean ? The ENT told me to see a neurologist so here I am" and he wasn't pleased. Basically said I had Meniere's because literally all signs pointed to it, despite my "clean" VNG, so that ENT can go fuck herself with her nonsense, telling me it wasn't that and my ear was fine because of one fucking test and not even bothering to listen to the LITERAL MENIERE'S SYMPTOMS I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY FUCKING BASIS. I would have been fucking fine if she just didn't want to treat me or didn't want to handle that sort of thing if, you know, she would have been honest about it. He did some basic tests and told me he didn't want to waste my time doing any further major testing, because most of it was already done anyways, and is just going to refer me to a specialist, which was good, but, pretty fucking depressed about this. I don't even know if major surgery is possible, or if it would do anything, so...fuck me. I can't handle this shit. This is just going to be my life now ? I can't work, can't really do much of anything. I'm going to have to be on this stupid fucking diet the rest of my goddamned life; no alcohol, no salt, no eating out, no going out until this really calms down, if ever so there goes any kind of social life too. Joy.
Posted 08 November 2018 - 11:45 PM
On more selfish topics, my therapist and I talked about how chronic fatigue syndrome is a real thing, but we didn't really discuss whether I could have it or not. My constant tiredness, weakness, and difficulty with concentration means I spent much of my day irritable and cynical when it comes to...well, anything, so it may just be that side of me talking, but I am frustrated that she changed the subject when I asked whether it's possible that I could have this "chronic fatigue syndrome". I know that it's supposedly very rare, so I'm not about to assume I have it, but uh..."chronic fatigue" really sums up how I've been living for the past 7+ years.
You don't see me going to ice cream socials and not eating ice cream and socializing.
Posted 09 November 2018 - 02:44 PM
Take control of your diets like literally do experiments withholding or bingeing on categories of food, you'd be surprised at what can cause problems, I have had negative reactions to a number of what are considered to be "health" foods.
When your red blood cells get crenulated (shrunken and wrinkeled) they stack onto each other and block your capillaries and can't transmit oxygen.
Maybe lecithin is bad for me. A vegan high protein diet can be extremely high in lecithin.
I have a compound microscope at home and some days I'm panting after going up and down two flights of stairs, and my blood cells are all stacked up.
Doctors don't give a shit about this. I had a spirochette infection and I told 3 different doctors and all 3 said get on prozac,
Not a godamn one of them was like "oh so you're a certified pathologist of non-human organisms? or how can you see something microns in size unless you have a home microscope."
Yeah, cryptic infections and cryptic dietary problems and arrogant MDs..... good luck everyone!
Posted 19 November 2018 - 03:37 AM
tfw you know when you gotta do to rip yourself out of a deep one
but this one has got been hittin me so hard, ive been havin these nostalgic deja vus
been a 3 month plus dinger, sick of it
KIRK! YOU WANGUS! <3 Please always know that this community cares about you a lot.
ARMOR i have never met you in but I care about you a lot because you are an inspiring homie who makes me want to headbang and kickflip a lot.
Posted 20 November 2018 - 10:08 AM
Nothing to contribute to recent conversation, but best wishes to you all, hang in there <3
Guess I just feel like venting a bit, because I'm sure in a weird place right now. On one hand, I'm really excited. My lady and I are beginning a new life together. And, for the first time in years, I'm not worried about money. I feel like I'm moving up. On the other hand, almost everything else I've known for so long feels like it's coming tumbling down, and has been for a while.
My parents, who are two of my best friends, sold the house I had known as a second home my entire adult life, retired, and moved 1800 miles away. I went from seeing them every weekend, to twice a year. I went by the old house recently, hung out in the old town, and so much has changed in such a short time. It's bizarre.
My younger brother, another best friend, is so occupied with his toxic relationship that he rarely talks to anyone anymore. Didn't even reply to my happy birthday text.
My other friends, even those closest to me, I hardly see anymore. Some are going through bad breakups and are so depressed they just don't hang out. Some, I don't know, I feel like they straight up cut me out, but didn't have the heart to unfriend me on social media (which apparently is all they ever use to communicate anymore). Some are so gung-ho over one particular thing, a thing which I'm not so enthusiastic about, that they never want to do anything else. They don't get why I'm not on that same page.
And I had to give up another friend...my rescue dog. Love her dearly, but it became clear that I could no longer give her what she deserves.
Even this community has changed a lot. I still check the board every day, but rarely feel I have anything to contribute. Kinda just feel like I don't really fit in with the current scene. But maybe it's me who has changed, not anyone else. After all, it is me who hardly plays games or makes music anymore.
Anyway. I mentioned starting a new life, and meant that in more ways than one. The lady and I are thinking about moving, starting over somewhere else. Part with everything we don't absolutely want or need to keep. Sell our houses. Perhaps I'll find a job where I can work remote from anywhere I want. Home just doesn't feel like home anymore for either of us. But where would we even go? It has been home for so long, and it's heartbreaking feeling like it's a shell of what it once was.
Maybe all this is like a 1/3-life crisis and I should learn to adjust. Maybe it's just a part of getting older. But, maybe, it really is time to embrace change. I don't know, but being in this sort of stagnant, status quo position isn't a good feeling, and I know I have some big decisions to make to fix that.
Posted 01 December 2018 - 09:38 AM
Posted 01 December 2018 - 01:22 PM
Theshizz I feel bad that I haven’t been more hype on doing shizz events and making music and all sorts of things. I feel like I’m not doing as good at keeping in touch with y’all but my brain has been real real bad lately. Not even like critically depressed or anything I just feel dull and tired.
Feel you. I've got a kid but I'm trying to keep the flame alive. I may not be able to make it to the odd weekend concert like I used to be able to, but damn if I'm not still going to try. I would love to drive up just for an animu night sometime. I hope to get a new job soon because my job is bullshit and it's making me dull and tired. Hopefully that will reset me a bit. Maybe you can mix things up for yourself somehow.
Posted 01 December 2018 - 01:24 PM
Kain, only you can mention your mother's death and your new awesome MMX NES rom hack in one post... so condolences and high five
There's a big difference between a show being good and a shoe being enjoyable.
Posted 01 December 2018 - 01:49 PM
I don't even know what the hell I'm going to do if I ever become more independent. Still unsure if I am going to stay in Portland or move to Salem. Leaning towards staying in Portland. Either way I really should look into going back to school if I can get the financial aid
THIS PCB IS NOT KILLING
EVERY FOREIGN FOOD IS A LIE.
“well, if you get kidnapped and sent down a river for real, yeah, they probably aren’t gonna give you any trail mix.”
Posted 03 December 2018 - 07:10 PM
Tru. I want to get a new job but I feel like I'm making decent money for a dumb guy with no degree and it'd be hard to switch.
Golden Handcuffs. I've got them too. At least, I had them until someone might have offered me another job. I may or may not get that other job now, but now I've been work red pilled and the jail of my mind has finally broken the thought that I'll be here forever.
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