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Highest Reputation Content
Posted by DragonBurk on 24 September 2011 - 12:43 PM
I've known I was gay pretty much all my life and the fact that I've been repressing it for so long has finally come to a head. I didn't want to hide it anymore, I've told a lot of people. Some were surprised, some weren't. Overall things are good and I'm happy to be out with it.
What does this mean, then? I hope it doesn't mean anything. I don't want things to get awkward at gatherings or MAGfest or anything else that happens. I want things to go on as normal. And I certainly don't want anyone to feel like they can't make dick jokes or anything else around me, no sir, because those are hilarious!
Without calling anyone out, I know I'm not the only one on here who is a little left of... well, straight. So, why make a thread about it, then? Because I feel that one of the greatest things about this place is that the vast amount of experiences people have. We can all learn things that we never would have been able to learn from each other otherwise, and that's easily what I love about this place the most. If you want to share your experiences, please do.
So there it is. I think you guys are the greatest. I'm getting it out in the open because I want things to be square and honest with ya'll, not because I'm fearful of oppression or repercussion- believe me, I am LEAST concerned about the reaction from the people here than anyone else I have yet to tell so far.
Anyways, TL;DR version if you didn't read:
Posted by Kain Xiorcal on 26 January 2010 - 10:34 PM
Spoiler Tag Adventure
Revenge of Stuff
Click "Show" to begin yon game.
Ye find yeself in yon street. Obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, WEST and DENNIS."
You head North. You go through Canada and head to the north pole. There you see Team Ice. You're about to say hi to House the Grate, but you've froze to death.
- GAYME OVER -
You head South. You attempt to pass through Mexico.
- GAYME OVER -
You head East. You attempt to swim accross the Atlantic and die of exhaustion (and drowning).
- GAYME OVER -
You head West. More west. To the far, far west. Some gay cowboys shoots you.
- GAYME OVER -
Ye arrive at Dennis. Dennis Mott of Shizz fame. He asks you what's up.
Not much, and you?
Not much. Let's head to FagMest!
We shall go by plane
In the plane, the wemon flight attendant is being hot and asking you if you want something.
Some help in the bathroom wink wink.
You go in the bathroom with the HOT flight attendant.
She transforms into a manticore and eats you.
- GAYME OVER -
It asks for a password.
That didn't work. The files are encrypted, so you don't even know if the content was any good. You commit suicide.
- GAYME OVER -
Cake is a lie
The file is corrupted anyway. You flush yourself in the plane's toilet.
- GAYME OVER -
You've collected a guitar!
The plane engine blows up and it's about to crash soon.
Use a parachute
You open the parachute and throw it out of the plane's window. That didn't save you.
- GAYME OVER -
I'm gonna assume Dennis still has long hair here.
You grab onto Dennis' legs and you both jump out of the plane. Dennis starts to spin his hair, flying like an helicopter.
Underneath, you hear Ahnuld shout "RUN! GET TO DA CHOPPAH!"
Fonzy congratulates you on a safe landing.
Oops, actually, it's Spookmeister. He's carrying a guitar and tags along with you!
You make it to the city where Mag is held this year, but you have to go through a bad ghetto district to continue. What should you do?
Make a run for it
Ghetto dudes are blasting their uzis and rocket launchers on you, you're all dead.
- GAYME OVER -
Use your DS/PSP
You go on the wireless and send a message to Matsu on Facebook. Mastu's in town! In fact he's right besides you now. Sweet, he tags along! (and also has a guitar) Now?
Make a run for it
Ghetto dudes are blasting their uzis and rocket launchers on you, you're dead.
- GAYME OVER -
Dennis, Spook and yourself all hop onto Matsu's back. Ghetto dudes are blasting their uzis and rocket launchers but they all bounce off Matsu's chest. Matsu picks up a skyscraper from the background with nice paralax effects and swings it like a baseball bat, detroying the entire disctrict as well as Ohio. You're now in front of the place where Mag is held! Guy at the entrance asks for the password.
"That was last year's password!" Jason Vincion transforms into a bear and eat you.
- GAYME OVER -
With all these guitars we have, we might as well play something!
Because they're all electric guitars and there's no amp, you play like a madman so there's any semblance of volume heard, but a guitar string breaks, choping your head off and mail-ordering it to Christophe Lambert.
- GAYME OVER -
Go to the guitar shop
You go buy another guitar. Dennis is all like "oh shit I forgot to tell you I also brought a guitar! *takes it out of his hair*. You all head back to the entrance of Mag, next to the guy at the entrance. Some dude sees all the guitars and ask if you're good at it.
Charizard appears out of nowhere and slaps you with his giant penis.
- GAYME OVER -
Better luck at OCRfest instead then.
- GAYME OVER -
Dude, I have five guitars right here.
That's the password! Come in!
You all enter Magfest and a good time is had by all.
THIS STORY IS HAPPY END.
You hold Spook in front of you. He gets shot. Nice going asshole! Matsu breaks your spine in 4 places using his eyelids.
- GAYME OVER -
Out of nowhere, a manticore appear and eats all 3 of you.
- GAYME OVER -
Lots of vodka.
You're being a drunk. You wake up later in the plane engine.
Wait, while it's running?
- GAYME OVER -
How did I get there?
