171 replies to this topic

[weener]

I have that guy's email address somewhere, maybe I can dig it up in my address book.

 

Edit: found it! You can also find it in this thread.

[Coward Crutch]

hope Joe is still kicking, he was solid....

[mothrock]

I just dropped him a line. If he writes back, I'll post it here. 

[unluckycharm]

This is probably Joe now (add wrinkles probably).

 

[joe.distort]

Fact: The lack of action in the General Forum makes me feel like most of the fun culture Phoenix used to have has evaporated and I don't enjoy living here as much.

Back in 2000 I used to go to Modified and see a lot of folks older than me, then they sort of disappeared. Then after several years, I was one of the older folks, and now except for being online, I have mostly disappeared. I am guessing there is another generation of bands and musicians having as much fun as I used to have, I just don't know who they are or where they play, not that I would ever have time to explore any of it. 

 

i have regretfully learned why the old people disappear...going to most shows these days isnt social anymore. i dont know who these kids are and i really have nothing to talk about with a bunch of 16-20 year olds. some of the older ones who 'know who i am'    from back in the day still talk to me, but its a lot of 'oh have you heard this new band or seen that one mutual friend we used to have?' its a weird shitty feeling. i feel out of place in the scene that used to feel like my family.

 

and also, i AM too old for a lot of that stuff. at the last real punk show i went to, an industrial trashcan, a metal toolbox, mic stands and fireworks were all thrown in the pit. im too fucking old to get smashed in the head with a tool box, i cant call in sick because i stayed up drinking til 5 with a touring band, hell the booze thing is a whole other factor to me.

 

without me drinking, those kind of undergrounf BYOB shows are a big trigger for me and it is very uncomfortable to see people in the beginning cycles of a lifestyle that i spun my wheel in for too long.

[John MFer]

Yeah, it's bound to happen to just about everyone. So many good memories to look back on. Would I do it all over again if I got to go back to that age? Yeah, definitely. Would I do it all again starting at age 36? No, probably not. I still love playing guitar and playing in a band, though. 

[mothrock]

I've always been too old to get my head smashed with a tool box. 

[joe.distort]

yeah well i used to like violence in my shows

 

ive destroyed my body, ive wrecked people, my arm has gone through windows, my head through walls, i had a bruise in the shape of a footprint on my back once, i cant jog because my ankles are useless and they constantly roll, etc etc etc. i love punk, but its definitely a young mans game (if you are doing it right)

[weener]

I don't really feel like I'm too old; I've always been the baby of the General Forum. I think a lot of it is the fact that Modified isn't doing show anymore and some of the people I was hanging out with at Trunk Space a few years ago turned into dicks, and the invites I get on Facebook went from being a genuine invitation to hang out to a bunch of lame spam from people I barely know. Maybe it just takes awhile to find out where the fun stuff moved to. I used to have to choose between fun things to do on a given night. Now I'm always at home feeling cranky that my former best bud would rather spend his life drunk than hang out with me.

[mig50]

i just don't get the idea of "being too old" for something, or even feeling weird or out of place because you don't know a lot of people at a given function or because some of your friends have moved on to other things (or disappeared altogether).

 

sure, there were some good periods where a lot of people were concentrated in a few hot spots, but there's still plenty of great things to do and plenty of great people around.  i think you just have to be willing to get out and try things, even if it means going it alone.

 

but back to the 'too old' thing: that was a really common thing i heard from shizz-type people when i first started visiting and moved out here.  people approaching 30, or in their early 30s were at that point talking about being too old to do things, or lamenting about changes, and now that i'm that age i REALLY don't understand it.  the same people are still using the same lines.

 

obviously responsibilities with family and children and such are a bigger and valid concern, and i'm not trying to say those don't take priority, but in general, it seems to kind of be the same as its always been.

 

it really comes down to mindset and balancing social life with responsibilities.  i'm not sure why i'm even typing all this out, or if i'm really getting my point across, but fuck it.

[mig50]

Now I'm always at home feeling cranky that my former best bud would rather spend his life drunk than hang out with me.

 

my 2 cents on this: you have to accept the fact that people are going to come and go in your life.  some of them will be your bestest of friends, and their leaving will be painful.  you can't stew and be sour about it for too long though.  doing that just drags you down and makes everything worse.  this is all coming from personal experience.

 

if you're just sitting around home lamenting about the good old days, its time to get out of the house and go do something new.  find new hobbies, meet new people, taste the rainbow, blah blah blah

[mothrock]

 taste the rainbow, blah blah blah

 

Ha. Exactly!

 

I don't have kids, but if I did I think I would be even more driven to make sure that they could experience elements of what I appreciate. Granted, I wouldn't my 5 year old kid downing 6 cans of sparks in an evening, but I would definitely take them to any shizz show that happens at an age appropriate venue. 

[weener]

Now I'm always at home feeling cranky that my former best bud would rather spend his life drunk than hang out with me.

 

my 2 cents on this: you have to accept the fact that people are going to come and go in your life.  some of them will be your bestest of friends, and their leaving will be painful.  you can't stew and be sour about it for too long though.  doing that just drags you down and makes everything worse.  this is all coming from personal experience.

 

if you're just sitting around home lamenting about the good old days, its time to get out of the house and go do something new.  find new hobbies, meet new people, taste the rainbow, blah blah blah

Yeah, point taken. Sometimes the frequency with which people come and go from my life makes me wonder if I'm an insufferable asshole or something. I basically have a rule that the moment someone starts treating me like shit, I cut them out of my life completely. Some other people don't do this and it makes me wonder if I should be more forgiving or something? I stopped pursuing friendships if I get the idea that a person doesn't have my back in the same why I have theirs, and kind of stopped pursuing close friendships for the most part lately.

 

Also, I really want to start inviting people over to watch movies and stuff again but our new place had a pretty sizeable roach problem until lately and I didn't really feel comfortable doing that.

 

 

meet new people, taste the rainbow

I went to a gay bar with a coworker the other night, if this counts. We don't have a ton in common but he still wanted to hang out with me once he found out I'm not really a lesbian, so I went with it.

[mothrock]

It's not like people in Phoenix aren't used to roaches. 

 

Don't you have cats? We had issues with the buggers until we go a cat, and then it wasn't so much an issue. Cats are very handy. 

[John MFer]

I remember what it was like to not have kids. I had no idea how fundamentally, completely and profoundly my life would change bringing a kid into the world. By that, I mean, I have had to completely change my entire mindset, my entire set of emotional responses to most situations, my entire worldview, the ways I spend my time, the way I live my life, all at a very core level. It's not about time management, not even in the slightest. 

 

You guys that don't have kids, you don't know, and you never will until you go through it. It's a trap. You start thinking, yeah, I could handle being a parent. Yeah, call Akbar, it's a trap you mind sets for you. If you like you life the way it is, great! Don't have kids. It's not for everyone. 

 

I do realize it's the choices I have made that have led me to where I am. Here's a good example of "too old": there's a band I dig called Intronaut playing here later this month. The show is on a Thursday and the promoter decided to stack the bill with six fucking bands. You have got to be shitting me, that shit is fucking amateur. Do you know how many sacrifices I would have to make and how many different ways I would have to rearrange my life for at least two or maybe even three full days so I can see a band play for what, 40 minutes starting at one in the morning? It's just not going to happen - and that's where the whole "too old" for something comes in. I would have done it no problem at 26 with no kids, but at 36 the hassle isn't worth it. It's not that I'm physically too old to go do it, it's that over the last 10 years I have made a series of decisions and taken on a set of responsibilities that makes going to that sort of thing too difficult to be worth it.