damn dude
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE, TELL ME A FUNNY STORY?
Started by backupforward, Nov 27 2004 02:13 AM
138 replies to this topic
#16
chadk
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Posted 02 December 2004 - 10:56 AM
-trunkspaceAll the time when I tell people what I do they say, "Oh I don't understand art, I can't even draw." (or worse, "I only like art I can understand.") Well, ya know what, I don't know how to make a car, but I sure appreciate being able to drive one.
#17
raubhimself
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Posted 02 December 2004 - 10:58 AM
this thread is a KS
sanitize.deodorize.pulverize
MINIBOSSIES NEVAR SAY DIE!
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MINIBOSSIES NEVAR SAY DIE!
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'the smuggest amongst us will always be the quickest to point out the most minor transgressions of others around them'- a quote i just made up and put quotes around to make it seem slightly fancier
#18
weener
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Posted 02 December 2004 - 09:09 PM
This dude in my english class once was talking about how his roommate came home drunk late at night and started pissing in the microwave.
#19
mancopter
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Posted 02 December 2004 - 09:12 PM
What a loser.This dude in my english class once was talking about how his roommate came home drunk late at night and started pissing in the microwave.
#20
mig50
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Posted 02 December 2004 - 09:20 PM
one time when i was 12 i woke up in the middle of the night and had to piss.
i was really tired and really out of it, and instead of walking three feet across the hall to the bathroom, i just stood up and pissed all over my bed. just as i was finishing up i realized what i was doing and freaked out. i don't know if i thought i was in the bathroom or if pissing on the bed just seemed like the right thing to do (i think it was the latter). whatever the case, i made my way to the bathroom to grab a towell and some cleaner, sprayed down my bed, then slept on the couch.
i told my parents in the morning that i just couldn't get comfortable in my bed that night, which wasn't a lie.
i was really tired and really out of it, and instead of walking three feet across the hall to the bathroom, i just stood up and pissed all over my bed. just as i was finishing up i realized what i was doing and freaked out. i don't know if i thought i was in the bathroom or if pissing on the bed just seemed like the right thing to do (i think it was the latter). whatever the case, i made my way to the bathroom to grab a towell and some cleaner, sprayed down my bed, then slept on the couch.
i told my parents in the morning that i just couldn't get comfortable in my bed that night, which wasn't a lie.
you mean you forgot cranberries too?
#21
Mary
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Posted 02 December 2004 - 10:02 PM
I don't think this story is especially funny, but it is about pissing.
Once I was touring to Pinetop in a play (no, not much of a tour, thanks for asking) and we were sleeping in the director's trailer but she was having some plumbing issues (I mean her trailer was) so we couldn't use the toilet there--had to use it at the country club where we were performing.
So we do a show, we do a second show by popular demand and are exhausted, someone drives me all over Pinetop where I drink champagne, scotch, beer, get back to the trailer and obviously have to pee. I walk up this very steep hill (so as to pee downhill, helpful when you're a girl) and pee on some gravel and go inside and go to sleep.
Wake up later in the a.m., sober, feeling fine, our cook/co-star makes breakfast, I step outside and see that the enormous hill I climbed to pee on is a driveway with about a 12-degree slope.
Once I was touring to Pinetop in a play (no, not much of a tour, thanks for asking) and we were sleeping in the director's trailer but she was having some plumbing issues (I mean her trailer was) so we couldn't use the toilet there--had to use it at the country club where we were performing.
So we do a show, we do a second show by popular demand and are exhausted, someone drives me all over Pinetop where I drink champagne, scotch, beer, get back to the trailer and obviously have to pee. I walk up this very steep hill (so as to pee downhill, helpful when you're a girl) and pee on some gravel and go inside and go to sleep.
Wake up later in the a.m., sober, feeling fine, our cook/co-star makes breakfast, I step outside and see that the enormous hill I climbed to pee on is a driveway with about a 12-degree slope.
Love like you don't need the money, dance like you've never been hurt, and work like nobody's watching.
#22
mikemfer
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Posted 03 December 2004 - 09:39 AM
My first night back to the dorm in 1993 I made a urination faux-pas. I met up with some friends who were having a keg party and I had hardly drank all summer. Next thing you know I'm doing beer bongs and kegstands. So I got really drunk and went and passed out in my dorm room. I woke up and had to pee really badly, but I didn't realize where I was. I thought I was in my parents' house where I had spent the summer. I felt along the wall (which was right above my roommate's bed (and which freaked him out)) and there was no door where the door was supposed to be. I was baffled and frustrated and I really had to piss. So I guess I took a plastic Safeway bag and started to piss in that. By this time my roommate, whom I had just met a few hours before, was awake. He turned on the lights and sent me to the bathroom. I finished up there and returned to my bed to re-pass out. I left the bag of piss on the floor. Turns out my roommate had expected me to clean it up and of course when I woke up I didn't really remember what had happened. Anyway, not only did everyone on my floor hear the story but that roommate was always scared of me after that.