- GAYME OVER -
We shall go by train
The train travels back in time to 1885. Can't go to Magfest now can you? What now?
Go to the saloon
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen, aka 1885 Biff, shoots you and Dennis for NO RAISON.
- GAYME OVER -
ZZTop are having long beards and spins their guitars, killing you and Dennis for NO RAISON.
- GAYME OVER -
BUT THOU MUST!
- GAYME OVER -
Ask for a guitar solo
He starts shredding. Your head begins to melt, but he's too into it to stop. Your head asplode.
- GAYME OVER -
Posted by Prince Of Darkness on 17 October 2011 - 08:36 PM
Some of you might have heard about this already... I tried to keep it a secret but did a very shitty job about it, because I told at least half of the people on my AIM buddy list every little detail as they came along. Now for legal reasons due to the position I am in, they don't want me publicly discussing my role in the band. Well, at least the managers don't, the band members don't seem to give that much of a shit and let me take pictures with them behind-the-scenes, but at the very least, I'm going to use codenames for the band and its members (and please, do so as well...I don't want Google Alerts and shit popping up because someone in here used real names). Additionally, I'd like to keep my job, so I might have mods take this thread down after awhile so it's not just floating around. But you guys do deserve to know this, so I'm going to take the risk.
HOW IT ALL BEGAN... Unbelievably, I didn't find them doing auditions or anything. They came to me. A woman by the codename of Danyell sent me an e-mail back in April with the subject "Sans-Triberian Dorkestra." And it read:
"Hi Tony, I represent STD. We're a multi-platinum selling band. One of my colleagues found one of your videos on youtube and and sent it around the office and we all liked it. We'd like for you to call us so we can get more information from you."
So obviously I was like . She had an e-mail signature displaying the name of the touring company she worked for, and I looked it up and it appeared that it was part of the whole STD organization. So I called Danyell and she told me that during their tours they like to use backup musicians, and the backup musicians are a good way to eventually work in newer members into the show. Then she told me that they were going to send me one of their songs, and that I was to record a video of myself playing the song and send it back to them. Then they would send it to STD's big boss, story writer, lyricist and producer codename Mault O'Meal, and if he liked it, they would fly me out for a real audition. I did the video, sent it off, Mault liked it and they told me that I was going to do the audition once they started gearing up for their next tour.
A MONTH LATER... I found a playlist for one of the Winter 2010 concerts that STD did, so I started learning all of those songs. They didn't tell me to learn anything, I just wanted to impress them. It took me about a month to really get them all down solid, and this was 25-30 songs.
Then in early June, I finally got another e-mail from Danyell asking me for my address, because Mault wanted to send me some gear and a jacket. So I get this package in the mail, and it's all of STD's CDs, a couple tour programs with lots of cool artwork, and a sweet heavy black denim STD jacket.
(Which I will certainly be wearing at MAGfest censor-free)
FAST FORWARD TO MID-AUGUST... They flew me out to Florida. They've paid for everything, got me a nice hotel room, rental car and paid for my airfare. On top of that, they're paying me $200/day to do the audition, and I was down there for 3 days. I flew down Monday, expected to do the audition Tuesday, and then fly back on Wednesday. But while I was getting my rental car, there was a minor snafu and I had to call one of the managers to get it straightened out. While I was on the phone with him he said "Hey, you want to go to the studio at 8 tonight? They have a little free time." I got to my hotel and checked in, ate some food and then went over to the studio.
They had rented out an office suite and put all their stuff in it. But when I first got there, the windows and doors were all blocked out, and one of the doors had a keypad, and what I at first thought was a retina scanner, but actually was a camera. There was also a Hummer and a Mustang parked out front. So I thought "welp...I think I'm in the right place." But I was really intimidated and just stood outside waiting for someone to open the door. Eventually codename Agave Spitmann came and opened the door. Agave is STD's full-time sound guy, doing all of their recordings as well as live sound (and as a bonus, looks EXACTLY like what you'd imagine a 70's-era nerdy sound guy would look like). He told me to sit down in the lobby and that Mault was in the studio and would be out in a minute, and codename Hal Gitrelli was out and would be back soon.
I got my bass out, warmed up, tuned up... and then I hear a car pull up, a guy get out and come in the building. We walked inside and I thought he looked like Hal, plus he was wearing all dark rocker garb, but it looked like he cut his hair though he was also wearing a hat. He said "What's up, brothuh?" and walked out of sight. I nervously spat out "...not much!" Then he came back and introduced himself "Hey I'm Hal, I'm the music director." And I replied "Oh of COURSE you are! Hey man, I'm a huge fan, love your work in Megadeth. Didn't recognize you without the hair though." And he said "Oh, it's all up in the hat."
We sat down on the lobby couches and he asked my why I was there (I guess he didn't know. The managers are the ones that organize these auditions and if they only tell one person it will be Mault.) So I told him about the video and all that. Then he asked me if I knew any of their material, which I replied "Yeah, I learned your entire winter setlist." He laughed, smiled and said "Of course you did." Not in a disbelieving tone, more in a "Well that's pretty dandy" sort of tone.
