26676 replies to this topic

[chronolever]

I need to work on sealing the deal when it comes to GIRLS! Today at clinical, my instructor pointed out that there was a cute nursing student who kept checking me out, or so he says. I did catch her a few times looking at me. I would smile at her and she'd smile back. If I hadn't been so busy I should have went over and got her number. Oh well, nice morale booster. Better luck next time!

[the Wozz]

That is also a problem of mine. The ego boost is nice, though.

[Shervz0r]

I need to work on sealing the deal when it comes to GIRLS! Today at clinical, my instructor pointed out that there was a cute nursing student who kept checking me out, or so he says. I did catch her a few times looking at me. I would smile at her and she'd smile back. If I hadn't been so busy I should have went over and got her number. Oh well, nice morale booster. Better luck next time!

Aw man, c'mon, just walk up and talk to her after the clinical session! Do you think you'll be able to see her again? Invoke Charger mode!

[Eric Dude]

I need to work on sealing the deal when it comes to GIRLS! Today at clinical, my instructor pointed out that there was a cute nursing student who kept checking me out, or so he says. I did catch her a few times looking at me. I would smile at her and she'd smile back. If I hadn't been so busy I should have went over and got her number. Oh well, nice morale booster. Better luck next time!

Aw man, c'mon, just walk up and talk to her after the clinical session! Do you think you'll be able to see her again? Invoke Charger mode!

Yeah, and I wouldn't even have it in your mind to get her number. Just go talk to her without any sort of plan and it should go just fine. YOU'RE A FUCKIN DOCTOR MAN GO GET IT!

(I know you're not actually a doctor, but close enough for me)

[chronolever]

Hopefully I'll get to see her again. I'll keep an eye out for her on Monday!

[the Wozz]

On friday, I was hanging out with an attractive class mate of mine, and we were both talking about how we are both bad at "closing the deal."

We both went home alone. I wish I could +1 myself. Just this once.

[Jace]

Another chapter relevant to the interests of this thread closed for me this weekend.

I'm so glad to have my Shizz family. I'll probably write a lot more later.

[cetera]

we are here for you!

[juef]

What cetera said. I'd be glad to listen / provide distraction / help in any way possible!

[the Wozz]

Another chapter relevant to the interests of this thread closed for me this weekend.

I'm so glad to have my Shizz family. I'll probably write a lot more later.

<3

[cetera]

does spoilering keep google from making this text super obvious?

Spoiler

i would like to pose a philosophical idea to the shizz.

my girlfriend oft expresses to me that the girls i've dated, herself included, are unattractive to her. she asks me why i do this.
she seems genuinely perplexed as to why i would settle for someone like herself, who she sees as physically ugly.
while i believe she is being honest about her self-image, i also know that she wants me to not agree about it openly. so the conversation can never really progress from there. and her question goes partially unanswered.

but privately, and publicly on the internet x_X, i concede her point, albeit with stipulations. in my shallowest moments, i think i've never really gotten better than a 5 in terms of looks alone.

please don't give me flak for even going there, because i do know that looks aren't everything. but more importantly, i think that talking like i am is an important precedent that needs to be set for humanity in general. it seems that only frat boys and playaz are allowed to talk about the hotness levels of the girls they "pull." whereas others treat it as the ultimate taboo. and everyone in-between is just uncomfortable with the subject. and yet it's something most of us deal with: the limit of physical attractiveness that you can attract.

returning to looks not being everything, i'd like to emphasize that because it is essentially the glue that keeps our society from falling apart. most men will never be with a 10 bodily. but fortunately for most men, this means they will experience more meaningful relationships because, and here is another uncomfortable generalization, the farther you get from a 10 bodily, the better chance you have of having 10 mentally.

i very much enjoy living my life and dating a girl that makes me happy in a plethora of ways. and yet i still desire the feeling of walking into a room and having all the guys be jealous of me. please note my neutrality in expressing this desire, because it is not a burning passion, but merely a dark cavern of my mind that won't go away.

