39 replies to this topic

[chadk]

http://bouncewith.me...ope/8027043.htm

Have you been affected by the zombie strain of swine flu? You can send your experiences using the form below. You can also send your questions about the decision to raise the alert and we will send it to our health experts.

because that one time when i was a zombie i really would have liked to relfect on my feelings and experiences. and use the compute no less

[MikeyWretch]

Blocked

[chadk]

There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in London due to mutation of the H1N1 virus into new strain: H1Z1.

Similar to a scare originally found in Cambodia back in 2005, victims of a new strain of the swine flu virus H1N1 have been reported in London.

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

The World Health Organization (WHO) has raised the alert to phase six, its highest level, and advised governments to activate pandemic contingency plans.

In Mexico, the epicentre of the outbreak, President Felipe Calderon urged people to stay at home over the next five days.


CONFIRMED CASES

Mexico: 168 suspected deaths - eight confirmed - 12 zombies
US: one death, at least 91 confirmed cases
New Zealand: 13 confirmed cases
Canada: 19 confirmed cases
UK: 5 confirmed cases
Spain: 10 confirmed cases
Germany: 3 confirmed cases
Israel, Costa Rica: 2 confirmed cases each
The Netherland, Switzerland, Austria, Peru: 1 confirmed case each


Mapping the outbreak
Mexican economy squeezed by flu
Mexico: First swine flu cases
Africa awaits two swine flu tests
There are many cases elsewhere - including the US, Canada, Latin America, Europe, Israel, and New Zealand.

BBC health correspondent Mark McGrith says the raising of the WHO alert on Wednesday suggests a global epidemic, or pandemic, is imminent.

In the latest developments:

The Netherlands confirms its first case of zombie swine flu, in a three-year-old boy recently returned from Mexico. After passing away early this morning, he rose from the dead and lunged at his mother.
Ghana has become the latest country to ban pork imports as a precaution against swine flu, though no cases have been found in the West African country
China's health minister says that the country's scientists have developed a "sensitive and fast" test for spotting swine flu in conjunction with US scientists and the WHO. The country has recorded no incidence of the flu yet. There methods, however, have been uneffective in spotting the H1Z1 strain.
At the meeting of health ministers in Luxembourg, a French proposal for a continent-wide travel advisory for Mexico will be discussed.


SYMPTOMS - WHAT TO DO
Swine flu symptoms are similar to those produced by ordinary seasonal flu - fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, chills and fatigue
If you have flu symptoms and recently visited affected areas of Mexico, you should seek medical advice
If you suspect you are infected, you should stay at home and take advice by telephone initially, in order to minimise the risk of infection
If you feel yourself passing away, then notice your strength and vigor returning at an alarming rate, please attempt to restrain yourself to prevent infection and harm to others.


Q&A: What is swine flu?
Swine flu: How serious a threat?
Can masks help spread?
The quest for a swine flu vaccine
It is unclear whether the EU executive has the power to impose a travel ban.

Several countries have restricted travel to Mexico and many tour operators have cancelled holidays.

Other members are resisting calls to implement travel bans or close borders, on the grounds - backed by the WHO - that there is little evidence of their efficacy.

The EU ministers will also try to agree on how to refer to the new virus.

The European Commission has been calling it "novel flu", replacing the word "swine" to avoid prompting a fall in demand for pork and bacon.

On Wednesday, Egypt began a mass slaughter of its pigs - even though the WHO says the virus was now being transmitted from human to human.



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Have you been affected by the zombie strain of swine flu? You can send your experiences using the form below. You can also send your questions about the decision to raise the alert and we will send it to our health experts

[MikeyWretch]

OMFG!!

[differently biotic]

SEE!

NOW I'M FREAKED OUT...

so scared of zombies!!!!

[donald]

Prom is totally gonna be ruined due to a fucking Zombie outbreak.



dammit

[Jacki O.]

this sounds fishy to me:

"Similar to a scare originally found in Cambodia back in 2005, victims of a new strain of the swine flu virus H1N1 have been reported in London.

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

but there have been only 5 reported cases (based on the above text) and no deaths in the UK. So how do they know it restarts the human heart?


BTW http://bouncewith.me...ope/8027043.htm is a fake BBC site.

the real bbc

sorry to rain on the zombie parade

[MikeyWretch]

In reality non of this scares me cause WTF can I do about anyof it? Nothing. so Get me wasted and take my life!

[chadk]

sorry to rain on the zombie parade sad.gif

oh man, kicks dirt

[mancopter]

Gullible isn't in the dictionary.

[Rocquero]

Gullible isn't in the dictionary.

BUT ZOMBIE IS!!

[Coward Crutch]

now remember Chad....
If you feel yourself passing away, then notice your strength and vigor returning at an alarming rate, please attempt to restrain yourself to prevent infection and harm to others.

[fatguyaz]

Gullible isn't in the dictionary.

best joke ever. Thanks for bringin it back!!


FUCKIN PROM!!!!!


LETS ALL GET WASTED AND FUCK!!

[Quinn Fox]

"Son, we're immune, there's infected in the woods, and we're tired, so cut the shit and open the goddamned door!"

[sonofpatter]

Zombies in the Appalachian Mtns of North Carolina.

(Acutally me and my brother screwing around)