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Embarrassing Moments of your life that Haunt you to this day.


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#61 MegaMatt

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Posted 14 May 2018 - 10:37 AM

My mom caught me fucking my giant teddy bear when I was 4 or 5 peen out and all.  I didn't know what a vag was at the time so I was aiming for the belly button.  She grabbed it and threw it down the stairs to the basement immediately.  My sex life was off to a great start.

 

I was around the same age but I had a stuffed dog. Not sure if I was ever caught outright but I'm sure they suspected something after a LOT of close calls.


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#62 DiscountBabyJam Mike

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Posted 14 May 2018 - 10:40 AM

The year was 2001 and for some reason I really liked the recently released single by Saliva, "Click Click Boom."  I went to my local mall to the newly re-branded f.y.e. (formerly The Wall) and picked up a copy of Saliva's second album, Every Six Seconds, which contained the single. We did have a PC in 2001 but only 28.8k dialup so I had to farm out any song downloading to friends or even worse, my second cousin (who's my mom's first cousin and actually my parents' age, so asking for any popular song or song by a vulgar/awful band would get lots of snide remarks and/or convenient "I couldn't find it on limewire" replies).

 

Anyway I got home with it and realized I didn't like any songs on the album except for Click Click Boom and quickly realized that hearing it any more often than on watching MTV at my grandma's house after school (we didn't and still don't have cable and instead had a giant 15' satillete dish, so the only channels we got were CBS, NBC, ABC, public access via antenna and you could watch HBO and Skinemax if it wasn't cloudy or windy and if hornets weren't living in the dish during the winter) was too much and became disgusted I wasted my hard earned lawn mowing/hay baling money on it. Also, one day my mom saw it lying somewhere, and of course it has that god-awful cover of a girl with extremely pink lips and a gaping maw wearing a dog collar Blingee style "SALIVA" necklace and she gave me a bunch of shit about it but I told her I was going to go trade it in anyway.

 

I took it and 3-4 other CDs back to f.y.e. to trade in for store credit and cleverly hid Every Six Seconds in the middle so I could walk away/pretend that I wasn't an idiot who bought that album and put my head down and browsed the counter-candy. However, the cashier had laid all the CDs out like a deck of cards to announce their trade in amounts and definitely lingered on the Saliva disk. I think I spent my store credit on "God Hates Us All" by Slayer the week it came out so I really did make a series of bad decisions in regards to ever liking new and popular things in 2001.


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rushing into a Success nest

 

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#63 Sindra

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Posted 14 May 2018 - 10:45 AM

Lets see, there was the time I nearly burnt down my office at work because I'd put ashes from our fireplace in a plastic (yup) bucket, left them by the door to take them out when I went on lunch, forgot to, then came back from lunch to the place filled with smoke and the one wall smoldering....including the electrical socket, which no doubt would have made things 100x worse had the wiring caught. Fortune smiled upon my dumb ass that day in that nothing major ignited and the FD didn't need to be called. Just the wall panels and socket needed to be replaced and the whole place smelled like smoke for 3 weeks.

 

My co-workers kept the half-melted bucket for the longest time as a sort of trophy to my idiocy & shame.


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I'm imagining Ellis writing the script to this at a computer, and every time he gets to the end of a line about religion being bad he smacks his fedora to tip it, making the sounds of a typewriter being reset.

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#64 Guy In Rubber Suit

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Posted 14 May 2018 - 12:47 PM

When I was like 13 years old, I visited my family up in Idaho. My uncle took me and my cousins to the lake to go fishing. On the pier, I had cast of my line but accidentally caught a kid in the lip. I was pretty horrified by it and I think I was more upset than the kid was. 

Also, this was a couple years ago at a friend's bad ass bachelor party; I nearly stabbed the groom's (my friend) foot with a katana after I had sliced a water bottle in half and the sword slipped my grip. Don't worry, we were just drinking a lot and had swords and bows and arrows. It was fun.


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#65 theDude.

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Posted 15 May 2018 - 10:25 AM

I've decided I'm not yet prepared to deal with this level of shame.

Edited by theDude., 15 May 2018 - 12:50 PM.

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#66 ErichWK

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Posted 15 May 2018 - 10:57 AM

Edit out
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#67 Shoe

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Posted 15 May 2018 - 01:13 PM

Booooo. You didn't feel shame for easily over half of those. 


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Wizwars, about the bush hogging. Just wet and part my man. Give that bush the Moses treatment and head for the Promised Land.

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#68 Spookmeister C

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Posted 15 May 2018 - 01:16 PM

Share or die. Those are the rules.


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#69 theDude.

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Posted 15 May 2018 - 01:17 PM

I felt shame for exactly four of them.

 

And then I remembered my wife doesn't know about most of them, and we're going out drinking with Creeper on Friday. It was a recipe for a shamesplosion.


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#70 mig50

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Posted 15 May 2018 - 01:21 PM

i read them, committed them to memory, and will shame you nonstop next time i see you, you badboy.
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you mean you forgot cranberries too?

#71 MegaMatt

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Posted 15 May 2018 - 01:31 PM

Good thing I didn't +1 him immediately. The rest of you must feel like a bunch of jackasses now


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#72 the Wozz

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Posted 15 May 2018 - 01:53 PM

I +1'd the edit.


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#73 Ken Oh

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Posted 15 May 2018 - 01:58 PM

I want a +1 refund.
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#74 nEwT

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Posted 15 May 2018 - 02:08 PM

I want a +1 refund.


I was able to enjoy it pre-edit so my +1 still stands. He'll have to refund the $10k tho.
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Kain, only you can mention your mother's death and your new awesome MMX NES rom hack in one post... so condolences :( and high five :o


There's a big difference between a show being good and a shoe being enjoyable.


#75 ErichWK

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Posted 15 May 2018 - 02:58 PM

I will say they were top tier embarrassing and now i wanna party The Dude even more


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I play drums, Make Video Games, and eat Hamburgers.




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