[xoc]

Noah and I took turns writing these over e-mail at our office jobs. This is only a small selection of some of the best.
http://www.myspace.c...hebuttfuxtables

SOCK A LIVING TURKEY
Sock a living turkey / Do the hurkey jurkey
Do the mashed potato while u kick a panda's ass
Bananaramareavement / Tell a deer good evening
Turn around & take a shit and then just walk away

VADER IN A CAR
Darth Vader in a car!!! / Darth Vader in a car!!!
Darth Vader gettin’ sideways! / Vader in the car
Darth Vader doin wheelies in JACKED UP CAR!
wheelie master wheelie master VADER IN A CAR!!!

AXL COMPLETED IN HIS PANTS
I’ve completed / Supplies Depleted
For the making of another red haired asshole
I do the dance / of completion in my pants
Swaying to and fro to my own issue’s carol.
mysterious the foam that comes from axl’s saxophone
Slash sets fire to his axe by Axl’s geyser sack.

DANNY DEVITO WITH JAMES BROWN HAIR
Danny Devito on sped up film
Danny Devito in a fuckin sidecar
Danny Devito goes crazy berserk
Danny Devito running into walls on purpose
I’m wild, I’m wild, I’m wild and bonkers for Danny Devito
I’m a real gone dude with a Danny in my mood
Taking Quaaludes with a Devito attitude
Devito deleto Louis Armstrong’s pant torpedo
Owen’s friend Larry likes Axl’s pant completo

DRACULA HOLDING A THIRSTY-TWO OUNCER
I am scolding
Dracula who's holding
A Thirsty-Two Ouncer
Because I am the bouncer
Think again, Dracula
No outside food!
I don't care where that beverage is brewed
It's diet, you think?
Go pour it in a sink
Or dump it round the back-ula
No outside food or drink

DRACULA IN A JEEP
Picture now a Big Fat Dracula
Flippin Grilled cheese with a Dollar Tree spatula
Snow saucer snow saucer immaculate contraption
Pictured on the slopes there is no need for caption
Dracula and go carts, or driving in a Jeep
there’s no thought as funny as Drac smoking reef

CROTCH JUNKIE
Blowing big foam on the scalp on the dome
Watchin’ it grind in the animated chrome
Avocado fist keeps me from the phone
Cuz nobody’s home when you’re ridin’ the cone

INFINITE DONG
Infinite Dong / A prong that is too long
To outer space and gone / Infinite Dong
Never ending tong / Plays celestial pong
The subject of this song??? INFINITE DONG!!!

SHERYL CROW'S BUTTHOLE
Hair'll grow / on the dirty penny
Sheryl Crow / eat the bean too many
Brown love / ready willing able
Squat above / a glass coffee table

SUCK FUCK SNORT ABORT
Suck, fuck, snort, abort / Overdose in traffic court
Party hearty, smoke and joke
Throating balls until you choke
Flab, scab, poles, holes / That's how far the Kaiser rolls

TUFF HUFF
Huff gas and geesh self from pleasure
Toke a hoot of huff gas
Lift weights
Wildly kick some ass while huffing
Wildly go wild
Flail like idiot while huffing and lifting
Shit self from madness.

DRACULA SCREAMING 'HONKY' AT PEOPLE
Sunday stroll in the month of May
Dracula's drunk and has something to say
Staggering around like a three legged pooch
Dracula drunk on grandpa's hooch
"HONKY, HONKY, WHITEBRED CHICKEN SHIT!!!"
Dracula points and then falls down
Dracula calling a Chinese guy "honky"
Dracula drunk and on the town
Oh no, here's comes an East Indian
"HONKY MAN, GET THE HELL OUT OF FRONT OF MY HOUSE"
Dracula in a fit of rage

DOWNS THE CLOWN
Downs the Clown, big shoes and a hat
Downs the Clown, this way and that
Downs the Clown, the retard at the party
Downs the Clown, is a painted Billy Barty
Downs the Clown ROUNDHOUSE KICK!!!
Downs the Clown MAKES THE CHILDREN SICK!!!

