63 replies to this topic

[larah]

I had an ex shit in my sink. He also wet the bed a lot after drinking. It sucked.

[MikeyWretch]

I had an ex shit in my sink. He also wet the bed a lot after drinking. It sucked.

Look! I told you i was sorry and you said it was no big deal! I bet you are going to tell them about the diapers next huh? PPFFT!

[weener]

i've been sorta seeing this girl lately and we were together for the first time recently and as things were getting pretty heavy, i asked her if she had any protection (we were at her house and i don't carry'em around with me). she asked what i would think of her if she said she did. i told her that i would think that she was a very smart woman. i was rewarded for my response.

Do some men still look down on women who keep condoms around? I was hoping those days were over.

[Jacki O.]

i've been sorta seeing this girl lately and we were together for the first time recently and as things were getting pretty heavy, i asked her if she had any protection (we were at her house and i don't carry'em around with me). she asked what i would think of her if she said she did. i told her that i would think that she was a very smart woman. i was rewarded for my response.

Do some men still look down on women who keep condoms around? I was hoping those days were over.

yeah she needs to update her insecurities

[joe.distort]

yeah, i didnt know people still thought poorly of ladies who think ahead?

[jeremx]

yeah, i didnt know people still thought poorly of ladies who think ahead?

nah.. she said it with a wry smile.. what i've learned of her over the past several weeks would lead me to believe that she was asking more out of amusement.. knowing i wouldn't have a problem with it. who knows tho, had i hesitated, i coulda been thrown to the wolves.. ha

although, having said that, i have no doubt that there are plenty of people out there that still hold on to that world view. but those people don't use protection anyway. sexin' is for giving babies to jesus!

[differently biotic]

um ... I freaking have half a box in my purse right now.

[JJames]

i never have them around so always making last minute trips to the 7 11

i dont usually carry around a "who am i kidding condom" only "theres no way im not using this condom"

[The Real Jeffrey Lebowski]

I feel blessed after reading everyone else's stories here...I've had the good fortune of meeting some really wonderfully amazing lady friends thus far in life. There's always the usual ups and downs that will always happen, but Jesus - I've got nothing on the stuff here.

Also, maybe I'm crazy, but I can't stop thinking about Revolutionary Road (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0959337/) after reading this thread...

[joe.distort]

i never have them around so always making last minute trips to the 7 11

i drink a lot, but i am very cautious about drunk driving...the only time ive ever driven while dangerously fucked up was to get condoms at like 5 am haha

[jeremx]

i dont usually carry around a "who am i kidding condom" only "theres no way im not using this condom"

the universe seems to know when i'm being presumptuous. if i'm carrying some, i'm usually getting none. "flat tire on the way to my date?!?! damn you zeus!"

[Mary]

You may use any of this you like, Jacki:

The man I lost my virginity to was a college friend and my part-time boss (although I was kind of on hiatus from working for him when we first banged). I didn't feel serious about the relationship for a couple of months, but we saw each other constantly and he had written "I love you" in a note or card to me, seemed very fond of me, paid on dates, invited me to move in if I was having place-to-live issues, etc., and neither of us was seeing anyone else. And so after a few months I felt as though I had fallen in love, and you could ask anyone, his friends, my friends, girls, guys, they would have said we were boyfriend and girlfriend. We had epic amounts of sex and quite a bit in common.

Not having had a relationship before, it didn't seem weird to me that he never talked about his feelings much, or about anything else of personal significance, or that I never met his family. He told me he didn't particularly like his family and that they were creepy.

So after about a year, not too long after I'd actually proposed to him and he'd said no and I said "no big deal, I don't have other plans so let's just keep doing what we're doing" (I learned later that's a stupid thing to do because the person who says no is just too freaked out to go back to how it was, typically), he begins withholding sex, claims he's just having personal stuff going on and it's not me, and the next time we go out he asks me for money for my half of the pizza, and never pays for another goddamn thing.

Literally months go by (while I keep thinking he might work out these issues he's having, 'cause I was so inexperienced) before he acknowledges, because I ask him flat-out, that the relationship is over, while simultaneously denying that it was ever enough of a relationship to have to be called one or to be officially ended, yet saying it's still possible he will someday fix whatever is the matter with himself. (By the way, he told me this while I was having food poisoning.) So we try to remain friends.

For about a year, then, though it felt like forever, we lived in separate cities and wrote each other a lot of letters, which was basically cool except that from time to time I proceed to be quite annoying by suggesting we get back together or else that he tell me the truth about why he doesn't want to be with me because that "I'm just too screwed up" thing is obviously not it. Eventually, after a sex-and-weeping-filled-visit, I get a clue and move on, though we keep writing letters, in which I continue to occasionally be annoying about getting back together, suggest what might make him a less crappy boyfriend to the next person, and keep the little hope in my heart literally until I fall in love with someone else. (Which obsession was not his fault, though he could have manned up and hurt me cleanly instead of trying to let me down easy, but he perhaps didn't know better at the time, and he certainly didn't know me and my attachment style.)

He then moves to NYC for career reasons and hangs out with me and Mr. Mary and our friends. After several months he writes me a letter about the real circumstances of our relationship (that's now been over for four years. )

And, dear readers, I realize that there's a difference of opinion whether the dumpee, in general, actually deserves an explanation or the truth, and I know this happens all the time, but I had still been quite traumatized and kept asking for reasons. Which people tend to want to do, I think, when rejection comes out of the blue like that. I think that before it ended I was actually a pretty decent girlfriend; I heard his best friend told him he was an idiot to dump me.

The deal, he wrote, is that he was never actually attracted to me at all. Not even initially. I didn't do it for him, whatever that took. And I never knew that, he didn't tell me, of course; he was just a very lonely horny guy. He felt I was too fat vis-à-vis the size of my breasts (which, in 1984, I was not; I was just an average-looking lady). And he wanted to do me up the butt and I didn't like it. But ultimately he just felt no chemistry, as well as deciding for me what would constitute a good relationship for me and that it wasn't him. I guess he couldn't believe I had such strong feelings for him, so he decided that meant I was a needy psycho (I later heard from a mutual friend).

It was a big thing to find out, for me; I'd think of something from when we were together and then I'd think, Oh, that's right, he didn't actually feel anything there, it wasn't what I thought. Someone stays with you for over a year and you think, Okay, we had this, at least. Then you find out those were just 365 days when he couldn't meet anyone else.

He died in 2000, after 11 years of no further contact. On Day of the Dead I honor him by enjoying some of his favorite foods. Last night we had chicken parm.

[weener]

Wow, Mary. That's quite a story.