I haven't given up or surrendered yet. No urge hit me last night and I spent my night watching 750lb women eat floppy, soggy pizza and complain about it all.
I guess I'll probably play through this thread as posted chronologically, first come first served luncheonette style. If you posted a metric "SHIT TON" ha ha, of them in a list, I might not play them all in one go around. Maybe I'll do 1 from each person then loop around. If all the games are really fun, as I suspect they might be from Shizz suggestions, it might take me a while to get through everyone's suggestions.
So the first game I'm playing (and still playing, off the toilet and typing this) is Midnight Resistance.
This one has been pretty fun, I guess that's why I'm still playing it. Just like Contra, nothing crazy. The levels are extremely short and sort of weird - in the middle of the first one, you blow up a little manhole cover and go down a ladder (you can't hold down and jump or press a button to go through platforms which makes things tricky), and then you crawl on your belly while other men crawl after you down into a pit. You also can't get onto your gut and shoot forward unless you're trapped and crawling in a man-sized pit, so everything has to be shot while standing or jumping if it's directly perpendicular to you. You can still shoot directly down or either side diagonal while crawling, though.
It has a neat item mechanic or upgrade? system that seems cool, I didn't understand it at first. You encounter red enemies which you can kill, and then get "keys". When you beat a level you're taken to an item room where you can choose from guns (I think it was spread gun, heavy machine gun, flame beam and rocket launcher/exploding gun), upgrades (I think - I picked one called Shower, and every time I press up and fired, it fired out a big amount of homing missiles that took down one of my supply, I got 50, so more than enough to last a whole level I think), and maybe armor? I picked up something called S. Charge but I couldn't tell what it was doing. You have unlimited ammo for your pea shooter gun and 500 (no pickups during the level, you have to buy ammo between levels if you want it) for special guns. There's also a bunch of control schemes to pick I stuck with the default where if you just press A once, it auto fires which is great for your default gun but bad for the others as you don't want to be spewing bullets away.
I got pretty far but haven't beaten it yet (didn't get to the man in space who barfs out testicles). I had a lot of trouble on level 3 or 4, you're crossing a bridge and at parts a tank comes after you but for the life of me I can't figure out how to let it go past me without it killing me 2-3 times? I've tried ducking under it, avoiding the shots and jumping on it/over it, but nothing. It has too many hitpoints to kill in one pass. Beats me. Other than that, not too high of a difficulty it seems.
All in all I give it a my legs are starting to tingle and fall asleep from playing this game out of generic bowel movement.