Snowdog

So, I basically made this thread because I wanted to bitch about making sandwiches but, as I work in a gas station, my work problems cannot not be classified as "first-world." 

I fucking hate what happens when you give people access to an ordering kiosk instead of just making them order their sandwich verbally.  Here is an example of how it sounds when someone orders a sandwich verbally at my work:

"Hi, can you make me a cold cut sub with lettuce, tomato, and onion?"

"sure, would you like any mayo or anything"

"Italian dressing if you've got it"

"Sure thing, sir!"

And here is an example of how it looks when I receive a printed ticket from the ordering kiosk:

Italian Cold Cut Sub Half

+ white sub roll

+mayo

+Italian dressing

+chipotle ranch

+hot pepper relish

+ provolone cheese

+lettuce

+tomato

+onion

+pickles

+banana peppers

+ black olives

+jalapeno peppers

+salt

+pepper

My theory?  People order shit they don't actually want on their sandwich just because it's in front of them and it's free.  I know you could make the argument that maybe they would have wanted it if they knew it was there, but I have been taking people's sandwich orders for 7 years now, and trust me, when they want something, they tell you. 

So I do my best to jam all these toppings, some of which require me to stick my gloved hand into cold juice and then drip it the fuck all over the place, onto a really poor quality sub roll that doesn't even open up all the way without breaking.  As I wrap the monstrosity in printed parchment, my heart sinks a little because I know I am responsible for a sandwich I would in no way endorse.  I just tell myself, "I'm Alan Smithee on this one.  Paycheck comes Friday."

So, it occurs to me that when I get offended because Frink suggests that conspiracy theorists are dangerous, I should ask myself why.  Am I a conspiracy theorist?

When most people say "conspiracy theorist" what do they mean?

Here's my deal:

I believe 9/11 was an inside job, but I also believe Al Qaeda actually flew planes into the buildings for the purpose of terrorism.  I just believe that Dick Cheney knew about the attacks in advance and had explosives added to the mix to increase the death/horror toll, for the purposes laid out in Project for a New American Century. 

I do not believe that a single bullet fired from the book depository killed JFK.  I have no further insight, just a barely elementary knowledge of physics that tells me "Hell fucking no would that send his head in that direction."

I recognize that the media work for their owners, and therefore have no interest in telling us unpleasant truths.

I do not believe that Newtown was staged by Obama so he could come take our guns.

I do not believe that planes were CGI animated onto our tv screens on 9/11.

So, am I a conspiracy theorist?  You tell me.

Happy birthday, Prawn Shave!!

Just wondering.

My nouns are "Geddy Lee, Black Cops, The Spanish Colonization of South America, and GOATSE."

The only Adjective I can think of is "Suspected to be linked to Al Quaeda." 

I also usually draw on the little apple dude to make him look more like the concept he's representing.  I did not do this for GOATSE.  <-------whenever my aunt draws this one, she's like "What's GOATSE?"  and I'm like "Just draw another card."

I am watching a special about Deathmasks and thinking of you    Right now they're still on Abe Lincoln.