your counter-argument will be that you have had this very thing i speak of and it was nice, but in the end it was hollow and you're better off with "normal" girls. i accept that idea, but i also submit that i know several people that i respect who have had 10s and lost them. they are happy now, but they also admit to missing it, sometimes to the point where it creates dissatisfaction in their current relationships, or keeps them from accepting new people's love because they know they had better-looking mates in the past. another point i want to make is that the seeking of physical attractiveness is one of the main instincts that men have when it comes to searching for partners. it's a hard-wired behavior that we need to consciously learn to suppress in order to function in society.

here are some variables that i believe are relevant. i believe i could have a better looking woman one or more of the following were true:
1. my own physical features were "better"
2. i had the ability to hypnotize women with my words and actions
3. i had more money (an assertion sure to offend, but imo, highly provable although not without sadness to follow)
4. i lived in a location/situation where the supply of and regular interaction with hot girls was much higher.

those were in order of descending difficulty. by upgrading my life either through hardcore schooling or fortune via the arts, i could achieve numbers 3 and 4 and find myself in a situation where i have options that just didn't exist before. to me this is huge. accepting this simple truth weakens all of our relationships' foundations: everyone has to settle at least a little at some point.

so i return to my girlfriend's question, and the only honest answer i can give is, i love you for who and what you are, but i am also open to something better.

what do you guys all think of this?

[Juggs69]

does spoilering keep google from making this text super obvious?

Spoiler

i would like to pose a philosophical idea to the shizz.

my girlfriend oft expresses to me that the girls i've dated, herself included, are unattractive to her. she asks me why i do this.
she seems genuinely perplexed as to why i would settle for someone like herself, who she sees as physically ugly.
while i believe she is being honest about her self-image, i also know that she wants me to not agree about it openly. so the conversation can never really progress from there. and her question goes partially unanswered.

but privately, and publicly on the internet x_X, i concede her point, albeit with stipulations. in my shallowest moments, i think i've never really gotten better than a 5 in terms of looks alone.

please don't give me flak for even going there, because i do know that looks aren't everything. but more importantly, i think that talking like i am is an important precedent that needs to be set for humanity in general. it seems that only frat boys and playaz are allowed to talk about the hotness levels of the girls they "pull." whereas others treat it as the ultimate taboo. and everyone in-between is just uncomfortable with the subject. and yet it's something most of us deal with: the limit of physical attractiveness that you can attract.

returning to looks not being everything, i'd like to emphasize that because it is essentially the glue that keeps our society from falling apart. most men will never be with a 10 bodily. but fortunately for most men, this means they will experience more meaningful relationships because, and here is another uncomfortable generalization, the farther you get from a 10 bodily, the better chance you have of having 10 mentally.

i very much enjoy living my life and dating a girl that makes me happy in a plethora of ways. and yet i still desire the feeling of walking into a room and having all the guys be jealous of me. please note my neutrality in expressing this desire, because it is not a burning passion, but merely a dark cavern of my mind that won't go away.

your counter-argument will be that you have had this very thing i speak of and it was nice, but in the end it was hollow and you're better off with "normal" girls. i accept that idea, but i also submit that i know several people that i respect who have had 10s and lost them. they are happy now, but they also admit to missing it, sometimes to the point where it creates dissatisfaction in their current relationships, or keeps them from accepting new people's love because they know they had better-looking mates in the past. another point i want to make is that the seeking of physical attractiveness is one of the main instincts that men have when it comes to searching for partners. it's a hard-wired behavior that we need to consciously learn to suppress in order to function in society.

here are some variables that i believe are relevant. i believe i could have a better looking woman one or more of the following were true:
1. my own physical features were "better"
2. i had the ability to hypnotize women with my words and actions
3. i had more money (an assertion sure to offend, but imo, highly provable although not without sadness to follow)
4. i lived in a location/situation where the supply of and regular interaction with hot girls was much higher.

those were in order of descending difficulty. by upgrading my life either through hardcore schooling or fortune via the arts, i could achieve numbers 3 and 4 and find myself in a situation where i have options that just didn't exist before. to me this is huge. accepting this simple truth weakens all of our relationships' foundations: everyone has to settle at least a little at some point.

so i return to my girlfriend's question, and the only honest answer i can give is, i love you for who and what you are, but i am also open to something better.

what do you guys all think of this?

