At the risk of sounding like a dick -
i feel like i'm teaching her lessons. and the stuff thats happening is normal and if i just stick it out, and deal with each thing as it comes by openly discussing my feelings, then she could learn and grow and become a great person with my help.
Do you want to be this chick's father, or her boyfriend? Cause right now you sure as hell aren't the latter.
You've been posting drama about this chick from the get-go. This shit's never gonna change as long as you're with her. I admit I got kind of an off-vibe from her when you let me crash at your place last Feb, and pretty much everything you've posted confirms that vibe. I can understand if there's issues in a relationship that you feel you need to work out on YOUR OWN end of things - I've spent more than one all-nighter pondering near-philisophical topics regarding relationships (''I can't REALLY fault her for this because the onus is on me due to xyz'' etc) - but your last post is kinda the opposite of that. It's not your responsibility to make her ''become a great person with your help'', and if you're only in this relationship because you're waiting for this magical future moment to come where she will suddenly grow up...Might wanna rethink it, dude :/
Also RE: Parents - totally surprised to see so many people have this much of an issue with their SO's parents. I can understand if their parents were assholes or whatever, but once a week doesn't seem that bad to me. None of my previous (or current) interests' parents have been the most fun people in the world, but by that same token, it's not the end of the world to spend a few hours with them, either. I have dinner with my dad and my brother every Sunday. I dunno, maybe it's cause most of you guys discussing this have a good 8+ years on me, but if nothing else, you could take the selfish route - free meal cooked for you every week.