Then we go into one of the office rooms where they had some small amps and a keyboard setup. Hal grabbed an acoustic guitar and started shredding some awesome Hal Gitrelli blues licks, making me start a creamery in my shorts. Then he suggests we play through the song I auditioned on, so we do, but we don't even get all the way through the song. Al stops, shakes my hand and says "That sounds awesome, man!" Then Mault O'Meal comes in the room, I repeat all the previous stated information to Mault, and then we play that same song, still not playing all the way through. Then we play a second song, which is more of a power ballad type song, but also is kinda groovy, so they used that judge my "fit in the pocket" abilities. Still didn't play all the way through. They shook my hand.
Then Mault rambles on for about an hour about many subjects like the economy, state of the music industry, music school, farmville, killing bankers, etc. He also told me that he has original copies of letters Thomas Edison wrote to a guy instructing his on how to create the wax cylinders for Edisons' phonograph. He also paused, reached into his pocket, pulled out a handful of coins and asked what my birthday was. I told him it was 1989, then he tosses me a coin from 1889. I think it's a dollar coin, and it has Queen Victoria on one side and Mephistopheles on the other (Mephistopheles is a character in one of STD's albums). And he said "Here, I hope that brings you good luck." And it resides in my wallet right now.
So he's rambling on and then stops and says, "Alright you call [the main manager guy] and tell him that you have the backup spot, and he'll fill you in on all the details." And then keeps rambling on. I'm just blown away...
THEN THE NEXT DAY I'm back at the studio because I wanted to drop off some of my albums, but instead they just invited me in anyway. I also met one of the other main STD composers codenamed Juan Olive. I also met one of STD's many singing babes, Quela Weeves, who was there working on a demo for one of their new songs. I ended up having dinner with them.
After dinner, they invited me into the studio to watch them work on music. Mault asked me if I was in any ensembles at school, and I told him that I was in the Jazz Guitar ensemble. He asked me my teacher's name, so I told him Dan. Then Mault pulls out a winter 2009 tour book, opens to his page, takes out a sharpie and writes:
To Dan, an artist can create 1000 works of art, but a teacher can create 1000 artists.
With sincere admiration,
P.S. Enclosed you will find a junk food fund, as junk food is an important part of the creative process.
Then Mault goes over to his jacket, pulls out a fat stack of cash, counts out ten $100 bills and hands it to me, and tells me "Here's for your preparation and enthusiasm, and you should give one of those to your teacher." Blown away again.
And for you Megadeth fans. As Hal was recording some of his guitars, he randomly started playing the intro riff to Holy Wars. Then he stopped, turned to me, smiled and said, "That's all you're gonna get."
The whole group is really some of the friendliest and most hospitable people I've ever met in my life. They made me feel that I was welcome in the band and that they wanted me there. Whether you like STD's music or not, just know that they're NOT the typical rockstar inflated egos. They make lots and lots and LOTS of money, but they're not arrogant about it. Imagine the friendly talkative Irish Catholic father from Brooklyn, and the friendly talkative Italian father from Brooklyn that are best friends and act like an old married couple, that's Mault O'Meal and Hal Gitrelli.
Here are group pictures I took with Mault O'Meal, Hal Gitrelli, Agave Spitmann and Quela Weeves really just to prove to you that I'm not making this shit up.
Mault, Agave, PuD, Quela
Mault, Agave, PuD, Hal
AND NOW... I'm the backup bass player for STD. It's very unlikely that I'll be playing live, but I have to learn the live show and I'm going to be rehearsing with them next week in Omaha. That's about 40 songs, including the whole previous winter setlist, but I have to relearn those songs in the two subtly different ways the West band and East band plays them. They're not allowing me to take any pictures, so I doubt I'll really come back with anything to show you guys. But they're paying me $2000 for the rehearsals and $3000 to be the backup. This means I can build a computer and buy a new guitar! SWEET!
My 3 oldest brothers bought me this new Music Man Sterling as a birthday/christmas/congratulatory gift because I need a good 4-string to play with the band. I popped a hipshot on it because STD has some songs in D:
But again, it's VERY UNLIKELY that I'll be doing anything live.
So yeah, that's the big secret I have that you guys might have heard about. I can talk about it in private and we wont need to use codenames, but DAMMIT DO NOT ASK ME FOR FREE TICKETS, BACKSTAGE PASSES OR SUPER TOP SECRET UNRELEASED MATERIAL THAT I TOTALLY HAVE RIGHT NOW because you're not getting it!
See you guys live at the local 14,000 person arena in...I dunno...2015?
Posted by donald on 13 January 2012 - 01:22 PM
2011 was not a good year for me, I have been despondent, apathetic, and anxious more than any other year I can think of. I had never had an anxiety attack in my life till 2011 and I know it wasn't as bad as some folks on here but it was still pretty fucking horrible. I've had a few now, and at least know what to expect, so that's good.
This past New Years Eve was also the 10th year anniversary of theshizz, it was the very first show I put on with the Minibosses, Fatigo, and The Budget Sinatra. This event sparked all of the things that came later, such as the messageboard. There was discussion to do an event for the tenth anniversary, but I had no desire what so ever to do this. I do not regret this one bit, for I was not in the right state of mind to do this, and I don't think it would have gone over as well as many people would have wanted it.
