1)Please describe your butt
FULL OF POO

2)Do you have a job? If so please describe (briefly)
FAST FOOD

3)Do you live with your parents? If not, please describe (briefly) your living situation (roommates, apartment/house, living with ex-girlfriend, etc.)
MY BUDDY HAS A SWEET TRAILER

4)Are you homeless/living in your car?
ITS SOMEONE ELSES VEHICLE AND I CALL IT HOME

5)Do you dance? Yes No
MOSH

6)Do you enjoy going down on hot chicks? Yes No
DOES BUTTHOLES COUNT?

7)Did you vote in our last presidential election? Yes No
FELONS CANT VOTE

8.)Please briefly describe your political leanings
MY LEANING IS ONLY WHEN IM DRUNK AND CANT STAND
TOTALLY APOLITICAL LEANING
I SQUAT LIBERALLY THOUGH

9)Please briefly list some of your favorite musical genres
I HATE MUSIC

10)Please briefly list some of your favorite movies
TWO WORDS. STEVEN. SEAGAL.

11)Please briefly list some of your favorite books (if you do not read, you can stop taking this survey now)
UM HOW ABOUT THE HOLY BIBLE?

12)Please fill in the blank: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a ____”
WORM

13)Do you get along with your family?
THEYRE DEAD. SO YEAH.

14)Do you like fake breasts?
YEAH BUT THE BOUNCER KICKS ME OUT ANYTIME I TOUCH EM

15)Do you play video games?
duke nukem forever
e.t.
texas chainsaw massacre
custer's last stand


16)Do you have any female friends?
I KNOW FEMALES BUT THEIR NOT MY FRIENDS

17)what kind of porn do you like to watch?
WHATEVERS FREE

18)Are you gay?
NO WAY

19)Are you maybe a little gay?
ARE YOU LOOKIN FOR A FIGHT

20)Have you ever cheated on a girlfriend?
DO BOARD GAMES COUNT

21)Are you friends with any of your ex-girlfriends?
THE COURT WONT ALLOW THAT

22)Do you have a beard?
I DID BUT SHE DIDNT CONVINCE ANYBODY. THATS WHERE YOU COME IN.

23)What are your feelings about women who let their body hair grow out
AS LONG AS THEY KEEP THEYRE BURKAS ON

24)Do you have a 401K or other retirement investment account?
MONEYS FOR SELLOUTS AND POSERS

25)Do you recycle?
ONLY JOKES

26)Do you cook?
NO BUT I BAKE. BWAHAHAHA. (420)

27)Who would you bang: Amy Poehler or Tina Fey?
28)Who would you bang: Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin, please describe why
I DONT DO MOMS

29)please describe your drinking habits?
GENERALLY IT GOES IN MY MOUTH DOWN MY THROAT HOLE

30) when drunk would you rather: a) fight with me/dudes in the bar/my ex-boyfriend or B.) fuck me
CAN I DO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME

31) dogs or cats? or both?
SNAKES

32) what would do to help alleviate my pain on day 1 of my period?
TAKE A 7 DAY VACATION

OH I THOUGHT YOU SAID ALLEVE MY PAIN