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#16 Valence

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Posted 05 August 2016 - 12:05 AM

I don't know what that is unfortunately but I'm assuming that's the 20 years later story I so deeply crave. 

 

So, yes. 


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#17 Valence

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Posted 06 August 2016 - 06:49 PM

We end the week with my pick...
 
21jumpstreet_zpsfmqmgoxc.jpg

I remember hearing how funny this movie was but never got around to seeing it BUT as soon as I saw it in their collection I knew I had to finally mark this off my list since it's been on it for so damn long. I felt like this would be the best of this week's movies and saved it for last and for the most part it is the best but this movie was weird. Apparently it's a remake of an old TV series but that doesn't really matter since I'm not familiar with it at all so who cares; as long as I laugh more than I rage I regard it as a net positive experience.

 

Spoiler

 

Overall, it was funny. There were definitely things that bothered me and took me out of the funny but, for the most part, it was enjoyable. It was...good, I guess. Definitely the best of the three this week. 


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#18 Valence

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Posted 08 August 2016 - 04:38 PM

22jumpstreet1_zpsi6xmth4k.jpg

Well, fuck, this was just boring. I guess it was unwise to watch both of these movies "back to back" but I really wanted to just get it out of the way, which thinking about it now is probably not the best mindset to go into a movie but whatever, I didn't enjoy it very much. I was really hoping for some decent laughs in this and they are there but holy shit are they few and far between with a lot of "oh I see what they did there but ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I guess others will find that funny" moments that just made this movie feel so looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong and boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooring so excuse me if this "in depth analysis of film" is lacking because I just don't have it in me. 

 

Spoiler

 

This just...wasn't good. Not enough comedy to really make it worth the while but everyone's mileage will vary. It was just overlong and most of the jokes just didn't really land like I think they wanted them to.


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#19 munzadeth

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Posted 10 August 2016 - 03:03 PM

god damn it I love these... do you take requests?


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#20 Valence

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Posted 10 August 2016 - 03:07 PM

god damn it I love these... do you take requests?

 

Yeah, I don't see why not, sure.


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#21 Valence

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Posted 12 August 2016 - 07:10 PM

theinternship_zps9fhmmxbh.jpg
 

Sigh.

 

Y'know, it's tough to say whether I'm just that dead inside that nothing is funny anymore or if said comedy movie that was just experienced really wasn't that great to begin with. Obviously both of these men have made funny movies in the past, even some where they both star in that same funny movie just like this one but goddamnit, you're in nerd territory movie and I don't got no time for this shit. You better not just phone this shit in and give the same old tired shit I've seen over and over again OOPS TOO LATE YOU DID IT THANKS FOR WASTING MY TIME. 

 

Seriously, just look at the poster up there. Just from the box alone you know exactly how this movie is going to go. It's a bunch of "old" guys going to work at Google, a "young hip awesome-as-fuck" company to work for. Hijinks ensues. There will be a low point and then a triumphant victory. There is girl getting. I hate myself.

 

Spoiler

 

All in all, this movie was painfully boring and not funny. Ugh.


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#22 Valence

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Posted 17 August 2016 - 10:30 PM

fiftyshadesoffuckyou1_zpseiftwo8c.jpg

Just look at it. It's amazing isn't it ? Are you laughing because seriously, I can't fucking stop. Look at that thing. I just got done watching the film and get the poster art all sorted before starting and this is what I'm greeted with holy shit that dick tie is so fucking funny this can't be fucking serious and I TOTALLY FORGOT that this came out on VALENTINE'S DAY AHAHAHAHAH HONEY LET'S GO TO THE MOVING PICTURES AND GO WATCH AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE LOVE AHAHAHAH I can't even believe this is fucking real this goddamned poster holy shit.

 

Alright, so you might be wondering why on earth would you do this to yourself jesus what the hell would you expect but may I remind you about certain movies in the past holy shit so really why wouldn't I watch this ? Everyone had to see this coming eventually; it's really just a matter of circumstances being right and getting an "opportunity" to watch this film. Plus, it's not like remixes of Bob-Omb Battlefield just fall from the sky or maybe something else I don't know I haven't decided but I love Bob-Omb Battlefield but if you are totally not feeling that it's cool I can come up with something else it's fine wait is this even supposed to be a secret why am I doing this right now but maybe if I review this shitty awful movie something good will be born unto this world from this misery. Maybe. Possibly.

