"4 score and 7 years ago....." abe lincoln
"sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken" Tyler Durden
"you can tune a guitar but can you tuna fish?" idr
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME A FEW FAVORITE QUOTES?
Started by backupforward, Dec 12 2004 09:42 AM
52 replies to this topic
#16
donald
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Posted 13 December 2004 - 06:10 PM
People don't give a shit, unless it affects them personally, this affects me personally!
Message board?
This is The Shizz.
Chromelodeon manages to get all the furniture from their hotel into the lake a few years back...and people are worried about shizzies?
#17
mancopter
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Posted 13 December 2004 - 06:31 PM
I'll post more later, but for some reason, this popped into my head immediately.
"And as for this non-college bullshit I got two words for that: learn to fuckin' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big fuckin' surprise." ~ Steve Buscemi as Mr. Pink, Reservoir Dogs.
"And as for this non-college bullshit I got two words for that: learn to fuckin' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big fuckin' surprise." ~ Steve Buscemi as Mr. Pink, Reservoir Dogs.
#18
weener
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Posted 14 December 2004 - 10:09 AM
"They already do have a small-penis porno magazine. It's called 'Forbes'." --Shawn
#19
glitterbot
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Posted 14 December 2004 - 03:08 PM
"I can't fix a car like this, because I don't have the tools! And even if I did have the tools I don't know if I could fix a car like this!" -bottlerocket
"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." - douglas adams
"....Scratch a cynic and you'll find a disappointed romantic...." christopher moore
"On the run from Johnny Law...ain't no trip to Cleveland." - bottlerocket again, because i love it.
"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." - douglas adams
"....Scratch a cynic and you'll find a disappointed romantic...." christopher moore
"On the run from Johnny Law...ain't no trip to Cleveland." - bottlerocket again, because i love it.
"Now get out. You're banned from this historical society. You and your children, and your children's children... for three months. "
#20
Hooray For Everything
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Posted 14 December 2004 - 03:30 PM
I will be taking possession of this, thank you very much..."....Scratch a cynic and you'll find a disappointed romantic...." christopher moore
too true..
"HFE...sometimes you seem serious when you are joking and jokey when your serious. You make me laugh and sob all at once. Bless you, and bless the great asshole in the sky that shit you out onto earth. Thank you...thaaaaaaank you. " - bb
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." - DS
"one persons harassment, is just another person trying to get there shit back, ever think-a that?"
"THIS JUST IN: SHANE KENNEDY LIKES NOTHING.
SHOCKER." - Mig50
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." - DS
"one persons harassment, is just another person trying to get there shit back, ever think-a that?"
"THIS JUST IN: SHANE KENNEDY LIKES NOTHING.
SHOCKER." - Mig50
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
#21
Hooray For Everything
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Posted 14 December 2004 - 03:33 PM
"HFE...sometimes you seem serious when you are joking and jokey when your serious. You make me laugh and sob all at once. Bless you, and bless the great asshole in the sky that shit you out onto earth. Thank you...thaaaaaaank you. " - bb
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." - DS
"one persons harassment, is just another person trying to get there shit back, ever think-a that?"
"THIS JUST IN: SHANE KENNEDY LIKES NOTHING.
SHOCKER." - Mig50
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." - DS
"one persons harassment, is just another person trying to get there shit back, ever think-a that?"
"THIS JUST IN: SHANE KENNEDY LIKES NOTHING.
SHOCKER." - Mig50
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
#22
woodman
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Posted 14 December 2004 - 03:41 PM
Ah, Onion headlines - where would we be without them???
#23
bobby
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Posted 14 December 2004 - 03:42 PM
My favorite,
Police Baffled by Bottle Shaped Paper Bag
Police Baffled by Bottle Shaped Paper Bag
#24
Guest_johnMFer_*
Guest_johnMFer_*
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Posted 14 December 2004 - 03:53 PM
"A mysterious portrait of you, painted by an acknowledged master, will increase in value as the years progress, while you remain worthless." -Lloyd Schumner, Sr.
Yep, the onion has it all.
Yep, the onion has it all.
#25
Hooray For Everything
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Posted 14 December 2004 - 04:32 PM
we can all agree on something!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"HFE...sometimes you seem serious when you are joking and jokey when your serious. You make me laugh and sob all at once. Bless you, and bless the great asshole in the sky that shit you out onto earth. Thank you...thaaaaaaank you. " - bb
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." - DS
"one persons harassment, is just another person trying to get there shit back, ever think-a that?"
"THIS JUST IN: SHANE KENNEDY LIKES NOTHING.
SHOCKER." - Mig50
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." - DS
"one persons harassment, is just another person trying to get there shit back, ever think-a that?"
"THIS JUST IN: SHANE KENNEDY LIKES NOTHING.
SHOCKER." - Mig50
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
#26
mancopter
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Posted 14 December 2004 - 04:41 PM
I'm like a chocoholic, but for booze.
#27
Peter
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Posted 14 December 2004 - 04:45 PM
Man With Complete Mama's Family Video Library Never Going On eBay Drunk Again
Man Gets All The Way To Hospital Just To Find Out Wife Will Be Fine
Man Gets All The Way To Hospital Just To Find Out Wife Will Be Fine
Like it or not, this is a place where we talk about sandwiches.
-Bobby
-Bobby
#28
woodman
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Posted 14 December 2004 - 04:59 PM
I still remember my first Onion headline:
"Mother Teresa Sent to Hell in Wacky After-life Mix-up"
"Mother Teresa Sent to Hell in Wacky After-life Mix-up"
#29
Guest_i am a jerk_*
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Posted 14 December 2004 - 06:07 PM
on the run from johnny law, this ain't no trip to clevland. -dignan
#30
thebiggameover
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Posted 14 December 2004 - 06:23 PM
"east coast elitist?" fuck it,
sure- is that what you call it? fine.
all i know is im from new your city,
i can actually think on my feet, i can
string two fucking sentences together
with out notes, and i could answer
some motherfuckers' questions
about a war without just spitting out
eleven different permutations of the
same goddamn "goo-gah freedom"
phrase! so sue me- that makes me
elitist? good! if "elitist" just means
"not the dumbest motherfucker in the
room," i'll be an elitist!
-David Rees
sure- is that what you call it? fine.
all i know is im from new your city,
i can actually think on my feet, i can
string two fucking sentences together
with out notes, and i could answer
some motherfuckers' questions
about a war without just spitting out
eleven different permutations of the
same goddamn "goo-gah freedom"
phrase! so sue me- that makes me
elitist? good! if "elitist" just means
"not the dumbest motherfucker in the
room," i'll be an elitist!
-David Rees
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