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reviews movies hatred despair other things optimism?

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#76 Valence

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Posted 02 May 2017 - 02:14 AM

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So...yeah...

Look, I already know I'm pretty much going to be alone on this, and I just want to first apologize to everyone for this being the movie that bumps this thread; I doubt much enjoyment will be gained from reading it because I already went back and forth on doing this to begin with at the time of viewing, mainly because it was later in the evening and I didn't want to spend my entire night doing a write up (HAHAHA FUTURE ME HERE TELLING PAST ME TO GO FUCK HIMSELF) of it and the fact that it wouldn't be very entertaining because, I'm pretty much alone on this, so I canned the idea and just stated in the Disney Owns Star Wars thread that I didn't like it, which led to Frink asking the question of "why," and instead of spending an hour answering there I might as well add another two or three or four or five or six to that and do it sort of proper with all the other movies I've done here, for this sad, depressing revival of this thread. Sorry. Kinda weird that I haven't seen a movie since November of last year !?!? Jesus.

 

Spoiler

 

So, to recap, I didn't like the story and I found the characters to be boring and rather flat. Too many characters acted in conflicting ways or were just outright stupid. The movie is also poorly paced and boring in general and rather long. The first hour is tedious and yeah, the final battle is cool if you like what they did with it, but obviously, that is not the case for me. There were some good things about this and I can give them props for trying something different but this is a big miss for me. Those last two minutes were just terrible. The CGI heads were terrible. Some characters just didn't need to be there. I'm obviously not knocking anyone for liking it either, that would be dumb, but this movie pushed all the wrong buttons for me. I wanted something with some heart in it, some life, some earned levity and some more humanity, a connection between the characters. If it did it for you, that's awesome; it just didn't do it for me, because when I saw the last shot of the film, I was both enraged and happy at the same time; one of those I HATE THIS and I LOVE THIS moments. I was crying because I was laughing with that tinge of genuine Star Wars joy, but then those turned into sad tears, because I realized that I didn't like it at all, that those negatives far outweighed the positives and I felt really bad about that. Now I need to get something to eat and pass out into a coma.

 

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.     


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#77 nEwT

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Posted 03 May 2017 - 09:10 AM

in b4 moon's "you just wasted your time revieweing something we liked months ago and have since moved on" post

<3
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Spoiler

Kain, only you can mention your mother's death and your new awesome MMX NES rom hack in one post... so condolences :( and high five :o


There's a big difference between a show being good and a shoe being enjoyable.


#78 munzadeth

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Posted 03 May 2017 - 09:32 AM

I'm happy to see this thread bumped any time, for any reason.


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#79 Valence

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Posted 03 May 2017 - 02:58 PM

Still waiting for Armageddon or Big Trouble in Little China.

 

It's a little sad that all you have to do is mention "Armageddon" and you get that damn Aerosmith song instantly stuck in your head. 


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#80 Demonstray

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Posted 03 May 2017 - 04:32 PM

AH DOHNWANNACLOOHHHHZE MA-AAAAAAAHZ


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You don't see me going to ice cream socials and not eating ice cream and socializing.


#81 Disposable Hero

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Posted 03 May 2017 - 05:15 PM

I don't agree, but I support MVT4K in every way.

Still waiting for Armageddon or Big Trouble in Little China.

Are you suggesting Big Trouble in Little China is a movie someone can hate? Rubbish, sir!


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Put some South in yer mouth.

#82 nEwT

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Posted 04 May 2017 - 06:19 AM

Maybe I was at the right age (11 years old) when it came out and now nostalgia clouds my judgement, but I really like Armageddon. Yeah it is dumb and over the top, but very entertaining. All the other Bay movies only satisfy the first two adjectives.
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Spoiler

Kain, only you can mention your mother's death and your new awesome MMX NES rom hack in one post... so condolences :( and high five :o


There's a big difference between a show being good and a shoe being enjoyable.


#83 Valence

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 02:04 AM

ArmageddonTitle_zpszss6ahdv.jpg

I was a little worried when I saw the run time of the film on Netflix. I remember thinking to myself even if you hate it now, at least it'll only be 2 hours tops. It's 2 and a half hours. I don't remember it being that long.