 

Just to further clarify I have not read the awful tomes which this film is based for only the strong of mind can withstand the cursed texts and I am but a feeble man that laughs at dick ties. However I did read a chapter by chapter synopsis by Jenny Trout which was hilarious, fucking frightening and very insightful. If you have the spare time to kill and want to know just how awful the book really fucking is like holy shit then go read up. So while I won't know everything about these "characters" and what exactly was taken straight from the book or left out I still have a pretty good idea unfortunately which just adds some extra perspective because thank god this movie isn't as fucked up as the book THANKS FOR SMALL MIRACLES SOMEONE HAD A FUCKING BRAIN WHEN MAKING THIS PIECE OF SHIT NOT AS FUCKING AWFUL AS IT REALLY COULD HAVE BEEN OH GOD NOT THE TAMPON WHY WOULD YOU WRITE THAT FOR FUCKS SAKE. 

 

Spoiler

 

Holy shit I underestimated that wow. Little long so let's just say, it wasn't very good but it was better than the fucking awful horrible book it was based on which should have never gotten as big as it did. I can't understand how anyone can find anything of worth in that horrible awfulness of a book series. 

 

The book doesn't deserve this movie. This movie is garbage regardless of how much bullshit it took out of the book; there is still PLENTY of awful shit in it that just makes this movie terrible. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.  

 

 

 

 

 


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#23 tibone

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Posted 18 August 2016 - 08:51 AM

Well, i never thought i would say this. But i actually enjoyed reading about The Internship.

I hated the movie as much as you.

But i actually laughed reading your review.


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Can you Jam with the Console Cowboys in the Cyberspace ?

 


#24 munzadeth

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Posted 18 August 2016 - 09:04 AM

oh man so excited!! can't wait to read this  B)


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#25 Demonstray

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Posted 18 August 2016 - 12:47 PM

MVT3K might be my new way to truly experience movies without seeing them.

 

You are the diamond, and the internet is the rough.


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You don't see me going to ice cream socials and not eating ice cream and socializing.


#26 nEwT

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Posted 18 August 2016 - 01:10 PM

what is MVT3K? ;)
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Spoiler

Kain, only you can mention your mother's death and your new awesome MMX NES rom hack in one post... so condolences :( and high five :o


There's a big difference between a show being good and a shoe being enjoyable.


#27 munzadeth

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Posted 18 August 2016 - 01:23 PM

Line of the day:

 

 

 

oh look how smart we are setting up the entire story in a nice little bow and people will think this is smart therefore if I like it I must also be smart because this is smart so I like smart so, smart !

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#28 Valence

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Posted 18 August 2016 - 03:08 PM

Aw you guys are too kind  :wub:


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#29 Demonstray

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Posted 18 August 2016 - 03:39 PM

what is MVT3K? ;)

 
In the not too distant future:
the year Twenty-Sixteen
There was a guy named Valence
Not too different from you or me
 
He worked at Shizzmonic Institute
Just another face in a red jumpsuit
He did a good job spiffing up the place
BUT THE ADMINS DIDN'T LIKE HIM SO THEY SHOT HIM INTO SPAA-AACE

Spoiler

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You don't see me going to ice cream socials and not eating ice cream and socializing.


#30 nEwT

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Posted 19 August 2016 - 12:56 PM

what is MVT3K? ;)

 
In the not too distant future:
the year Twenty-Sixteen
There was a guy named Valence
Not too different from you or me
 
He worked at Shizzmonic Institute
Just another face in a red jumpsuit
He did a good job spiffing up the place
BUT THE ADMINS DIDN'T LIKE HIM SO THEY SHOT HIM INTO SPAA-AACE

Spoiler


yeah but... don't you mean MVT4K?


:P
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Spoiler

Kain, only you can mention your mother's death and your new awesome MMX NES rom hack in one post... so condolences :( and high five :o


There's a big difference between a show being good and a shoe being enjoyable.




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