31 replies to this topic

[Jacki O.]

who is he?
is he for real?

zane kane - the best message therapist in the world

read his bio and his customer testimonials. they sound like they were written by a 14 year old boy.

my favorite:
My whole life I had a right shoulder problem resulting in my right arm being a noticeable amount longer than the left. After one two-hour treatment with Zane he was actually able to fix all that was wrong with my shoulder and my arms are now the same length! I didn’t think it was possible! It was definitely getting costly to get every single suit refitted for my longer arm. Now I can buy suits without any alterations. I do have to undo all the old suit sleeves that are too long.
I have and pay for that.
But that is a small price to pay for being fixed.
Thanks Zane

-Gareth



AMAZING

oh and also this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJQzhfLIg20



i kinda want to hire him but i also want to avoid being raped and murdered.........

[Katie]

I set a world record for the longest massage on one person and
I give the best massage in the world,
Guaranteed of its free!
How cool is that?!

I would send him a thank you check for creepy rape

[jeremx]

funny story.. we're talking with the adt rep at our house on friday night and after awhile we start talking about crime in certain areas and around malls and whatnot. my gf mentions having gone to massage school near metrocenter i think it was when the girl says she used to work at a lenscrafters there and knew a guy who went to the same massage school. turns out they both knew the guy. also turns out he got busted for stealing from the company and ended up moving out of state and lives in an rv on his parent's property and does massages out of the same rv. she had some pics on her phone from his facebook or something. it looked clean enough but there was plastic sheeting over the window next to the massage table. talk about creepy.

[Jacki O.]

zane's biography is possibly the best writing on the internet.

[mothrock]

I massaged him on the chiropractic table for somewhere between
ten to twenty minutes. I asked him if that was long enough to be able
to tell or not, but there was no response from him.

[mothrock]

whoa.

[jeremx]

website designed with WebSite Tonight.. ha ha

[Jacki O.]

here are some of the "benefits" listed on his page "The Benefits Of Massage Therapy" (which is like 5000 things - several of which are listed multiple times)

Regain Range Of Motion
Diabetes
Depressive Disorders
Addictive habits
Turrets syndrome
Eating Disorders
Chronic Fatigue
Fibromyalgia
Smoothly Move Blood
Fibromyalgia,
Neck Spasms,
Frozen Shoulder
Don't Want Surgery
Resource
Looking Better
Adolescents Less Aggressive
Asthmatic Children
Vagus Nerve Is Stimulated - this is not as exciting as i thought it was going to be (google it)
Just Relax
Effects From A Fall
Return To Your Life
Time To Unfrustrate
Elderly Persons
Cut Pain In Half
Arthritis
Tendinitis
Bursitis
Swollen Feet
Ankles
Sinus Problems
Vertigo
Problem Areas
Entire Body.

[Jacki O.]

hey shizz, i am saddened by your lack of enthusiasm for Zane!

i thought we could share the experience of reading his bio together, smiling at each other, LOLing, ROFL-ing (or something similar) and wink wink nudge nudge-ing each other into the wee hours.


but no.

here is a local treasure just flailing around phoenix and you dont even care.

am i the only one who googles him all the time?

google image search on the greatest massage therapist in the world:

[Jacki O.]

oh and the home alarm install suggestions thread is 2 pages?

i roll my eyes at you!

[jeremx]

oh and the home alarm install suggestions thread is 2 pages?

i roll my eyes at you!

hey!

[Jacki O.]

oh shit! i thought no one would come in here!

[mothrock]

here are some of the "benefits" listed on his page "The Benefits Of Massage Therapy" (which is like 5000 things - several of which are listed multiple times)

Elderly Persons

?

[Jacki O.]

here are some of the "benefits" listed on his page "The Benefits Of Massage Therapy" (which is like 5000 things - several of which are listed multiple times)

Elderly Persons

?

EXACTLY!

[Jacki O.]

i will never let this thread die