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DBJ Mike or: Genesis on the toilet, bAss Masters Classic: Pro Edition

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#31 cetera

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Posted 09 April 2015 - 06:38 AM

pieness and i were talking about this and we would like to request video documentation. 


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first of all, funky fm music just really does it for me.  Even if it's something corny like early mariah carey I can get way into the music with the fm bass and keys going on.   Then, there's everything else in this song.  The enigmatic title.  The synth programming brings out all the right emotional responses in me:  leads that remind me of thunderforce (even if the portamento isn't quite as exaggerated), chording synths that remind me of very old and charming genesis osts like super monaco (except somehow they don't sound as flimsy here), and of course a solid bass.  Great original motifs, interesting harmonies, good melody, rhythm.. everything that can make a song great is here!

 

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#32 DiscountBabyJam Mike

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Posted 09 April 2015 - 03:23 PM

Game of the shit. Two Crude Dudes.
 
NjjWGU4.jpg?2
 
This one was just OK. I liked the concept of it, but it has a combination of things that really bother me in beat-em-ups: 1) few enemies per screen, or combined with constant one screen scrolls. You beat up two dudes. walk one screen, stop. Repeat. combined with 2) enemies or game systems you can't "combo" with. In this game you can only kick, punch or throw a man once, and he flies away and flashes with invisibility. This makes for the lame tactic of just jump kicking like wild, which I hate. It's fine for big groups of enemies in other games, or to get them off you, but I don't like that this one sort of encourages that to be safe at points or for super annoying enemies. And 3) enemies that can grab or grip you. I hate these assholes. The grippers in this game include small, fat gut Danny DeVito clones who jump on you and grab all over your body, robo-dogs or long snakes. They love to grip you, then all the enemies surround you and you get hit when you get ungripped, or instantly get gripped again. Damn it to hell.
 
The music for this was perfectly fine. The shining part of this game is that you can pick-up and grip pretty much anything in the game, from pipes to barrels to huge cars to the enemies themselves and grip them. However it wasn't enough for me. This game doesn't seem that hard and gives you plenty of continues, so I may try to beat it. I think it would be fun with two players.
 
I give it one naked Danny DeVito covered in sweat crawling out of a leather couch out of two explosive chaff like shits in two days.
 


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#33 ErichWK

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Posted 09 April 2015 - 06:57 PM

"Grippin You.. Like WOOOOW"


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#34 ShawnPhase

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Posted 09 April 2015 - 07:44 PM

two crude doods go in, one crood dook comes out


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#35 DiscountBabyJam Mike

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Posted 14 April 2015 - 04:15 PM

The game of the time is now: ESWAT: City under Siege. This was actually given two attempts due to the fact that the first time I played it earlier tonight, I got mad at it. The second reason being, I absconded to the men's room in my apartment a second time due to my consumption of a dozen honey-hot chicken wings last night and decided to give this game ONE MORE TRY as a favor to forum user raubhimself before I write a scathing review of it here.

 

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Well, I dislike it. You can definitely tell this is the sequel to an arcade game and that they didn't change much, or make it any easier. The first two levels you don't even get to be an ESWAT, you're just a normal, blue jeans and button up cop man. No power-ups, nothing. A little pea shooter gun. Your walk speed is of that of an old man. You slowly trudge along. The lack of diagonal aiming is killer. Men shoot streams of bullets up or down, and you have to sneak in and quickly shoot up to get them. The hit boxes are good, but the movement and slowness of walking, coupled with slightly faster jumping speed, is killer. It feels very hard to react quickly to shots, or enemies, and you are certain to get it due to your man's tall, square body. There's also a very odd, seemingly very half-assed implementation of a "select" key of the A button, which either selects your weapons when you're ESWAT, or lets you jump "behind" or into the background of objects to avoid shots. It came up very rarely and was super clunky.

 

On level three you get to put on a suit of armor and be ESWAT. You can jetpack around, enemies now drop weapons like rocket launchers and charge up blasts. I couldn't make it to the end. There's just too many creatures and shots. I did like the music of this game, it isn't anything crazy, or innovative, but it's beefy and has a nice feel. The graphics look see-able by human eyes.

