..........man my dads photos are no bueno
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CAN SOMEONE PLEASE, TELL ME A FUNNY STORY?
Started by backupforward, Nov 27 2004 02:13 AM
138 replies to this topic
#1
backupforward
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Posted 27 November 2004 - 02:13 AM
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..........man my dads photos are no bueno
..........man my dads photos are no bueno
"Take it out on the dill-spear dixie Dick trickle juice Vinegarette koolaid and a couple rump dumplins for all the hop hipster swivel monks!"
Alan Bishop
Alan Bishop
#2
Mary
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Shizz Captain
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Posted 27 November 2004 - 01:12 PM
OK, so the husband and I are watching Will & Grace and he says, "rose hag. Hmmm. Is there a male equivalent of a rose hag?"
I say, "You mean a straight man who likes to hang around with lesbians?"
"Yeah."
"We call that a straight man."
edit: o snap, I forgot that would happen. You know what I mean. It rhymes.
I say, "You mean a straight man who likes to hang around with lesbians?"
"Yeah."
"We call that a straight man."
edit: o snap, I forgot that would happen. You know what I mean. It rhymes.
Love like you don't need the money, dance like you've never been hurt, and work like nobody's watching.
#3
weener
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Posted 27 November 2004 - 01:52 PM
Staying with the gay theme:
So, I was having a chat with a male co-worker when a flamingly homosexual man who works in a neighboring department prances up and asks him for a piece of gum, offering to retrieve the gum himself from my co-worker's pocket.
When this man leaves, my co-worker says to me, "Hmmm, I'm not sure, but I think he's gay."
"
Why, what on earth would give you that impression?" I replied.
"Well," he went on. "When we were making out the other day, he started grabbing my ass!!"
So, I was having a chat with a male co-worker when a flamingly homosexual man who works in a neighboring department prances up and asks him for a piece of gum, offering to retrieve the gum himself from my co-worker's pocket.
When this man leaves, my co-worker says to me, "Hmmm, I'm not sure, but I think he's gay."
"
Why, what on earth would give you that impression?" I replied."Well," he went on. "When we were making out the other day, he started grabbing my ass!!"
#4
donald
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Posted 27 November 2004 - 02:17 PM
I used to Hang with some lesbians and I was referred to as a Dyke TykeOK, so the husband and I are watching Will & Grace and he says, "rose hag. Hmmm. Is there a male equivalent of a rose hag?"
I say, "You mean a straight man who likes to hang around with lesbians?"
"Yeah."
"We call that a straight man."
edit: o snap, I forgot that would happen. You know what I mean. It rhymes.
People don't give a shit, unless it affects them personally, this affects me personally!
Message board?
This is The Shizz.
Chromelodeon manages to get all the furniture from their hotel into the lake a few years back...and people are worried about shizzies?
#5
cabinboy
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Posted 27 November 2004 - 03:38 PM
hahhaa. you don't know how funny that is........ i peed all oiver my lesbian i laughed so hard.
eff it.
#6
dougly
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Posted 27 November 2004 - 05:04 PM
i farted in english class when we were all reading lord of the flies...there was no sound at all...well that is untill i let one rip
team fire. represent
#7
backupforward
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Posted 27 November 2004 - 11:16 PM
My friend got this pet mouse once, he had it in a brown paper bag. That mouse pissed, chewed a hole through the piss spot, crawled through the piss hole, and was then eaten by his cat.
funny to me, at least
funny to me, at least
Edited by donald, 29 November 2004 - 09:51 AM.
"Take it out on the dill-spear dixie Dick trickle juice Vinegarette koolaid and a couple rump dumplins for all the hop hipster swivel monks!"
Alan Bishop
Alan Bishop
#8
Mary
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Posted 28 November 2004 - 05:17 PM
Thanks, I'll tell himDyke Tyke
Love like you don't need the money, dance like you've never been hurt, and work like nobody's watching.
#9
Guest_mike_rotch_*
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Posted 29 November 2004 - 08:36 PM
ok, so im on the bus, and........
well it was real.......
well it was real.......
#10
Guest_Niki Kwik_*
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Posted 01 December 2004 - 02:25 AM
"Wanna pet a puppy, Lenny?" " Okay, Lenny!"My friend got this pet mouse once, he had it in a brown paper bag. That mouse pissed, chewed a hole through the piss spot, crawled through the piss hole, and was then eaten by his cat.
A couple weeks ago, my husband and I were in the
garden department of Wal-Mart, and I was looking at
these cement rabbits, and he yells, as loud as he can,
"No, I will NOT tell you about the rabbits again, Lenny!"
Well, it was funny to me...
#11
Guest_Niki Kwik_*
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Posted 01 December 2004 - 02:26 AM
Mice...puppies...rabbits...whatever.
#12
weener
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Posted 01 December 2004 - 11:21 AM
I wonder if any of the other braindead Wal-Mart shoppers got the literary allusion.
#13
Guest_Ajax-Rex_*
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Posted 01 December 2004 - 11:03 PM
A few years back, one morning my sister (who lives in Texas) walked out her back door, heading to her carport where her car was parked. She got about twenty feet from it when she noticed the skunk that was hanging around the driver side door. She carefully managed to shoo the thing away without getting sprayed. Well, when she opened the driver side door to get in, a second skunk that she hadn't seen came out from under the car next to her, and sprayed her and the whole interior of her car. She had to throw away the clothes whe was wearing and get the interior of her car re-apholstered (sp?) to get rid of the smell. I think it took her about two or three days to get the smell out her hair.
#14
mancopter
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Posted 01 December 2004 - 11:25 PM
Okay, so I just started this medication, right?
One night, I ended up getting really drunk, and I'm pretty certain that I smoked a lot of something that wasn't tobacco, though I smoked an insane amount of tobacco that night as well.
I stumble to my room and pass out.
I wake up in the middle of the night, and I have to pee. I do so, and return to bed.
Next morning, I get up, shower, and go to my walk-in closet to get dressed. I reach for a pair of underwear from this plastic set of drawers I got from Wal-Mart. My hand haps upon a set of briefs. They're soaking wet. I take a second to figure out what the fuck is going on.
Holy fuck.
I pissed in my underwear drawer in the middle of the fucking night.
Not a proud moment, but it's just too hilarious not to share.
One night, I ended up getting really drunk, and I'm pretty certain that I smoked a lot of something that wasn't tobacco, though I smoked an insane amount of tobacco that night as well.
I stumble to my room and pass out.
I wake up in the middle of the night, and I have to pee. I do so, and return to bed.
Next morning, I get up, shower, and go to my walk-in closet to get dressed. I reach for a pair of underwear from this plastic set of drawers I got from Wal-Mart. My hand haps upon a set of briefs. They're soaking wet. I take a second to figure out what the fuck is going on.
Holy fuck.
I pissed in my underwear drawer in the middle of the fucking night.
Not a proud moment, but it's just too hilarious not to share.
#15
donald
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Posted 02 December 2004 - 10:42 AM
That is too freakin Hilarious Mancopter
People don't give a shit, unless it affects them personally, this affects me personally!
Message board?
This is The Shizz.
Chromelodeon manages to get all the furniture from their hotel into the lake a few years back...and people are worried about shizzies?
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