DUVALL
Duvall has a walkman
Dancing to what we can't hear
Duvall sings along
Jerking from there to here
Duvall is rapping to NWA
Flailing arms and hand gun gestures
"Nobody Move..." and "and the bitch had a dick"
Then freaks out and runs into a wall
Duvall, Duvall
Bobby Dooval
Face first into the wall
Gets this fan's approval
Duvall runs a half circle with his tongue hanging out
Saying "nga nga nga ngaaah"
Then runs into the wall again and pretends to be retarded.

DUD
Dudley Moore came to town
A-ridin' on a Snow Leopard
Looking for his one true love
Liza F*cking Minelli
Why does he love her?
They look so much like the same
Why does he want her?
They look like Nathan Lane
Liza runs down the road with a burlap bag on her head
Tommy Chong chases her while hitting the bag on her head with a whiffle bat
Dud follows on a tiny bicycle gesticulating wildly and periodically putting one or the other foot down and pointing while putting his other hand on his head, he's wearing a fishing hat covered in tackle.
It's all sped up in Benny Hill's style
Dudley gets creamed by a bus and the laughter stops
Chong does a backflip and does a touchdown dance

DUDLEY MOORE WITH A GLUE GUN, CHASING RANDY SAVAGE AROUND A SOCCER FIELD, INTERRUPTING THE GAME
Randy better run Randy better run
RANDY, RUN!!
Dudley got extension cords for his glue gun
[repeat x4]

CHOPPER SIC BALLS
now he said sic 'em boy / but what I heard was
(to the tune of happy birthday)
Cyndi Lauper slips, falls
Crimestopper Lou Rawls
Double Whopper with penis
Dennis Hopper dicks dolls

[Djinnocide]

God, I love it! There's a very good chance that your myspace page will be open in my browser for the rest of the day.

[M-H]

If this is anywhere near as good as the latest Recreational Episiotomy, I'll be quite content.

[ShawnPhase]

obligatory 'dropping the cosbys off at the pool' comment

im gonna go poop now

[the Wozz]

XOC, you never cease to astound me.

[XMark]

XOC wins yet another internet.

[Paragon]

Buckwild fucker up in Applebee's
Huck a fuckin' fistful of feces, please

[cetera]

Quote

DUD
Dudley Moore came to town
A-ridin' on a Snow Leopard
Looking for his one true love
Liza F*cking Minelli
Why does he love her?
They look so much like the same
Why does he want her?
They look like Nathan Lane
Liza runs down the road with a burlap bag on her head
Tommy Chong chases her while hitting the bag on her head with a whiffle bat
Dud follows on a tiny bicycle gesticulating wildly and periodically putting one or the other foot down and pointing while putting his other hand on his head, he's wearing a fishing hat covered in tackle.
It's all sped up in Benny Hill's style
Dudley gets creamed by a bus and the laughter stops
Chong does a backflip and does a touchdown dance

this needs to be sung to the tune of christopher cross' "Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)"
PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAS

[wizardcombat]

This is what the internet is all about.

[chronolever]

Amazing...just simply amazing.

[xoc]

Noah Nelson seriously deserves half the credit for this stuff. His is more the "Danny Devito running into walls on purpose" style.

REPOST link to the first set of demos
http://www.xocmusic....ables_demos.zip

EDIT also lyrics for the demos
http://www.xocmusic.com/bttfxtbls/buttfuxt...emos_lyrics.txt

[SSS key]

Quote

Devito deleto Louis Armstrong’s pant torpedo
Owen’s friend Larry likes Axl’s pant completo

BRAVO

The assblast pic on the myspace is also a bravo

[thebeautyofgrind]

xoc, on Sep 19 2008, 01:20 PM, said:

Noah Nelson seriously deserves half the credit for this stuff. His is more the "Danny Devito running into walls on purpose" style.

REPOST link to the first set of demos
http://www.xocmusic....ables_demos.zip

EDIT also lyrics for the demos
http://www.xocmusic.com/bttfxtbls/buttfuxt...emos_lyrics.txt

BUTTFUXTABLES MP3S FTW!!! Thanks for these, I was wondering where I could find some



I just listed to these songs, sounds like Mr Xoc has been listening to a lot of Dead Kennedys!! Good deal.

[Spookmeister C]

I love it big time.

[Magicalyardgnome]

Buttfuxababules hahaha completely obvious but I'm drunk enough to post it anyway.