With that being said, I had no desire to go to magfest this year. I also was not financially able to go which made it easy to bow out, but after hanging out with burke one night he suggested Magfund and told me to talk to jvincion. The VERY next day Thecreeper messaged me on twitter telling me to do the same. What a strange coincidence, so I messaged Jvincion and he (via magfund) helped me make it to Mag to see you guys. It was embarrassing to ask for help, so I didn't really make it public that I used magfund to get me to magfest, but I feel you all should know.
Even after getting my tickets, it still didn't hit me and was still kind of apathetic to the whole thing till a few days before Mag and then it hit me. All of your guys positive energy is so addicting, I couldn't help but get swelled up with it and am so overjoyed that I got to go.
Just being in the same room with all of you guys made me feel like family so much, I can't even explain. I really don't deserve the credit you guys give me, I feel like I have been such an ass at times. There were times where I was just sitting next to people and didn't say anything at all, but I felt close just knowing we were sitting next to each other. I had such an amazing time, I was gonna say you guys have no idea, but I know you all know exactly what I'm talking about.
Last year, I went on a suspension spree, but I want you all to know, just because I suspend someone doesn't in any way mean I have any dislike towards the person, it means I need to give someone a wake up call for being an ass. I know some people took things personally, I'm sorry that you did, you will need to get over it, but I have no issue doing it again in the future if anyone starts acting up
Magfest was much different than last year, it was definitely more spread out but it was still an amazing time, and it was great seeing people randomly through the halls like FoxxDragon and VikingGuitar and Brendan and everyone else it was just a great feeling and it felt like home.
Before Magfest, shizzfest was not even gonna be an option this year, I simply had no desire at all do this. But I was asked repeatedly about it by many of you and the energy that I felt all weekend was so amazing that I really have a drive to make this happen once again. So I will be making a separate thread for shizzfest and want to set everyone's expectations, it's no magfest, it's much much smaller, those of you who were there last year know what I'm talking about.
There are many of you I still don't know that well and didn't go out of my way to say hello and wish I had. I think there should be some sort of "meet your fellow shizzie" challenge or something, but will save that for another post.
I want all of you to know I love all you guys, and instead of PMD this year I have nothing but PML and am so excited about this coming year and I'm glad I got to see alot of you at Mag
I missed some of you guys like Jvincion, Ryan8bit, Crimson, Toadette, Wizwars, and so many others but I have no doubt I will see you guys in the future, or else I will be really fucking pissed.
While writing this I have gotten teary eyed, laughed, and smiled. I hope I can express at least partially how feel about you all, and if you ever see me and I don't say hello, please come over and give me a big hug and I promise I will hug you all right back. Yes, if you are reading this, I mean you too!
so in conclusion:
I had a shitty year, I went to mag, I got over it, and now I'm ready to take on the world!!!!
I love you guys!!!
Posted by VikingGuitar on 21 January 2013 - 04:00 PM
As some of you know, I've been a police officer in California for over five years. I've been with the department for over seven years, and it's kind of been a big part of my life since I became an adult.
This is all ending soon. I'm at a point where I don't want to dwell in the negativity and hostility involved with the profession. Specifically, I've been on a few homicide scenes that have really stuck with me, and I don't think I want to keep exposing myself to things like that. I'm getting married this summer and think it's better for my own emotional health to not stay in the mindset I've been in for seven years.
I've been looking for new work since August and have finally found something that will work well for me. I'm going to start as a legal secretary in just a few weeks. The pay is good, it has benefits, and it will allow me to go back to school to get a degree in web development. It also will allow me to keep working on music and (*gasp!*) maybe even be able to start a band again. With a little luck, the web development and music stuff will keep growing at the rate it has been, and I might be able to do that full time and make a living within a couple of years.
Regardless, I just wanted to say "thanks" to everyone on the board here. By and large, you've all been super cool and have been incredibly good friends through all of this. There are a few particular people in this community that are some of the best friends I've had in my whole life, and your support and encouragement can never fully be repaid. You are all the mutha-fuckin' BEST.
As a weird aside, my badge number has been randomly showing up EVERYWHERE lately, ever since I decided to leave a few months back. It's the length of phone calls, it shows up in youtube videos, it's my order number at restaurants, etc. Today when I went by the department to send the email announcing my resignation, it was there on the clock, staring at me. I'm not a religious or superstitious person by any stretch, but this has definitely been an interesting side note to all of this. I'm allowing myself a bit of spirituality on this one and choosing to interpret it as a sign that I'm doing the right thing.
But goddam, I'm still kinda sad to close the book on this one.
-143 going off duty. Good night!
Posted by mooniniteG on 20 December 2012 - 01:48 AM
Your thread might be more successful if anybody owned a Virtual Boy.
Posted by DragonBurk on 24 September 2011 - 12:47 PM
Mom took it well, by the way. I told her I'd known all my life, but was scared to say anything and had kept it in since Junior High. I'd wanted to say something for so long but couldn't I started crying in the restaurant pretty much immediately. She smiled and told me that she was happy for me, happy that I felt comfortable enough with her- and myself- to admit it, and that she wished me the best in creating my reality from here on out. I can only hope this will go as well with the rest of my family. I think it will, and I feel very fortunate to have such a supportive family.
I told my roomates a little while ago. They were surprised but didn't mind at all- they had known me since high school, after all. But they told me they don't really care, that they don't feel awkward living with me at all and are supportive of me and this big step I have taken.
