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reviews movies hatred despair other things optimism?

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#31 Demonstray

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Posted 19 August 2016 - 03:57 PM

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I MADE THAT MISTAKE UNTIL JUST NOW

 

I HAVE DISGRACED YOU ALL

 

I WILL COMMIT HARA-KIRI AS OF NOW


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#32 Valence

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Posted 19 August 2016 - 04:34 PM

Might as well put the ones I did in the movie thread here so they are all in the same place. New stuff tomorrow.
 
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Watched Riddick, the third one, and didn't really like it that much.
 
Spoiler

 
Alright, I guess I had a lot more to say about this movie than I anticipated. Got away from me a bit there, sorry.
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#33 Valence

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Posted 19 August 2016 - 04:43 PM

fanboys1_zpser4vdso8.jpg
 

Addendum: Love how they ripped off the 40 Year Old Virgin poster for their shitty movie FUCKING HACK FRAUDS.

 

I watched Fanboys.
 
ha. ha. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
 
The real funny thing is I've seen this movie before, but had completely forgotten I had. I was picking out Ted 2 and Riddick when my eyes fell upon FANBOYS, and I thought, "Well, this will be a safe pick. I like The Star Wars, I like comedies and I guess I'm a fanboy with many different things ? 
 
For once in my goddamned life, my wish to abolish a terrible memory from my mind was granted, but not knowing I had seen it before means that what drew me to it in the first place would probably draw me in again, pretty much confirming that if you could go back in time to change something BUT don't retain the memory of what you wanted to change, or the change itself, YOU'RE GOING TO WATCH A REALLY SHITTY MOVIE AGAIN. 
 

Spoiler

 
Fuck this movie. I can't believe I had to suffer through this TWICE. Hopefully now others won't have to. I'm going to make dinner and watch DS9. Fuck everything.


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#34 ShawnPhase

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Posted 19 August 2016 - 04:45 PM

i think you should watch 2012 and battle los angeles if you havent yet. i watched both of em while my internet was out and damn, seriously great movies. i put em both up there with d9/elysium and pacific rim in terms of scifi movies of that ilk. maybe i liked 2012 a little more, but thats almost a 3 hour movie. a total mindfuck how realistic it is.


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#35 Valence

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Posted 19 August 2016 - 04:51 PM

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I watched You Don't Mess With The Zohan. It's not my fault; alcohol was involved.
 
It doesn't help that I will be forever curious about Adam Sandler's filmography and the trend of his movies being horribly vapid, insulting pieces of garbage. To me, at least. I realize I'm not the target audience for this and my expectations could not have been lower going into this so, really, do I have any business to complain about anything ? If you hate lemons and you keep making yourself lemonade, it's not really the lemon's fault at that point, is it ?
 
Still, with something creative you hope to see something good even if it isn't for you, or at the very least, understand why this was made in the first place. The one good thing I can say about this movie is that it's not That's My Boy. So, great I guess ? We're a notch above celebrating statutory rape, wonderful. 
 
Spoiler

 
Ugh. Watched the credits at the end to see who wrote this shit, and sure enough top billed was Adam Sandler. What a shocker. The real shock was the third writer was Judd Apatow. Wut. Now I have to wonder how much and which parts were what writer's doing. Jesus. I mean, it's obvious who wrote the scene where Sandler beat up three people like he was the fucking Flash but who could have possibly came up with the idea of his giant bulbous cock ? The world may never know.
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#36 Demonstray

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Posted 19 August 2016 - 05:05 PM

The only movies I've watched out of this thread so far have been the Sherlock Holmes films, Riddick, and Fanboys. I didn't mind Holmes, I kinda liked Riddick (as a fan of the first two films and the animated movie), but I fucking hated Fanboys.

 

That said, I can confidently make known that seeing this thread's title bolded on my computer monitor is officially euphoric to me. I've got something new and entertaining to read, and it's gonna be concise compared to most of what I read! It's refreshing. :wub:


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#37 Valence

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Posted 20 August 2016 - 09:51 PM

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It saddens me to say that I don't know which movie I disliked more this week and holy shit that shouldn't be something said when the other movie is 50 Shades of Grey, that should always win hands down but THANKS JUDD APATOW for over two hours of spousal arguments. At least this week had a fucking theme; both of these movies are about abusive relationships. I just wish I knew that ahead of time.

 

I haven't watched Knocked Up in a very long time and I'm willing to bet that I wouldn't really care for it much if I did go back and re-watch it however even in the period of time where I did like the film I hated these two fucking characters so yes good let's just have an entire movie following these two fucks and fam goodie this movie is definitely for me. It's the same reason why I can't watch Angel, because Angel is a stupid fucking character that can't love OR ELSE HE KILLS EVERYONE and Cordelia is just "the worthless hot girl" that can't take all this demon shit seriously so why should I care I was so happy when they left Buffy and they could focus on the characters that weren't complete garbage. So yeah same thing here; these two should have gotten a divorce in the first fucking movie BUT NOPE HERE WE ARE AGAIN so here we go.

 

Spoiler

 

Goddamnit, I hated this. I hated this a lot. I don't really understand where the comedy was supposed to come from in this movie but it was totally lost on me and I HATE THESE FUCKING CHARACTERS and this movie is just SOOOOOOOO FUCKING LONG it was agonizing but your mileage may vary I don't know.


