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angry_polar_bear

Member Since 27 Sep 2017
Offline Last Active Today, 08:57 PM

#1436414 Depression And Other Social Issues

Posted by angry_polar_bear on 23 November 2020 - 10:22 AM

The existential dread has been pretty fucking strong these last few days. By most people’s measures I would seem to be doing ok, but I’m really not. It’s very challenging to unpack it all and try to address any of the issues though, especially right now.
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#1436331 Shizz Coming Out Thread

Posted by angry_polar_bear on 21 November 2020 - 09:34 PM

Anyway tl;dr, internalized homophobia is a fucking trip.


It really is. But knowing that it’s there means you can at least attempt to catch yourself when it’s causing you to think or feel a particular way.
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#1436206 11:60

Posted by angry_polar_bear on 20 November 2020 - 12:55 PM


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#1436062 ErichWK - Athletic Aesthetic (My new VGM album to get Big To)

Posted by angry_polar_bear on 18 November 2020 - 12:54 PM

My body is ready
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#1436002 Weight And Exercise Thread

Posted by angry_polar_bear on 17 November 2020 - 10:58 AM

It's all about positive association/reinforcement. Try wanking in front of the mirror till the very sight of yourself turns you on.


🤔
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#1435997 Weight And Exercise Thread

Posted by angry_polar_bear on 17 November 2020 - 10:05 AM

I bench pressed my body weight yesterday, multiple times! It felt like a pretty awesome milestone to hit. I think that officially puts my PL over 500, so even though I have a long way to go I’m definitely making progress.

On a side note, I have been trying to take progress pictures once a month with very consistent angles/lighting, and although I don’t really see a change yet I have noticed one troubling thing: I get anxious as shit when I’m doing them. I think it’s partly because there is a very loud voice in my head screaming that posing for pictures with my clothes off (even if nobody else will ever see them) is vain and douchey. It’s weird because I follow plenty of Instagram folks who post workout/progress pics all the time and I definitely don’t judge them the same way as I apparently judge myself.

There’s definitely a spectrum ranging from feeling good about yourself, proud of your accomplishments and wanting to share them vs the extremes of arrogance, showing off and narcissism. But when I am the subject, my brain apparently says nope it’s all or nothing: either you’re silent and humble or you’re a self-important asshole, no in-between.

Has anyone got any suggestions for fighting that feeling? Or had experience with it themselves?
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#1435904 Hades - There Is No Escape!

Posted by angry_polar_bear on 15 November 2020 - 05:24 PM

Whoa, I get to be the one to start a thread! 

 

I have been greatly enjoying this game since the full version came out. I had quite a few people singing its praises to me when it was in early access, so I gave it a try even though I hadn't played any of the other Supergiant games and I was instantly hooked! I know quite a few shizzies have been playing too or at least giving it a go. Aside from being very, very fun, it also has a killer soundtrack and some really awesome musical vibes. And YOU CAN PET THE THREE HEADED DOG :D 

 

Some of my current stats in the spoiler tag below, I definitely have preferred builds and particular boons that I aim for, but once in a while I'll shake it up and try to challenge myself to use a weapon I don't like, or just try to get one of the in-game "achievements" for trying out all the various combinations of things. I have a few good videos/screenshots of particularly fun stuff that I'll see if I can get on here. I'm pretty much done with story-related stuff but haven't quite maxed everything out like a good completionist should...

 

Spoiler

 

Looking forward to seeing other people talk about their runs, favourite boons/aspects, and all that!

 

Is there no escape?

 

 

 

 


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#1435871 COVID-19

Posted by angry_polar_bear on 15 November 2020 - 09:45 AM

At one point I had hopes of very carefully making the journey back to the homeland, doing the appropriate quarantine period and then getting to see my parents before doing it all again in reverse. But it’s just not sensible or practical so I have tried to make peace with the fact that this will be the first Christmas that I won’t spend with them. I think it’s gonna hurt a lot. We did already have one Christmas without my brother though (parents came here but he couldn’t) so I guess that was the practice run of not being together.