I have no opinion on how "hot" or not you are, but it sounds like you've been with women that are making you believe that you're a lot more attractive than them. Have you ever been with a woman that MADE you feel like you were lucky to be dating her?

I'm wondering if you'll ever be satisfied. You've probably been with a girl that most people would kill to be with (only looks considered) but you just never knew it.

Also, read the paragraph that starts with "Beauty and Choosing a Mate". Research suggests that people generally choose mates with a similar level of attractiveness.

Mating

[Beef-Clef]

It's not about finding someone that other people would consider a 10, it's about finding a 10 for yourself, even if most other people wouldn't consider that person a 10. No matter how widely accepted it may be that so-and-so person is attractive, be it a supermodel or actor/actress or whatever, no person is going to be attractive to everyone. For instance, a lot of guys like women with a little extra weight. Tastes are as varied as looks. Once you do find someone that is a 10 in your mind, you'll feel that men are or SHOULD be jealous of you, even if in actuality they aren't.

[cetera]

does spoilering keep google from making this text super obvious?

Spoiler

i would like to pose a philosophical idea to the shizz...

Also, read the paragraph that starts with "Beauty and Choosing a Mate". Research suggests that people generally choose mates with a similar level of attractiveness.
Mating

thanks for linking to that article, i've been enjoying reading a number of things on these subjects today.
here is one i found actually poignant http://www.thedailyb...ood-enough.html

Have you ever been with a woman that made you feel like you were lucky to be dating her?

i have not.
that fact is what brought this on.
i submit that i've never even had the option of dating a girl that makes me feel that way.
these women just aren't in my life. i don't encounter them in my every day. they seem to live in a different world than mine. obviously i see very attractive women often enough, but they are always behind some kind of barrier. like in another car on the road. or serving me at some restaurant. or they are much more expensive-looking than me with a bunch of other very expensive-looking women/men going into a high-class club.

my feeling is that a man can't usually get a woman that it's obvious he's lucked-out on, because the woman knows this too. a woman rightly does not want to feel like she's settled, either. so your only bet in the game of love is to find someone of lesser or equal value. but equal value proves to be elusive for men, because women hold the sex card, plain and simple. a woman might not be all that, but if she is hot, she has way more options than her male equivalent.

It's not about finding someone that other people would consider a 10, it's about finding a 10 for yourself, even if most other people wouldn't consider that person a 10. No matter how widely accepted it may be that so-and-so person is attractive, be it a supermodel or actor/actress or whatever, no person is going to be attractive to everyone. For instance, a lot of guys like women with a little extra weight. Tastes are as varied as looks. Once you do find someone that is a 10 in your mind, you'll feel that men are or SHOULD be jealous of you, even if in actuality they aren't.

this is sage advice to be sure. and this is how i am living. but the problem is that my hand seems to have been forced.

i think it's unrealistic to expect the average man to completely forget about certain ideals, even if they are a pipe-dream or overrated.
some men like this or that quirk, but look at me: i do like models and generically pretty women. i must be a freak in the eyes of modern people. i've had women tell me that i will never land such a woman. i feel like men are being lambasted for listening to their bodies when it comes to what we want in women. nature programmed us to want someone fit, and with symmetrical features. it's not a barbie fetish or an implanted thing to sell magazines. these are the features that tell animals that their children will be strong. that's it, and i'm proud to be a part of it.

[Juggs69]

People like what they like-kudos for being honest w/yourself. Again though, everything is subjective & once you're really in love, the grass won't be greener on the other side.

Have you tried online dating? That is a pretty good way to expand your dating pool.