4538 replies to this topic

[ShawnPhase]

one thing that is important to remember, as cheesy and corny and cliche as it sounds is this, and it rings true with every day that passes in my life, every person ive cared about who passes on, just the same as every time i am blessed. god and the lives we live will never put more on us than we can endure. of course it doesnt help matters in the moment to fully subscribe to this m.o. but what is important to always remember is our ability to push way negativity and adversity when we feel it seeping in and gaining control of our psyche. we are all here together, so many people wandering through life simply dont have the support or tight knit communities we are a part of. truly be blessed in this and knowing that you will face many times many different things that will try your soul. its how we get through it and make the most of it that builds our character and helps us grow as people, and in turn, to help and to heal others. keep on truckin erik, you're a great dude and you truly care to put your best foot forward, again and again. all you guys are.

 

'hell is in the here and now. so is heaven. dont worry about hell or dreaming about heaven, as they are both present inside this very moment. every time we fall in love, we ascend to heaven. every time we hate, envy, or fight someone, we tumble straight into the fires of hell.'

                                                                                                                                                -elif shafak

[WilliamTheBard]

I love all you people.

 

In the long years of struggling with depression and hopelessness and loneliness, theshizz was always there for me and you all are theshizz. I was so looking forward to seeing Sean at MagWest this year, hanging with him late into the night as we ate our body weight in burritos.

 

Thank you all for being here and for being the kind of people that you are. I want to make deeper connections with you all just out of sheer appreciation for what sort of people you are and am a bit embarrassed for not having done so sooner.

[atomic-guy]

I posted something similar on facebook last night but wanted to expand a bit here. There's a lot of heavy stuff happening in my orbit right now. I know in some of those instances my pain pales in comparison with others, but that doesn't make it any less valid and I shouldn't feel guilty for thinking about myself. Sean's death is is about all of us and we're all feeling it in our own ways. Erik, you have every right to make this "about you" because your grief is hitting you in a specific place. None of us needs to bottle our feelings up because someone has it worse off than we do.

 

At the same time there is a lot of good happening. For myself I'm specifically thinking about how my second child was born last Monday. He came six weeks early and had a short stay in the NICU - which was scary to say the least - but it's a tremendous joy to have him home and in my life. Then these heavier things keep happening, too, and there's temptation to feel guilty about being happy about something else. But it's not an either/or. I can grieve Sean AND be overjoyed about my son. One doesn't take away from the other, and I shouldn't feel guilty about my emotions.

 

There's more I want to say but they're not quite forming into words at this point. So I'll just leave it at that.

[jvincion]

I totally agree, and though I wish this horrible situation had never happened, it inspires me to live life as Sean did - always keeping positive and bringing other people up in the face of adversity.

I've been going through some of my own stuff over the last seven months or so (two big changes at once set it in motion), and the release of Devin Townsend's "Empath" album last month started me on the way back around to a more positive experience.

The album is basically an anti-suicide statement in saying that there is the beautiful and the ugly, and that we should appreciate that both of those things will never go away. There will be beautiful days and there will be hideous days, but we all have the strength to endure, because we're all in this together.

The last line of the album is extremely poignant, as it sums up the album and the sentiment well:

"If you can't shine for you friend, please shine for me!"

Shizzies nevar say die!

[the Wozz]

I totally agree, and though I wish this horrible situation had never happened, it inspires me to live life as Sean did - always keeping positive and bringing other people up in the face of adversity.

Shizzies nevar say die!

My sentiments as well. I've been really re-evaluating myself and how I want to live my life going forward. Nevar Say Die.

[Kirk]

 

I totally agree, and though I wish this horrible situation had never happened, it inspires me to live life as Sean did - always keeping positive and bringing other people up in the face of adversity.

Shizzies nevar say die!

My sentiments as well. I've been really re-evaluating myself and how I want to live my life going forward. Nevar Say Die.