It almost makes me sick to think how many relationships I could have had by now but have not because of fear of expressing myself sexually. Part of the reason I left Japan was because, while there certainly is a sizeable gay population, the overall vibe is that outside of novelty it is frowned upon in general as a lifestyle choice and it became clear that I could have no long term future there without living a lie. It was extremely difficult to grin and bear it when told "Oh hey, if you REALLY want a long term investment here, how about getting a Japanese girlfriend?" by pretty much every foreigner and native Japanese alike. I've had no real experience with relationships up until now because I've had to use excuses like "she's not my type" or "I'm too busy to have a girlfriend right now" to blow off women I knew were interested in me and I never actively pursued any romantic interest with another male because... well, self-explanatory. Again, I'm not doing this for attention or because I expect any strong reaction one way or the other- I'm just tired of not being honest, with myself and other people, out of fear: I am getting older, I have lived most of my life closeted, I am frustrated and lonely, and I have no venue or place to express feelings legitimately outside of the internet right now. Apologies if this is incoherent- I'm still reeling. My mind is full of colors and noise and this is really quite unreal at this stage. I am probably being overly dramatic, but my sentiments are genuine.
I know this is awkward. I'm sorry if this is causing a scene. If you have any questions, fire away. I'm here.
Posted by bucky on 17 May 2010 - 03:03 PM
And I don't have a huge dick, so apparently I just know what to do. I've even been told that I was *much* better than others with bigger dicks, so there's proof in the motion-of-the-ocean mindset. Now I'm seeing someone and it's great. My normal weekly schedule now includes work, sampling video game music and uploading to youtube, band stuff (optional), and lots of sex. Hot, gay sex. lol Oh and as a result I don't remember the last time I jerked off. Neither me nor my partner ever turn it down. Ever.
Don't forget, play safe!
Also one of the weirder posts I've made, but eh, who gives a shite. +1 shamelessness
Posted by Ashane on 07 February 2014 - 03:36 PM
So I know I haven't been too active on here lately, but since I may be hanging with some of you in the near future, I thought I'd make this post. This is going to be a long post, because although I don't think it's a big deal or something I feel I have a responsibility to explain, I'd like to share my thought process behind this decision because I'm very close with some of you on here, and you will be seeing me go through some changes. I accept myself for who I am and it's not my responsibility to make anyone else accept me. Not trying to sound negative, but if you have a problem with me, it's just that--YOUR problem, not mine. If anyone chooses not to be friends with me over this, please get it over with and don't try and pretend to be nice to me, and please don't try and shame me into changing my appearance or behavior. This is who I am. I don't have time for negative people in my life anymore, and I am done letting negative emotions and fear rule my life, even if it's means losing everything and having to find an entire new life and comfort zone.
Fortunately it hasn't come to that. I took a leap and came out a couple weeks ago to a few people as trangendered. I also identify as genderqueer. One of the first people I came out to was my teacher, who I have a pretty good relationship with, and she was incredibly supportive to the point that I decided to start "transitioning" or going "full-time" as female. I wear women's clothes and makeup everywhere--work, school, with friends, going out... Aside from minor awkwardness, I haven't had one negative experience yet. It's just not a big deal like I've always made it out to be my whole life. My mom and brother fully support me, as well as the friends I've told. Nobody has treated me any differently as a person, and I hope you all could extend the same courtesy.
But even if I do get disrespect, it bounces off completely because I don't feed into it. I've made the decision this year that I do not care one bit, no matter who you are, whether you approve or disapprove the way I live my life, because I'm not hurting anyone else and I'm not changing anything about myself at anytime for anyone. I will not put on a persona to make you feel comfortable. I also won't do anything to try and change your mind if you're transphobic. You're free to think I'm a lunatic or a weirdo. I will just move on.
I just feel like I identify more with a female personality and sense of self. I've always felt a bit androgenous, and more often then not, "guy stuff" fails to interest me. I think gender roles are stupid, and I feel that if men want to wear women's clothes or do girly things, they shouldn't have to feel any sort of shame about it, just as women don't for playing video games or doing other guy stuff (In fact, I work with a girl who's much more of a man than I am). I no longer feel any shame or guilt about this side of myself, and I am now fully comfortable expressing myself any way I see fit. I have stopped resisting in many ways in life and fearing change. I've decided to start following my heart and see where it takes me. I'm really starting to get in touch with myself and just be better to myself--putting me first instead of worrying how the way I express myself will affect others, or even my own perception about myself. I have finally learned how to just shut my ego off like a light switch.
Some of you might think I'm a bit crazy or am a pervert, like I just decided to start playing dress-up one day. This isn't a fetish. I'm not a drag queen, nor a crossdresser that jerks off into some panties and then goes on with their everyday life. I'm a heterosexual that enjoys the look and feel of women's clothes, and expressing myself in feminine ways. This is something I've suppressed for way too long, and I'm just done with that. THAT is what is truly crazy--feeling guilt or shame about the way you are, and trying to change that to make you and other people happy. It may seem like I'm changing a bunch about myself, but it's more like I'm finally expressing my true self, whereas the persona you all have known was a less accurate expression. I have so much more respect now for really flamboyant gay people since coming out, because regardless of the level of respect you give them, in truth they are very strong, free-thinking people that just do what makes them happy without caring what other people think.
