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That's What She Said

Started by Jacki O., Dec 28 2009 01:24 PM

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#1 Jacki O.

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Posted 28 December 2009 - 01:24 PM

Married Jonas Brother Says Sex Not Worth the Wait

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Just days after tying the knot after years of abstinence, Kevin Jonas of the pop sensation the Jonas Brothers stunned his teenaged fans by announcing that "to be honest about it, sex was not worth the wait."

"After we did it, I was kind of like, that's it?" Mr. Jonas told reporters at a New York press conference.

As to whether Mr. Jonas' bride agreed with his "that's it?" assessment, Mr. Jonas remarked, "That's what she said."

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#2 mancopter

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Posted 28 December 2009 - 01:40 PM

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God damn it, you've got to be kind.

#3 weener

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Posted 28 December 2009 - 01:53 PM

Maybe if he'd banged a bunch pre-maritally, he wouldn't be knocking banging right now.
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#4 Jacki O.

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Posted 28 December 2009 - 02:10 PM

i also want to know why he's having a press conference to discuss his marital night?!?!
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#5 weener

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Posted 28 December 2009 - 02:26 PM

Makes me seriously glad I didn't marry the guy.
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#6 capharnaum

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Posted 28 December 2009 - 02:32 PM

great another bunch of sexually incompatible
religious right, just what the world needs more of.
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#7 Rial

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Posted 28 December 2009 - 02:32 PM

I should bang this dude, then maybe he will appreciate sex with a women.
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#8 jeremx

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Posted 29 December 2009 - 08:21 AM

i believe that's what she said.. "2 minutes? that's it? that's what we waited for?"
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#9 Tony

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Posted 29 December 2009 - 08:24 AM

i believe that's what she said.. "2 minutes? that's it? that's what we waited for?"


when a 22 year old male has sex for the first time ever, it lasts waaaaaaaaaay less than 2 minutes. way less.
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#10 jeremx

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Posted 29 December 2009 - 08:25 AM


i believe that's what she said.. "2 minutes? that's it? that's what we waited for?"


when a 22 year old male has sex for the first time ever, it lasts waaaaaaaaaay less than 2 minutes. way less.


yeah.. i almost went back and changed it.. ha ha
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#11 Guest_viewfinder_*

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Posted 29 December 2009 - 09:44 AM

I suppose that what you get for marrying a Jonas bro. Lame in the sack but deep in the pockets.
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#12 weener

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Posted 30 December 2009 - 01:39 PM

I was just thinking about this, and wondering if he meant that people shouldn't wait (to have sex), or that he has little interest in trying it again.

I also had a dream last night where I was at this really fucked-up museum, and I got to eat some of this kid's wedding cake.
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#13 miss-jenny

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Posted 30 December 2009 - 02:11 PM

Wow! What a dumb ass.

He say's to the media, he say's "that's it?"

Boy, he better hope this marriage lasts. Not a whole lot of us lining up for seconds of that rave review.
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#14 chadk

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Posted 30 December 2009 - 03:23 PM

i don't think he was doing it right. but you have to start somewhere right?
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#15 differently biotic

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Posted 30 December 2009 - 03:32 PM

he wasn't doing it right. or he's full of shit.

makes me think of Jack's character in forgetting sarah marshall. hahaha

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