22 replies to this topic

[MikeyWretch]

So just like the seasonal section at target its never too early to start talking about that birthday of that magician that was born in the dirt in the middle east! Lets talk about all things Christmas or maybe shows and crap around then.

[differently biotic]

christmas threw up all over our offices.

[weener]

Talk about a holiday that can kiss my ass. Wait, we already are, because that holiday is Christmas.

[bob]

something from the december issue of the noise, which has no internet presence:

The Ten Best Christmas Songs of All Time!

If there is a real Ebenezer Scrooge in this world, it might be I. First of all, as everyone knows, Ol’ Santa… I mean Jesus H. Christ was born in the summer. And as you might have already read in your history books, those pagans had a pretty good party going for winter solstice when Constantine and the Roman elites were like, ‘how do we get these guys to convert to Christianity if we take away all their great parties?’ Fast forward 2000 years and you’ve got a giant orgy of consumerism and awkward conversation with your redneck relatives that still think Obama is an illegal alien and fundamentalist Islamic terrorist. It’s all really fun stuff. So get out that fake pine tree and goddamnit, please be kind and keep that burnt animal carcass away from me and pass the eggnog if it’s fortified. Why couldn’t my parents have been Jewish? Or Muslim? Say what you will, those religions respect their holidays.
Hate the holidays as I might I was still able to scrape up two handfuls of tracks that I don’t mind hearing any time of the year. Of course most of these don’t make it on the radio (unless it’s Radio Free Flagstaff) so you might have to seek these out.

Honorable mentions: Jimi Hendrix’ “Little Drummer Boy” and Bing Crosby and David Bowie with the same song.

10. “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day”
Wizzard
This song sucks, but Roy Wood is the best Santa/Father Christmas. None better in rock n roll. Take that ZZ Top and Leon Russell. I mean Slade has a good jam that could fit here, (”Merry Christmas Everybody”) but, I mean, Roy Wood just looks like Santa Claus.

9. “Remember (Christmas)”
Nilsson
Son of Schmilsson
This is the closest to an actual Christmas song we’re gonna get. This whole album is awesome.

8. “Every Day Is Christmas With You”
Boyracer
To Get a Better Hold You’ve Got to Loosen Your Grip
Just a nice Christmas song. “Little Drummer Boy” soldier drums. What’s wrong with that? Of course, it’s not really a Christmas song, just a dumb metaphor. Good hooks abound.

7. “Xmas In February”
Lou Reed
New York
This is Lou Reed’s “Born in the USA,” lyrically anyway. The factory Sam works at closes down, so he signs up for the army and goes to Vietnam, gets his arm blown off, gets hooked on dope, and loses his family. And a merry Christmas to you. New York is a great late Lou Reed album. It’s like Mistrial, except it’s good.

6. “This Xmas Eve”
Radar Bros.
And the Surrounding Mountains
Kind of a brutal song about the ritual of slaughtering animals and other lovely Christmas time pageantry. That’s probably why I like it. Some good Ol’ Testament wrathful god stuff. I tried really listening to see what the words were about, but just got nowhere. And it matters not at all. Again, a great album, and it’s all in the same trudging tempo that somehow works.

5. “Jesus Christ”
Big Star/Alex Chilton
Third/Sister Lovers
The creepiest song about the birth of Jesus ever. A genuinely lovely track on a hugely underrated/overrated album. I love that intro and when it kicks in, I get goosebumps.

4. “Christmas in Capetown”
Randy Newman
Trouble In Paradise
Is there a more depressing, more real song about Christmas? Probably not. Enough n-bombs for a hardcore rap song, Newman raps about blood diamonds way before Kanye, and just think: these kids made everything in that new Walmart they got over there.

3. “I Wish It Was Christmas Today”
SNL Cast- Horatio Sans, Chris Kattan, Jimmy Fallon & Tracy Morgan
YouTube
I just love this song and the performance is just top notch. I’m not joking. Though it is also really funny. What happened to Horatio Sans anyway? I heard he lost a lot of weight. That means he’s probably not funny anymore. Apparently, Julian Cassablancas (The Strokes) does this song live.