So why do I even have to explain myself? The gay community has made some great progress in spreading awareness about homosexuality, but society still has this stigma against transgendered people. 30% of transgendered people commit suicide, and unfortunately my brother is in that statistic. I really wish I had a lot more awareness about transgendered people at the time so I could've dealt with it better. I heard a statistic that only 8% of people in the US have claimed to know a transgendered person in their life, whereas it's 80% for knowing someone gay. I'm lucky to live in Portland, where nobody really cares or even notices, but I have a feeling things are going to start getting rocky when I venture into other territory. Crossdressing is actually illegal in some areas of the US...
I don't feel any less of a person for now openly expressing this aspect of my life; in fact, it has made me so much incredibly stronger as a person, I get chills throughout my body at the end of some days for finally facing some of my greatest fears head-on like a champ, head held up high. It's giving me the kind of excitement and motivation to achieve great things. I'm excited about a lot of things for the first time in a long while, and every day is an adventure. I just feel a lot happier. I feel a lot like a kid again, just doing the things I like I to do without all this unnecessary anxiety we develop growing up, being drilled in us what we should or shouldn't do, who we should and shouldn't be. Fuck all that. Just have fun with your life is what I say.
I am now less afraid of expressing my emotions, I'm friendlier with people, I feel more genuinely caring towards people and have empathy for their situation, extending to them the same respect I hope they'd give me as a person. I can only feel sad for people who choose to live a life of negativity and then spread that to me like a disease. That is an expression of themselves which has nothing to do with me. It says much more about them than anything about me. I can't please everyone. There's always going to be a critic, and that's fine. I won't force you to accept my lifestyle. Do your thing and I'll do mine.
I haven't had my name legally changed yet, but I prefer to be called Ashane now, as it's more of a gender neutral name, and also because I'm creating a new path in my life and in many ways leaving my old one behind. People have already started calling me Ashane who have never heard it before and it's no big deal. It'll be an easy transition in the online realm, obviously. It won't necessarily make me uncomfortable if people call me my birthname either intentionally or unintentionally, but it's not what I'd prefer. Go ahead and use it though if it makes you more comfortable, because I'm secure enough with who I am that I'm not afraid of being "outed" as a particular gender. I don't have a preference on a pronoun yet, but that may change as I go further down this path.
Thank you if you read any or all of this and took some of your time to better understand me as a person <3. Don't be shy to ask me questions if you have any. Also, I still have to come out to my dad which I'm gonna do in a few days, and I'm preparing for the worst, so if any of you who have already come out have any sort of advice, I would love hearing that too.
Posted by raubhimself on 10 January 2012 - 02:10 PM
Posted by Ashane on 01 November 2012 - 02:43 PM
At last, I've got a new repository for all of my arrangements and other stuff. I put up a lot of really old covers on there that have never been released. They're not A material or anything, but my ego's not at all threatened by sharing these with you. I didn't put up anything that I don't personally enjoy listening to, so you should find something you like if you're into old school straight covers. I think it's also interesting to see how I improved over time with each release. My Mega Man 3 Medley, one of the very first covers I posted on the old booger board is the oldest release on there (from April '03). There's 39 total covers on the site.
Oh yeah, sorry for the lack of originals... They're all on a drive I don't have access to right now. Definitely gonna post some more though.
If you're wondering if this means that I'm going to start releasing new material again, the answer is yes! I just entered DoD with SnappleMan last month and I've got a lot of other exciting projects lined up. The site's only a few days old, so please share any tips you might have for how to improve it, comments, criticisms, requests (tabs, videos, etc), or whatever. I'll be updating this site a lot more than previous ones I've had, so keep an eye on it, as well as other links I've added to my sig. Thanks for checking it out!
Posted by thecreeper on 20 November 2010 - 10:48 AM
aaronburke | 5th magfest | band room
Akumu | 6th magfest | snappleroom | Out With My Girlfriends
Ardyman | 1st magfest | Zio's room | More or less what I look like
arise_shine | 1st Magfest | somewhere in the Mag-hotel | doo-doo
Ashane | 7th Magfest | the hotel
bucky | ?? Magfest | ??
cacomistle | 5th magfest | Zio land | BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
cetera | 4th mag | my room: my rules | me
chronolever | 1st Magfest | Zio's room | Guess who's got two thumbs and is excited for magfest? THIS GUY!
chunkstyle | 4th Magfest | band room | pic
clansmaneddie | 1st Magfest | suite or somewhere | most likely will be in this denim maiden jacket...minus the nevermore folks
Colin | 6th Magfest | Suite
Danimal Cannon | ?? Magfest | With the band | a/s/l?
darmock | 4th Magfest | Team Ice Crystal Palace @theshizzblock (my room) | Ready to rock!
DAVID R. GUMBY | 5TH MAGFEST | SUITE FLOOR | PARTY TIME
DeathMask | 2nd MAGFest | Xandraiin's Room | See Lt. Dizzle's Pic, I'm the dude behind him
Dennis | 1st Magfest | In a hotel room with a friend I'm dragging along | the one on the left, yo
Dino | ?? Magfest | ??
DirectorFlik (Flik) | 3rd Magfest | OneUps band room
Djinnocide | 1st Magfest | Bunkin' with Moldilox and possibly Gravy Boat | I'm the guy in the middle
Dom | 4th magfest | mag hotel, retreat | get closer to the damn microphones!