 

This game is certainly a raw, burning asshole out of more than four hard liquor and bhut jolokia pepper sauce shits a day.


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#36 DiscountBabyJam Mike

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Posted 14 April 2015 - 05:38 PM

Well since my abdominal wall is turning into a sheet of 1" thick iron I had to visit again and decided to advance onward. Due to "Shoe" providing some games I've both already played, I skipped to Comix Zone.

 

uzEHBsy.jpg?1

 

I didn't get super far in this one (third page/chapter) but I think I can beat it and I'm definitely going to try. This game has great graphics, sort of OK-to-acceptable music, and a very cool format of "I'm in the comic", which, beyond being a fan of comics, is a cool way to present a brawler/constrained 2D platformer with light puzzling and secrets. I also like that the guy you play is "I'm imagining myself in a comic looking super cool and 90s but also non-chalant but also a superhero" 90s brain Rob Liefeld. 
 

It does seem very short as if the meter is accurate I was almost 1/3rd done with the brief bit I've played, however there doesn't appear to be any extra lives or continues, or I haven't found any yet, so each time it was some trial and error with the different panels. If you fall down a hole, or punch a fan too much, you're one and done dead.

 

Regardless, I give this a good grade of a toilet seat with the warmth of a smooth, casual, perfectly cooked medium-rare steak interior out of a number of turbo shits.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRItteqfcps

 

The video is x-treme much like the game.


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#37 ShawnPhase

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Posted 14 April 2015 - 06:09 PM

all joking aside, did they port S.C.A.T. aka Final Mission to the MD? cuz that'd be the most sensible thing to play if you're looking for some shittingaming. i believe final mission made its way onto quite a few multicarts, so theres a good chance they may have ported it to the md, albeit maybe in a pirate form.


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#38 Shoe

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 09:19 AM

Anxiously awaiting the next toilet update. 


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Wizwars, about the bush hogging. Just wet and part my man. Give that bush the Moses treatment and head for the Promised Land.

Whaaaaaaaaat.

#39 mooniniteG

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Posted 15 July 2015 - 03:17 AM

I always liked Revenge of Shinobi more than Shinobi 3.
I think the only reason is, Revenge of Shinobi was my third ever genesis game, after the pack-in altered beast and the first day buy of After Burner.
 
 
Great Genesis games, that might go unmentioned on just about every "best of" list:
 
- Rocket Knight Adventures
- Toe Jam & Earl (just the first)
- General Chaos (rarely mentioned, but a really cool strategy/action game)
- El Viento / Final Zone / Granada / Anything by Wolf Team
- Gunstar Heroes
- Arrow Flash
- Thunder Force IV
- Alisia Dragoon
- Insector-X
- Golden Axe II (it's a exclusive)
 
Of the top of my head, those are some hidden gems on the console.
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#40 DiscountBabyJam Mike

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Posted 29 February 2016 - 10:36 PM

We played some Devilish on a proper Genesis at an ECS meetup at some point and it was hell of fun. That's a good co-op drinking game for turbo Arkanoid action with bizarre bosses.

Ok at this point I don't remember where or whose games I was working on so I just chose Ranger's post for ideas. I had already played Thunderforce IV, MUSHA, Darius II and Gley Lancer (not on your list but of the same vein) at points in the fall, and they are good but this is supposed to be classic new shits. I tried to load up Gain Ground but instead it loaded up Fire Shark? (which I actually beat last month and was very proud of myself as it is the first Genesis game I have ever beaten on a Genesis or Genesis related console). Wasn't sure what was up with that but taking a shit is no time for long-form detailed police investigations on ROMs. Instead I chose Wings of Wor and was related with a strange game that at first grip reminded me of the abomination that is Actraiser II.

You may notice that I am now in a new bathroom, I moved outside of Philadelphia. I am now in a grandma duplex with beautiful pink tile. My fat ham thighs can barely fit and ram into the toilet paper roll holder.