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#38 ErichWK

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Posted 20 August 2016 - 10:19 PM

I will say Adam Sandler has made so many bad movies they end up having a familiar quality to them. Sandler-esque, if you will. Like the last Ghostbusters movie was Sandler-Esque to me. You don't mess with the ZoHan is pretty bottom of the barrel garbage
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#39 Valence

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Posted 23 August 2016 - 07:15 PM

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Well, shit...
 

I don't really know a lot about Amy Schumer. I'm unfamiliar with her stand up or her show (she has a show right ?) or other film projects (has she been in other stuff I have no idea) so I pretty much came into this movie blind. All I knew was that John Cena was in it and it was a "comedy" so that's pretty much all I needed to know. Plus people were talking about it over in the Movies thread and I had access to a copy so might as well throw my hat in the ring and give my two cents. 

 

Spoiler

 

I find it hilarious that all the good sources of comedy came from the sports stars and not the comedians. For the most part, I fucking hated this movie, however I would still recommend it for John Cena and LeBron James alone. Bill Hader isn't terrible either but his character isn't supposed to be that comedic to begin with. At least there were a few good points here and it wasn't all a complete waste even though dear god I hated a lot of this ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  


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#40 munzadeth

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Posted 25 August 2016 - 05:45 PM

so goddamn good.  keep em coming!  Do you have a blog? you need a blog


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#41 Valence

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Posted 26 August 2016 - 12:35 AM

i think you should watch 2012 and battle los angeles if you havent yet.

 

I have already seen 2012 and I definitely do not share your perspective on it lol and Battle Los Angeles looked cool but then everyone said it was meh so I never got around to seeing it. To be honest, I would much rather see Elysium, Pacific Rim or Tom Cruise is Tomorrow Man.

 

I will say Adam Sandler has made so many bad movies they end up having a familiar quality to them. Sandler-esque, if you will. Like the last Ghostbusters movie was Sandler-Esque to me. You don't mess with the ZoHan is pretty bottom of the barrel garbage

 

The sad thing is, while Zohan is bottom of the barrel garbage, you can actually punch a hole in that barrel and dig down in the muck under that and find terrible things. So far, out of all the films that I have seen, That's My Boy is the worst. 

 

I'm gonna say that I enjoyed This is 40, but that was after the last Judd Apatow offering I'd seen was Funny People, which was so hideously depressing that I laughed at anything in This is 40 was shocking to me. I don't think I'll see it again just because I think many of its themes would not resonate with me at this point in time, and I do recall being endlessly frustrated at some of the shit decisions these people made.

 

Haha yeah, that's totally understandable. Funny People is 3 hours of misery.

 

so goddamn good.  keep em coming!  Do you have a blog? you need a blog

 

Nah, no blog or anything. I guess I could but ionno lol. 


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#42 ShawnPhase

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Posted 26 August 2016 - 12:42 AM

yea do pacific rim sometime. both that and elysium to me are better because they more concise, maybe i dug how drawn out 2012 was. battle los angeles was notable because the aliens were so nasty...maybe in terms of what these movies try to do, that one was the easiest to watch if you have the time. sorta like predator meets the aliens or something. but its also really long. certainly worth a watch but check out elysium first, its probably the nicest looking movie of any of this type.


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#43 Valence

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Posted 27 August 2016 - 06:34 PM

justgowithit1_zpsjksyyqzo.jpg

Hey, remember Fanboys and how I forgot that I had seen the movie and then watched it again just to get mad at myself forgetting about seeing that piece of garbage WELL IT HAPPENED AGAIN. Good thing I pretty much forgot everything except no, even if by some miracle that this movie was wiped clean from my mind IT WOULDN'T HAVE MATTERED because this movie is just so goddamned predictable I'm pretty sure everyone would think they had seen this movie before so let's just sit through it again and drown in sorrow. 

 

Anyone else hate the title of the movie as much as I do ? It literally sounds like they came up with that in the board room discussing even making this piece of shit with people saying JUST GO WITH IT so many fucking times that they just decided HEY, LET'S CALL IT THAT HAHAHAH THIS MOVIE IS TERRIBLE AND IS JUST A FUCKING EXCUSE FOR THESE FUCKERS TO GO ON VACATION TO HAWAII OR SOME SHIT. OH AND THEY SAY THE TITLE OF THE MOVIE THREE FUCKING TIMES IN THE FILM HEY WE GOT IT JUST GO WITH IT DON'T WATCH SOMETHING ELSE JUST GO WITH IT AND WATCH JUST GO WITH IT.

 

Spoiler

 

Goddamn this movie was terrible, again. Funnily enough, this movie is a remake of the 1969 movie "Cactus Flower" starring Walter Matthau, Ingrid Bergman and Goldie Hawn and that movie was adapted from a Broadway play AND THAT ONE was adapted from the 1964 French play Fleur de Cactus so thanks Pierre Barillet and Jean-Pierre Gredy, you are the reason this shitty fucking movie exists because you just had to go and write a play, didn't you, look what you've set into motion LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY WITH YOURSELVES. 


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#44 3ngag3

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Posted 27 August 2016 - 11:02 PM

So much rage and I love it.


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#45 nEwT

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Posted 29 August 2016 - 11:24 AM

is this the Angry Motion Picture Nerd?
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Kain, only you can mention your mother's death and your new awesome MMX NES rom hack in one post... so condolences :( and high five :o


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