Donald | 2nd Magfest | the suite, or anywhere
Emptyeye | 6th MAGFest | In his own damn room with his soon-to-be wife
Emptyeye's Silver | 4th MAGFest | In the room mentioned above.
Eric Dude | 3rd magfest | mooninite's room | This is not what we will look like. | Bringing SNES
FoxxDragon | ?? Magfest | Kain & ninja's room | pic
GlamGoreMuffin | 1st Magfest | cetera's room or wherever I may crash | Merry Christmas
GravyBoat | 1ST MAGFEST | Rooming with Djinnocide, sleeping with Moldilox | ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
Gurthang | 1st Magfest | Mag-hotel with ^PaladinX^ | the one with no hair
Hat | 4th Magfest | I don't know? I'm poor until Feb 1st, | Recent Mugshot
housethegrate | 6th Magfest | I don't care where I'm staying | happy new year!
IBBIAZ | ?? Magfest | ??
ironyengine | 7th Magfest | In your room | cmon now you know me!
Jace | 2nd Magfest | Wherever they end up sticking the bands | I've got a surprise for yooouuuu.
Jadbgjoka | 5th MAGFest | Our Room
jesse | 5th magfest | my room (the whole time!)
jiggs | ?? magfest | Jiggs 'n Juggs room
jmr (Jeff R.) | 1st MAGFest | my own room | me, telling whoever it was who had the camera to stop pointing that fucking thing at me.
JoeMusashi (and Jade) | 3rd MAGfest | my room | lookin good | Jade is coming too
Juggs69 | ?? magfest | Jiggs 'n Juggs room
jvincion | 5th MAGFest | Bear Cave | just look at my avatar, I still look like that
Kain Xiorcal | 1st Magfest | our room with quatermass | pic
Kaptain Carbon (& Fiance Sarah) | 6th Magfest | somewhere in the tower |pic
kareshi | 7th Magfest | ??? | pic
Ken Oh | 6th Magfest | Suite - King (afaik) | shirt on shirt off
kid b | 3rd Magfest | theDude's room
king crust | 4th magfest | jesse's room
KirbyPufocia | 6th Magfest | band room | u mad
Kirk | 5th Magfest | Don't come to our room, don't follow us (unless you're Bucky}
Levi (Travis' bro) | 1st Magfest | suite | Wearing a TMNT shirt under the suit
Lt. Dizzle! | 3rd MAGfest | Xandraiin's room | pic
Magicalyardgnome | 4th Magfest | Shizz block (thanks Mr. Magfest!) | pic
matsunami | 6th Magfest | The SWEET | pic
Megamatt | 5th MAGfest | MY ROOM (pie's room) | doin' what i do
mercatfat | 2nd Magfest | this is me on the left. nick is in the hat.
Metal Dream | 5th MAGFest | Our Room | On the right
Metalhead Mike | 4th Magfest | Suite | In brightest day, in blackest night, no Magfest shall escape my hep, beware my MLIOOBEs, Metalhead Mike
mig50 | 6th magfest | wherever | boioioioioioioioioioing
mills | 3rd Magfest | arise_shine's room | Just for the fuck of it here's me giving Ryan8Bit a lap dance
MissAnthrope | 2nd Magfest | MY OWN SECRET HIDEOUT
Moldilox | 1st Magfest | Bunkin' with Djinnocide and possibly Gravy Boat | I'm the guy on the left
mooniniteG | 5th Magfest | My room
mrtame | 1st time | still working on that | im not stoned
Narf | 1st MAGfest | Room/Concerts/Wherever | I'm rich biatch!
Nario | 4th MAGFest | Family's Room -or- Shizz Suite Floor | We're supposed to put pictures here?
Naz | ?? Magfest | suite
Nick The Newbie | 6th MAGFest | Room with Jenn and college friends | HERRO
ninja | 1st Magfest | our room with quatermass | pic
Openium | 4th MAGfest | My Room | True Face Revealed
OverCoat | 5th Magfest | Ubik's room | not creepy or anything
^PaladinX^ | 1st Magfest | Mag-hotel with Gurthang
Paragon | 6th MAGfest | Zio's Room | sounds like my kind of party
paraschis | 3rd Magfest | Where WONT i be? | pic
pIENESS | 5th MAGfest | MY ROOM | pic
poizon74 | ?? Magfest | ??
Prince of Darkness | 3rd MAGfest | SnappleMan's Room | NSFW but Awesome
quatermass | 3rd Magfest | Kain and Ninja's room | maybe it'll work
raubhimself | 8th MAGfest | The Hohman Zone (Enter at your own risk) | Yrep
Riders | 2nd Magfest | Jiggs 'n Juggs room | My suit's so tight... I've been ready to fuck!
rikc | 6th magfest(!!) | my room, shizz block!
Ryan8bit | 5th magfest | the AWESOME room apparently | YOU GONNA GET GRAPED
Sam | 6th Magfest | MagicalYardRoom | Cake!
Sam's Claire | 2nd Magfest | MagicalYardRoom | Cake!
SenJ | 1st MAGfest | Wherever I can crash | Pruh Sweet V-neck brah!
ShawnPhase | 9th Magfest | Wire Mcquaids Lap | !!!!!!!!!!
