37 replies to this topic

[fatguyaz]

thanks, but i think i'm gonna go get a live trap, cuz you KNOW that fucker will be back with his friends. God damn coons!!

Once i catch him, i'll put a stick through his whole body and put him right at the front of the chicken coop to send a message to his friends. That shit worked in Conan the Barbarian.

And The Beastmaster.

[jeremx]

God damn coons!!

whoa dude.. sure you shouldn't have been at that rally on saturday? lol

i wonder if raccoon meat is any good? i've got some kinfolk in alabama. i'll make a phonecall and find out.

[fatguyaz]

after looking at prices on live traps, anyone have one i can borrow? I think someone was asking about them a while back... Anyone? I'll return it with as little coon blood on it as i can.

[Jacki O.]

make a hat!



Hi, I’m Tom. I have a raccoon on my head.

Excuse me, my friend over here was digging through your trash and I think we might have a lot in common. I’m Tom. Would you like to see a movie sometime?

Are you a raccoon? Because you’ve been running around my hat all day…uh, my head all day.

Girl, you’re more precious than “Precious.”

Nice hat. Wanna bone? That’s you, talking to me.

You know what they say. Animal on the head, manimal in the bed.

Damn girl, your hotness killed my raccoon.

I have a raccoon hat; I’m an interesting person.

[Tony]

oh, and you thought this shit was done?

so yesterday i'm out in front of my house doing some yard work and i run into my neighbor. he says "hey, have you heard the roosters? have they been bothering you?" because evidently he decided he needed to get more roosters to impregnate his chickens so he'd get more chicks, and ultimately more eggs.

and i'm like "what the fuck?" because wasn't it like 6 months ago that somebody else in our neighborhood called animal control on you because you had roosters (which are illegal)? and you got rid of those roosters, and now you got more roosters?

anyway, no, the roosters aren't bothering me yet. i'm sure they will at some point, but not yet.

then earlier today my wife tells me that THERE WAS A FUCKING ROOSTER IN OUR DRIVEWAY this morning, and it started strutting and jogging towards her while she was putting our son in the car to go to school. she then demonstrated the chicken dance that Gob from arrested development always does. anyway, she made it to the car unscathed. but that whole episode reminded me of this thread.

[TV's Frink]

then earlier today my wife tells me that THERE WAS A FUCKING ROOSTER IN OUR DRIVEWAY this morning, and it started strutting and jogging towards her while she was putting our son in the car to go to school. she then demonstrated the chicken dance that Gob from arrested development always does.

Man, I would totally accept a rooster next-door if I could see my wife do that dance.

[fatguyaz]

ha!! This is awesome.

Mean bastards, aren't they? I got rid of the one that i had (I got it when it was a baby, thinking it was a hen) the very next day after it charged me and my kids. Oh no you didn't, is what i said!