 

I actually have very fond memories of this movie. I was in middle school and my older sister took me to go see this and I had just a grand old time. I loved this shit when I was a kid and I'm sure our VHS copy of it is floating around somewhere. One of us has to have this precious heirloom. 

 

Adult me hasn't seen this though. Adult me has never experienced it firsthand. All I had were my memories of it but those memories can betray you. I watched it as a stupid worthless kid and loved it so let's see how I feel about all this as a slightly more intelligent worthless adult. 

 

Oh and if it isn't in your head already, HERE YA GO ! WELCOME TO MY MIDDLE SCHOOL DANCES MOTHERFUCKERS.

 

 

Spoiler

 

I loved this movie when I was younger and I still kinda love it now. This wasn't nearly as bad as I feared it was going to be, not by a long shot. This rides that perfect line of being a so-bad-it's-good film while also being a perfectly fine and fun movie in it's own right. It's somehow both. You can choose to just not take it seriously too and laugh at how dumb it is while still enjoying the myriad of set pieces and montages and action that the movie will throw at you. Honestly, this is the best Michael Bay movie, hands down, for me. Most of his horrible stereotypes are absent, especially those revolving around women among other minorities and has good characters with some especially good performances that go from laughably bad to genuinely good; characters that feel like human beings that had a solid connection with each other and that you can care for and get behind and have some fun with unless they die in a horribly violent fashion. The action was good and shot well too. I also like Aerosmith's music (except that Come Together cover, just no) and even like I DON'T WANT TO MISS A THING. It's so wonderfully cheesy.

 

I had a blast watching this film again. Regardless of whether or not I was enjoying it for the "right reasons" at any particular time, it was still enjoyment nonetheless. Even if that fun came at laughing at the absurdity of it all or at one of the many stupid moments peppered all throughout the film, it had me running the full gamut of emotions all the way up until the end when I was laughing hysterically and genuinely sobbing at the same time.   


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#84 kareshi

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 08:44 AM

A+++++ thanks
10/10 had enough explosions

GET THE BOOK
GET THE BOOK
GET THE BOOK
GET THE BOOK
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Reading: "Don Quixote" by Cervantes

#85 nEwT

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Posted 12 May 2017 - 12:40 PM

thank you for that Valence, I enjoyed reading that as much as I enjoyed watching the movie back in 1998 haha
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Spoiler

Kain, only you can mention your mother's death and your new awesome MMX NES rom hack in one post... so condolences :( and high five :o


There's a big difference between a show being good and a shoe being enjoyable.


#86 Valence

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Posted 01 June 2017 - 12:05 AM

TwinPeaksFWWM_zpsxkn5rw2v.jpg

I'm sorry Daemon...I'm so sorry, I swear, one of these days, it will happen.

 

BUT NOT TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY ! Needless to say, I've been on a Twin Peaks kick since the soon-to-be released season 3, having never seen any of the show before, and the original plan was to have everything watched before the premier and I destroyed the first two seasons in just a handful of days but hit a snag and failed to meet the deadline because I couldn't stream the movie so I had to buy it and wait for it to get here. Oh well. It's not like the new season is going to disappear or something; I'll get to it when I can (AS SOON AS I CAN HOLY SHIT I NEED IT IN MY BRAIN). 

 

I'm just glad that this movie finally gave me some much needed answe- ahAhAHAHAHAHAHHHAAHHAHAHA god no I'm so fucking confused. I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too fucking dumb for this, holy shit. 

 

Spoiler

 

So yeah, in the end, I actually really liked this movie. It has it's problems and it definitely depicts some truly awful shit and I can totally understand why a lot of this would be off putting to people, but it is very engaging and incredibly well done, even if I am too stupid to understand what is going on. Sheryl Lee's performance as Laura Palmer is absolutely stellar with solid performances across the board with a great musical score by Badalamenti. It obviously would have been better with more Agent Cooper and it really only answered a few questions, but again, I'm not the smartest when it comes to these things so I can't really blame them for that one. That's on me. Definitely really excited for the new season and can't wait to watch it.  


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