Sherv | 6th Magfest | suite | graped
Shoe | 5th magfest | the AWESOME room | your resistance only makes my pinky harder
Skiptastic | 7th Magfest | Suite
SNAPPLEMAN | 5th MAGFEST | MY ROOM | MY PIC | Bringing MAME/laptop
Spookmeister C | 7th MAGfest | SUITE | BAM
Stemage | 4th Magfest | band room | pic
streifig | 2nd Magfest | jmr's room | yes, i can't believe it too
Sunny | 5th MAGFest | Our Room
thecreeper | 7th Magfest | Suite | oh baby
theDude. | 4TH MAGFEST | THEDUDE'S TITS | I LOOK LIKE THIS
themonk3y | 3rd MAGfest | Shizz Block | Me
TheRealFalkBlues | 5th Magfest | Locked out of Jesse's room | pic
the Wozz | 4th MAGfest | Wherever I may fall | It's All Downhill From Here
Tim200X | 3rd Magfest | In my band hotel room, or whatever room I happen to pass out in | me
Toadette | 2nd Magfest | Team Ice Crystal Palace
Travis | 2nd Magfest | suite | Schuzznecktitty, NY
universal_justin | 1st magfest | don't plan on sleeping | my avatar is me
wizardcombat | 1st MAGFest | DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HEAD | I'm using the cat brush!!!
Wizwars | 3rd Magfest | Zio's Room I think (or wherever) | I'm fat
woodman | 5th magfest | band room
Xandraiin | 3rd Magfest | Regular Room | Giveittome
Zio Oxview | 6th Magfest | Zio's room
Zoast | 6th Magfest | suite | Bringing SNES accessories
Posted by Skiptastic on 07 July 2011 - 07:31 PM
Gaylord National Hotel and Convention Center
201 Waterfront Street
National Harbor, MD 20745
Jan 5 - 8, 2012 (Thu - Sun)
Show up here and be amazed at how few people there are.
The Alternate Titles
Eh, fuck it. There are no alternate titles. The only tenth movies I know are fucking Jason X or Star Trek: Nemesis. And they suck. And Final Fantasy X sucked.
Fuck it, cancel Magfest.
Magfest Home Page
Magfest @ Facebook
Magfest @ Twitter
All websites dead due to cancellation.
The Pertinent Information
Because there is no fest this year, the hotel has dropped prices pretty ridiculously, just to get you poor bastards to stay for a night or two.
Sad to see a nation wide chain stoop to such ridiculous rates as $125/night with $15/night fees and taxes.
They even bothered trying to direct people to get there. I mean, no fest, why bother???
Posted by VikingGuitar on 04 February 2012 - 01:41 AM
She did it because she's fucking awesome.
Thanks! Totally made my day!
Posted by juef on 28 October 2011 - 03:10 PM
After what seemed an eternity, this project finally comes to an end. While we aimed for more epicness that what we actually achived, I think each and every one of you who contributed should be proud! But I'm not gonna say anything else because I think I covered it all on the results page anyway. So...
Behold, the results!
Posted by WilliamTheBard on 27 March 2013 - 04:38 PM
Posted by jiggs on 16 June 2012 - 12:32 PM
this is a bulletball. a gift i received from marc griffin today.
i was taking a walk in the park with juggs69 today, and there was some family sports festival going on. we decided to walk around despite the hoards of screaming children and the heat. the chicago bears mascot was there, which is cool, i guess. there was a line to get a picture with him, and a bunch of dumb kids, so we kept walking. there was archery, and i kinda wanted to stop to shoot something, but there was a line for that too. things were looking pretty lame, but as we were on our way out, i noticed something in the next tent out of the corner of my eye. i muttered "that's a bulletball table," as my brain struggled to comprehend what we were approaching. as we got closer i noticed that the man himself, marc griffin, was there and just rocking the shit out of some little kid. "i got next." the kid left after an embarrassing defeat, and we introduced ourselves and explained our history with the sport, to which he was incredibly enthusiastic. i played him.
the official bulletballs are a lot lighter than the ones we typically use, which actually makes the game more difficult. there is also a fairly large opening to defend. an airball counts as a point for the opponent, which adds an element of caution and precision. needless to say, the creator and inventor was victorious. we talked about the tables, the game, and how the company is doing. i explained to him how passionate we are about the game, how we've resorted to creating our own tables, and how we once took some pizza boxes and a long rectangular table and invented 3-on-3 team bulletball. "one more game?" "it's on." we played again, just as intensely as the first match, but this time i took the win. he gave me his business card, and told me to email him my address. "...and don't be surprised if a bulletball table shows up." i'm not sure if he was joking or not, but i am sure that 100 years from now, i'll be smiling up in heaven saying "i knew one day it would happen."
Posted by 3ngag3 on 21 November 2011 - 07:36 PM
Behold! It's a pocket gopher my brother found half dead in a pond the other day. According to him, it might have been attacked and left for dead, but upon looking at it, that might not be the case. Anyway, I nursed the thing back to health and it's resting cofortably in a spare cage which I keep my rats on occasion. I'll be taking it to a wildlife station at the end of the week to see if it can be released in a safe location.
In the meantime, I named it Caddyshack and feed it a steady diet of dandilions.