 

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Too hard to use with one hand and film. RIP

 

 

I will come back and try to beat this game. Let all doubters of the Nomad be cast into a pit of eternal hellfire. The d-pad is so damn good. I was moving at warp speed. The few bosses I encountered (large ship of skulls, "Zombie" train skullman, etc) had bizarre bullet patterns that weren't too hard, but had strange ground and wall bouncing bullets requiring top agility. I was able to easily dodge them with the precision of the Nomad d-pad. I didn't full understand what the powerups I was getting were, besides grab em all. Blue orbs, red orbs, small wings, a scroll with "S" on it. Sometimes three bars filled up with E-S-S and I hit C and my man farted out large gold shields or discs, and then another time I hit A and he made some sort of aura? Or shield? I was confused. The best option was to hold B and fill the screen with bullets while dodging. Before each boss, at least that I could tell, is an exciting segment where approx 1,000 red little shitlords spew out from the right and you shoot them down like wild. Seemed memorable to me in its ridiculousness.

There's also a cloud enemy that shits out what appears to be Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage links. I originally though these were hot dogs but I'm almost positive they seem to have the pepper + sage + maple syrup looking texture of primarily pork-based breakfast sausage links.

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The music for this game is all over the place, from foreboding, incredibly inappropriate bass-line heavy dirges for bosses that are spewing out hundreds of bullets: http://gamemusic.mul...-sega-genesis#6 to baroque pedal-note harpsichord aping strangeness: http://gamemusic.mul...-sega-genesis#7

All in all, not the best looking shmup, or best put together (so it seems, though I do like the birdman/angel theme), it still earns a solid if not outstanding, 2/3 incredible gut aches due to excessive gas only relieved by crouching on the floor like a chupacabra.


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#41 Disposable Hero

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Posted 29 February 2016 - 10:46 PM

I always liked Revenge of Shinobi more than Shinobi 3.
I think the only reason is, Revenge of Shinobi was my third ever genesis game, after the pack-in altered beast and the first day buy of After Burner.
 
- El Viento / Final Zone / Granada / Anything by Wolf Team

I love both Shinobi games (despite not being good at them) but 3 is more polished in both presentation and musical production, imo. I should attempt them as I loved Shinobi arcade and Shadow Dancer but the gameplay is quite different.
 
I've never played those Wolf Team games but I have never been a huge fan of Sakuraba. I may get flamed for that statement, but some of the samples he uses really grinds my gears. 

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#42 mooniniteG

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Posted 29 February 2016 - 11:11 PM

Hey Mike, did you mod your Nomad with a better screen or something?


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#43 DiscountBabyJam Mike

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Posted 01 March 2016 - 07:22 AM

Hey Mike, did you mod your Nomad with a better screen or something?

 

I didn't personally do it myself, I bought it modded from a man on eBay http://www.ebay.com/usr/junk-b-gone

 

He hasn't listed anything recently, or has stopped doing it. I know he said in the listing I asked him about and ended up buying it was one of his last ones, and unfortunately the eBay listing has long since expired so all I have is the title and what I remember from it.The Nomad's screen is a 3.5" LCD screen (I remember the listing saying it was an old, new then at the time, backup screen for cars). The contrast knob no longer works, and you control the screen with a small button-battery powered remote, which since it is a modern LCD screen you get a bunch more options for tweaking but I haven't messed with it since I initially set it up.

The Battery Pack is also modded so it has a new cell phone battery inside. It came with what appears to be a generic 1/8" cell phone battery charger. The Battery Pack lasts upwards of 6 hours.

 

Actually, this small guide www.racketboy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=17415 appears to be the same process, though the eBay guy did a much cleaner job as far as the hole drilling and installation, but that can be duplicated and the results appear to be the same, though the link is now 7 years old.


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#44 streifig

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Posted 01 March 2016 - 09:20 AM

I request that you play Earthworm Jim, reach the stage called "Intestinal Distress" and then play that stage on your toilet.
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