#23
Mary
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Posted 03 December 2004 - 01:26 PM
All other things being equal, I think I'd prefer my roommate be scared of me.
Love like you don't need the money, dance like you've never been hurt, and work like nobody's watching.
#24
Guest_johnMFer_*
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Posted 03 December 2004 - 01:48 PM
Yeah, and good thing it wasn't a Fry's bag, most of those have holes in the bottom.
#25
Hooray For Everything
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Posted 03 December 2004 - 01:53 PM
I wonder why he was scared of you after that...hmmmm
"HFE...sometimes you seem serious when you are joking and jokey when your serious. You make me laugh and sob all at once. Bless you, and bless the great asshole in the sky that shit you out onto earth. Thank you...thaaaaaaank you. " - bb
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." - DS
"one persons harassment, is just another person trying to get there shit back, ever think-a that?"
"THIS JUST IN: SHANE KENNEDY LIKES NOTHING.
SHOCKER." - Mig50
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." - DS
"one persons harassment, is just another person trying to get there shit back, ever think-a that?"
"THIS JUST IN: SHANE KENNEDY LIKES NOTHING.
SHOCKER." - Mig50
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
#26
capthfc
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Posted 03 December 2004 - 01:54 PM
wait a minute....are talking about his penis???I wonder why he was scared of you after that...hmmmm
throw the children.
#27
Hooray For Everything
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Posted 03 December 2004 - 01:56 PM
I used to read anything & everything in the bathroom when I was a kid (now I have the Allmusic guide to Jazz)...well, one day I read the insert in my moms box of o.b. tampons, I was in 3rd grade....it had instructions & stuff,....
next thing y'know I had one foot up on the toilet and was inserting a tampon into my butt.
nothing happened.
but it was really gross when i pulled it out.
Ha ha!!! That never happened....
next thing y'know I had one foot up on the toilet and was inserting a tampon into my butt.
nothing happened.
but it was really gross when i pulled it out.
Ha ha!!! That never happened....
Edited by Hooray For Everything, 03 December 2004 - 02:02 PM.
"HFE...sometimes you seem serious when you are joking and jokey when your serious. You make me laugh and sob all at once. Bless you, and bless the great asshole in the sky that shit you out onto earth. Thank you...thaaaaaaank you. " - bb
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." - DS
"one persons harassment, is just another person trying to get there shit back, ever think-a that?"
"THIS JUST IN: SHANE KENNEDY LIKES NOTHING.
SHOCKER." - Mig50
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." - DS
"one persons harassment, is just another person trying to get there shit back, ever think-a that?"
"THIS JUST IN: SHANE KENNEDY LIKES NOTHING.
SHOCKER." - Mig50
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
#28
Hooray For Everything
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Posted 03 December 2004 - 02:04 PM
I dunno,wait a minute....are talking about his penis???I wonder why he was scared of you after that...hmmmm
Capt PringleDink
"HFE...sometimes you seem serious when you are joking and jokey when your serious. You make me laugh and sob all at once. Bless you, and bless the great asshole in the sky that shit you out onto earth. Thank you...thaaaaaaank you. " - bb
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." - DS
"one persons harassment, is just another person trying to get there shit back, ever think-a that?"
"THIS JUST IN: SHANE KENNEDY LIKES NOTHING.
SHOCKER." - Mig50
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." - DS
"one persons harassment, is just another person trying to get there shit back, ever think-a that?"
"THIS JUST IN: SHANE KENNEDY LIKES NOTHING.
SHOCKER." - Mig50
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
#29
dharma_bum
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Posted 03 December 2004 - 02:12 PM
damn dude...I used to read anything & everything in the bathroom when I was a kid (now I have the Allmusic guide to Jazz)...well, one day I read the insert in my moms box of o.b. tampons, I was in 3rd grade....it had instructions & stuff,....
next thing y'know I had one foot up on the toilet and was inserting a tampon into my butt.
nothing happened.
but it was really gross when i pulled it out.
Ha ha!!! That never happened....
Edited by dharma_bum, 03 December 2004 - 02:12 PM.
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#30
capthfc
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Posted 03 December 2004 - 02:16 PM
what about the time you forgot to wipe and sat down on the couch?I used to read anything & everything in the bathroom when I was a kid (now I have the Allmusic guide to Jazz)...well, one day I read the insert in my moms box of o.b. tampons, I was in 3rd grade....it had instructions & stuff,....
next thing y'know I had one foot up on the toilet and was inserting a tampon into my butt.
nothing happened.
but it was really gross when i pulled it out.
Ha ha!!! That never happened....
throw the children.
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