 

ive been getting stuck in bed / on the couch every day, and today i looked if there were endgame tickets available for the first screening and there were a few and did a WWDD? and i went and am glad.  

 

I've been in a real bad one the past 4 months now, but these past few days it's felt more like a daze.  

 

i also played guitar for more than an hour for the first time in several years.  

[ErichWK]

I totally agree, and though I wish this horrible situation had never happened, it inspires me to live life as Sean did - always keeping positive and bringing other people up in the face of adversity.

Shizzies nevar say die!

My sentiments as well. I've been really re-evaluating myself and how I want to live my life going forward. Nevar Say Die.

Me too. I'm trying to learn to be less cynical. Appreciate my life more and be more like Daemon. WWDD like kirk said! What would he do right now if this happened to any of us?

[angry_polar_bear]

I had a long chat with my brother yesterday. He had some insight which I think is important to share. Some of you may know that a British politician was murdered a few years ago during the run-up to the Brexit vote, and she was not only a political colleague of my brother but also his friend and former boss. So he understands.

His advice: firstly seek out whatever support you can, but know that when so many of your support group are also affected, people will get emotionally burnt out quickly. So, it’s important to seek out others who can provide some objectivity to be able to listen and support without being as involved. This could be a therapist or a friend or family member who is more distant. This is the time to tap all those resources to help people get through this.

The second piece of advice is exactly what i already see happening: focus on the positive, the good memories, the fact that this can end up motivating you to change yourself or the world. Start something new, finish something abandoned, reach out to someone you drifted away from, be a better person to yourself and everyone around you.

[Arm Cannon]

My mom passed away in September, and Sean had these words for me.

[brodan]

fucking shit. we lost such a selfless, incredible person. the world is a fucking nightmare sometimes.

[MegaMatt]

Is there a form of shizz chatroom these days? I feel like it's time to reconnect with people and that would be a decent way to ease in instead of like writing 100 different PMs across various social media platforms.

[angry_polar_bear]

Discord (shizz & DoD) has been pretty active. I don’t know how to do invites for that though

[ShawnPhase]

https://discord.gg/eAsXD3 theres the link.

[M-H]

How do people deal with divorce? I seem to be heading that way and it's crushing me. I'm still in love with her but she does not feel that for me. I would do anything for her. That's probably what hurts the most. But she has other things going on with herself that I'd rather keep offline to respect her privacy which are affecting the situation. We've moved into separate apartments and are basically now just close friends. We watch after each other's dogs when needed and sometimes get together at IHOP (literally walking distance for both of us) and have a chat. But all I can muster is a perfunctory "I'm doing okay". She would be devastated to know how much this is affecting me and I can't put that on her. She's going through a lot too, but it's different.

The last people in my family-both sides-who didn't go through divorce were my great grandparents. Is my bloodline cursed? I was super pumped to be the one to break that cycle. I'm still able to live my life, mostly, and do some of the things I enjoy. Is it called high-functioning depression? A lot of other activities now are more to distract my brain than anything else.

She's thinking of moving back home to Indiana. I don't know what I'd do with myself. Part of the idea of moving here was to start fresh and build something somewhere together. The idea of having to date again sounds goddamn awful. And almost everybody my age at this point will have kids. I don't really want anything to do with children and really never have. Where does that leave me? I'm gonna be that weird old single uncle to my brother's daughter who I see maybe once every two years.

My mom cried when I told her the gist of what was happening and that was really hard to handle.

I don't know what to do other than continuing to aimlessly go through the motions of life. I don't have any ambition or life goals. We were wanting to buy a house together at one point. No way to possibly afford that now. My credit card was almost paid off and then I had to put $1800 on it for repairs and new tires on my car this weekend. Ugh

[nEwT]

Oh man... I can totally relate to you, having gone through both a divorce AND a moving-to-a-new-city-to-start-new-life-with-partner-and-in-the-end-not-happening situation. Will elaborate more when not at work.

It is not the end of the world, tho, believe me!