2. “Father Christmas”
The Kinks
Come Dancing With the Kinks
One of the best rock n roll bands in all the universes in the universe has to do a Christmas song at some point. Hey, Keith Richards has one. Of course, it’s a Chuck Berry number. Anyway, for this late period of Davies’ tunes, this ranks high. Santa Claus robbed by poor kids. I love it.

1. “Christmas in Washington”
Steve Earle
El Corazon
This one’s good all year round, every year. Any year. I love this song. Enjoy with fine whiskey. Or cheap gin. The lyrics are worth printing. Here they are:

It's Christmastime in Washington
The Democrats rehearsed
Gettin' into gear for four more years
Things not gettin' worse
The Republicans drink whiskey neat
And thanked their lucky stars
They said, 'He cannot seek another term
They'll be no more FDRs'
I sat home in Tennessee
Staring at the screen
With an uneasy feeling in my chest
And I'm wonderin' what it means

So come back Woody Guthrie
Come back to us now
Tear your eyes from paradise
And rise again somehow
If you run into Jesus
Maybe he can help you out
Come back Woody Guthrie to us now

I followed in your footsteps once
Back in my travelin' days
Somewhere I failed to find your trail
Now I'm stumblin' through the haze
But there's killers on the highway now
And a man can't get around
So I sold my soul for wheels that roll
Now I'm stuck here in this town

There's foxes in the hen house
Cows out in the corn
The unions have been busted
Their proud red banners torn
To listen to the radio
You'd think that all was well
But you and me and Cisco know
It's going straight to hell

So come back, Emma Goldman
Rise up, old Joe Hill
The barracades are goin' up
They cannot break our will
Come back to us, Malcolm X
And Martin Luther King
We're marching into Selma
As the bells of freedom ring

[weener]

That list neglects to mention this song:



"I'M GETTING PISSED FOR CHRISTMAS, just like the rest of the year
There's no future in this lonely world so I might as well have a beer."

[P xDITIx]

I am going to kill myself.

[DoctorShumway]

My Firm gave me a shitload of days off. I'M TOTALLY GOING TO WASTE THEM!

[thebiggameover]

it snowed up here in the white mountains (ill post some pics here later), but yea, xmass is here yo...

[jeremx]

it failed to mention this gem as well:

[Jacki O.]

YAY Christmas! Lights! Candy! Food! Presents!

Everyone is either completely miserable or super happy! i love it!

this is the best xmas song

[jeremx]

http://sketchysantas.failblog.org/

[differently biotic]

I might actually sort of celebrate this year. I'm in a pretty good mood lately and have been spending a lot of time w/ my family before I move to Portland and my sister's family moves to Wisconsin. Bonding w/ my niece and nephew who are the the most beautiful kids I've ever seen and LOVE! me. When my nephew sees me he does that whole baby reach and open close fist like he wants to grab thing w/ a HUGE grin on his face and doesn't want me to put him down. And forget about it when I leave him. He does NOT like it. So unbearably cute.

[joe.distort]

ugh. so sick of christmas, and i dont mean this year. i mean in life.

im not religious.
presents have gotten to the point where i have to tell people what i want. (which while spoiled sounding, really ruins the whole point of it for me. am i the only one who listens to what people say all year so i dont have to ask this question??)
GOING OUT IN PUBLIC BECOMES A NIGHTMARE.
everyone is either sadder or meaner than normal.
christmas music.
it makes me think about my childhood which makes me sad OR sad for things i miss 100% of the time.
liz wants to decorate the house. with a new puppy in it. UGH WHYYYYYYYY

BUT
the grinch and rudolph are on tv
i have a designated day for doing absolutely nothing but seeing the people i love and spending time with them
i like to eat
i have a week off of work
i love the feeling of spoiling my ladiez (everyone in my life i care about is a female except my brother)

i know im just crabby, but whatever. thanksgiving is better than christmas to me anyway. next year i think i am going to do all my shopping in the summer and give everyone gifts at thanksgiving. then i will have no december stress.

[differently biotic]

I don't like the whole shopping/gift thing. If we do the gift thing it's either homemade gifts or money.

What the hell am I gonna do when I have kids? Will they somehow feel neglected if we don't buy into the whole holiday shopping/gift giving thing?

[Katie]

I turn 24 on the 24th. It's my golden birthday, buy me stuff. Or baked goods