Meanwhile I see people posting on social media from weddings, vacations to Mexico and elsewhere, flying cross-country to socialize and it just fills me with a quiet rage.
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#1435842 The all-purpose MARSHALL ART thread!

Posted by angry_polar_bear on 14 November 2020 - 07:25 PM

Yeah that set was amazing! And holy shit that video editing!!
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#1435652 Depression And Other Social Issues

Posted by angry_polar_bear on 10 November 2020 - 10:32 PM

I for one, welcome an ErichWK-ruled world. Windbreakers for everyone!
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#1435563 What games are you playing now?

Posted by angry_polar_bear on 09 November 2020 - 04:22 PM

I had to go through a real progression of running/dashing around like mad and taking a ton of damage, to being able to read the moves and anticipate what the enemies are going to do, and being much more slow and patient as a result. There’s definitely a strategy for each enemy/boss and although it can differ a lot depending on your weapon/aspect/upgrades/boons, you can really gain a lot from careful observation and noting when and how you take damage.
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#1435335 What games are you playing now?

Posted by angry_polar_bear on 07 November 2020 - 03:55 PM

I'd like to find more things like that to poke around in.

Here's the games I've played in that genre (1st person wall-breaky, funny narrator). In order from movie-like to game-like:

The Beginner's Guide (kinnndof a mindstack. Not really funny, but some really cool insight that warrants some post-gameplay Youtube analysis vids)
Dr. Langeskov
The Stanley Parable
Superliminal (On sale for about another week on Steam!)
Portal
Portal 2

Also add:

There Is No Game
Pony Island

Not quite the same genre, but if you enjoyed those others you’d likely enjoy these two. Best to go into them with zero knowledge though.
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#1435334 COVID-19

Posted by angry_polar_bear on 07 November 2020 - 03:53 PM

Welp, our provincial case numbers went from 150 ish a day to almost 600 a day in the space of a few weeks so they are introducing stricter restrictions. That means no more band practices or livestreams for the time being as we’re not allowed to gather indoors with anyone other than immediate household members. Kinda wish they’d done the restrictions a few weeks ago, before the numbers started doing exponential growth again...

Oh and did I mention that my employer, the provincial government, is in the midst of trying to make everyone go back to the office 2 days a week? Excellent timing. I feel like they are going to U-turn on that first thing Monday morning.
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#1435261 11:60

Posted by angry_polar_bear on 07 November 2020 - 11:09 AM

I was actually wondering if any of y'all have come out as LGBT since I've been gone, having discovered I was non-binary a few years ago myself. Is there an LGBTQA+ thread??

There's a shizz coming out thread that I think fits the bill:
https://theshizz.org...d/?fromsearch=1

I've considered myself trans for awhile now but have kept myself mostly closeted until relatively recently. I honestly still haven't talked about or processed most of my thoughts and feelings about it. Not sure if I'm actually closer to being non-binary or genderqueer or something else, but I'm working on it. I know I still don't post a ton these days but it feels very relieving to have come out here and have it be such a non-issue.

It really is relieving! And I’m 100% sure that there is ample support here for you to talk if and when you’re ready to, or just provide a comfortable environment to help with all that processing :)

When I was first getting to know about this place and meet some VGM folks in person (at MagWest) I had another one of those moments that every non-straight person has to deal with all their life: when to “come out” to this new group of people. I felt comfortable enough with the people I met there to casually drop a few references to my bf into conversation, and then when I joined here and started posting I found the coming out thread and had a good read. I was super heartened to see how for the most part there was an overwhelmingly positive reaction at the start of that thread (and calling out of negative or thoughtless posts), right through to the more recent posts where it’s very clear that it’s a place of support. So FWIW I have never felt a need to hide things on here and I think that’s fucking awesome.

Contrast to the job that I started almost 2 years ago where I am still extremely guarded because I just don’t know people well enough to be comfortably open. Not that it’s an unsupportive environment, but I just still have that fear that there’s a risk associated with being out in the workplace. Especially with the team that I manage, which has lots of people living in small towns and rural areas, like where I grew up.
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#1435240 Donald Trump is your EX-President

Posted by angry_polar_bear on 07 November 2020 - 09:58 AM

Congratulations from North of the border!
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