Yeah, Demonstray gave you a dumb a shitty review, but look what he wrote about Hat's 1st place entry. Like, he obviously just wore headphones, turned them up too loud, and then turned the treble way up on his listening EQ, then complained a bunch. Don't worry about it.
Tru (my listening EQ is usually flat but the rest is basically accurate because I had to listen to these in multiple sittings on a crowded bus on my way home at 6 a.m.)
ALSO have you guys heard my like first...three, four, five...six...seven DoD entries, and onward indefinitely into the present? Good LORD they're painful. So painful that I will make you work just that extra bit to find them, so you will have worked for your own pain. Absolute MIDI nonsense and learning guitar AND recording AND production AND editing on the fly.
So yeah, don't give up just because I shat on your entry. I got at least a couple of last places WITHOUT singing on entries, and the VGM scene (myself included) is especially unkind to non-industry VGM singers. Take it as a challenge: if you manage to get above last place next entry, it'll mean that you're improving much more quickly than I am. Even if you don't get above last place in the next 3 or 4 entries, you've gotta consider the handicap built into your entries. Your entry isn't "bad -x.x", it's "average -x.x, subtracting people's personal preferences", or "below average -x.x etc", which are arbitrary to begin with but starting points nonetheless.
Anyway, onward to actual constructive advice: I noticed huge improvements in the confidence of your voice between your DMC3 entry and this one, and the audible confidence has in turn improved the overall quality of your voice significantly. Keep that up! Three things I'd like you to keep an eye on: pitch, timing, and dynamics. You've got a great knack for vibrato, so try to keep in that groove while you improve on these other things. With regards to your pitch, it's off by enough here and there that it does become more than just a nitpick, but you'll be glad to know that you succeed in making it known to the listener just what notes you were going for, so you're already on the right track. I'd say part of the pitch problem stems from the dynamics issue, but I'll talk about that in a sec. Your timing is good for the most part, with the occasional struggle to get the right part of the syllable out on time (words like "sight" feel like the S lands on beat and the I lags behind when it should be the one emphasized, for example), but that's my only complaint there. Now, with dynamics, I notice a desire to stick with a certain sound in your voice, kind of a grungy but strong output, which works well mostly! The problem is that sometimes when you shift or slide between notes, you lose some of the strength and it comes across a bit awkwardly, as well as occasionally losing ground both dynamically and musically when you sustain notes or try to end words. What might help would be to experiment with STARTING the notes with that same strength, but loosening up a bit in the middle of most words. Dropping some of the grit and weight in your voice, and just letting the air carry your voice until the end of the stanza. I wish I could say something that makes more sense, but for some reason that sounds right to me.
If you have more questions, or if something I've said makes no sense and you'd like me to elaborate, go ahead and shoot me a message or reply here, either way I'll respond! I'm no good as a singer, but I've learned some neat tricks that I'd like to put into practice someday!