154 replies to this topic

[mattm]

I just blew through an hour of the work day reading this thread... thanks kids!


I find it strange that most of the folks here equate body hair to a hygiene issue, such a typical americanized misconception. uggh


I am untouched by blade, I find shaving an odd ritual in general.

[xhardcoredoodx]

1)Please describe your butt
FULL OF POO

2)Do you have a job? If so please describe (briefly)
FAST FOOD

3)Do you live with your parents? If not, please describe (briefly) your living situation (roommates, apartment/house, living with ex-girlfriend, etc.)
MY BUDDY HAS A SWEET TRAILER

4)Are you homeless/living in your car?
ITS SOMEONE ELSES VEHICLE AND I CALL IT HOME

5)Do you dance? Yes No
MOSH

6)Do you enjoy going down on hot chicks? Yes No
DOES BUTTHOLES COUNT?

7)Did you vote in our last presidential election? Yes No
FELONS CANT VOTE

8.)Please briefly describe your political leanings
MY LEANING IS ONLY WHEN IM DRUNK AND CANT STAND
TOTALLY APOLITICAL LEANING
I SQUAT LIBERALLY THOUGH

9)Please briefly list some of your favorite musical genres
I HATE MUSIC

10)Please briefly list some of your favorite movies
TWO WORDS. STEVEN. SEAGAL.

11)Please briefly list some of your favorite books (if you do not read, you can stop taking this survey now)
UM HOW ABOUT THE HOLY BIBLE?

12)Please fill in the blank: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a ____”
WORM

13)Do you get along with your family?
THEYRE DEAD. SO YEAH.

14)Do you like fake breasts?
YEAH BUT THE BOUNCER KICKS ME OUT ANYTIME I TOUCH EM

15)Do you play video games?
duke nukem forever
e.t.
texas chainsaw massacre
custer's last stand


16)Do you have any female friends?
I KNOW FEMALES BUT THEIR NOT MY FRIENDS

17)what kind of porn do you like to watch?
WHATEVERS FREE

18)Are you gay?
NO WAY

19)Are you maybe a little gay?
ARE YOU LOOKIN FOR A FIGHT

20)Have you ever cheated on a girlfriend?
DO BOARD GAMES COUNT

21)Are you friends with any of your ex-girlfriends?
THE COURT WONT ALLOW THAT

22)Do you have a beard?
I DID BUT SHE DIDNT CONVINCE ANYBODY. THATS WHERE YOU COME IN.

23)What are your feelings about women who let their body hair grow out
AS LONG AS THEY KEEP THEYRE BURKAS ON

24)Do you have a 401K or other retirement investment account?
MONEYS FOR SELLOUTS AND POSERS

25)Do you recycle?
ONLY JOKES

26)Do you cook?
NO BUT I BAKE. BWAHAHAHA. (420)

27)Who would you bang: Amy Poehler or Tina Fey?
28)Who would you bang: Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin, please describe why
I DONT DO MOMS

29)please describe your drinking habits?
GENERALLY IT GOES IN MY MOUTH DOWN MY THROAT HOLE

30) when drunk would you rather: a) fight with me/dudes in the bar/my ex-boyfriend or B.) fuck me
CAN I DO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME

31) dogs or cats? or both?
SNAKES

32) what would do to help alleviate my pain on day 1 of my period?
TAKE A 7 DAY VACATION

OH I THOUGHT YOU SAID ALLEVE MY PAIN

[zyko]

dilemma: surveys intimidate me but jacki o arpeggiates me

what to do. what to do.

[Void]

For some reason... I cannot resist this survey.

1)Please describe your butt
My cheeks are circular. Not to be confused with the tear drop shape. NEVER to be confused with the tear drop shape.

2)Do you have a job? If so please describe (briefly)
Yes. I bartend... which is mostly self-explanatory; this means I should moonlight as either a psychologist, or a drug dealer on my days off. Though, I opt for neither!

3)Do you live with your parents? If not, please describe (briefly) your living situation (roommates, apartment/house, living with ex-girlfriend, etc.)
I don't live with my parents. I live with three room mates, whom all share the downstairs living quarters. The whole upper area of the house is mine, which includes a large room/living area, and a smaller room which I call an office. But it's more like a jumble of work in progress/poor organization.

4)Are you homeless/living in your car?
See above.

5)Do you dance? Yes No
Yes, when I go clubbing.

6)Do you enjoy going down on hot chicks? Yes No
Fuck yeah.

7)Did you vote in our last presidential election? Yes No
No. I'm Canadian.

8.)Please briefly describe your political leanings
I think a model after a Scandinavian country would be the most desirable. Particularly Iceland.

9)Please briefly list some of your favorite musical genres
Trance, Electronica, Progressive Metal, Industrial

10)Please briefly list some of your favorite movies
Slingblade, Crash, Babel, Taken, Apocalypse Now, Silence of the Lambs

11)Please briefly list some of your favorite books (if you do not read, you can stop taking this survey now)
American Gods, Ender's Game, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption, Life of Pie, The Wheel of Time: Eye of the World

12)Please fill in the blank: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a ____”
Penis. Sorry... cock.

13)Do you get along with your family?
I have an awesome relationship with my siblings, and talk to my extended family a lot, but I don't have a great relationship with my parents. My parents have always shrugged their responsibilities, so I was adopted by my aunt when I was eleven.

14)Do you like fake breasts?
Yes. But I also like real breasts.

15)Do you play video games?
I binge game on occasion, but don't play all that much.

16)Do you have any female friends?
Yeah. Most of my friends are female.

17)what kind of porn do you like to watch?
I dunno. I don't really watch porn. I guess if I have to say something... uh... regular porn?

18)Are you gay?
No.

19)Are you maybe a little gay?
Well... I can get kind of bromantic when I've been drinking. I haven't had any sexual encounters but I have been known to kiss dudes on the cheek.

20)Have you ever cheated on a girlfriend?
No.

21)Are you friends with any of your ex-girlfriends?
No. Usually I wasn't friends with the girl to begin with (for more than a couple of days anyway), and we just went straight to dating, so I guess it would be kind of awkward.

22)Do you have a beard?
No.

23)What are your feelings about women who let their body hair grow out
Well, it's their choice and all, but I don't find it attractive at all. I keep my body hair properly trimmed, and I find women appreciate that, and likewise, I appreciate it when they have regular North American grooming habits!

24)Do you have a 401K or other retirement investment account?
I do have a savings plan, but I'm very secretive about how much is in it, and who I have it through.

25)Do you recycle?
Yes.

26)Do you cook?
Yes.

27)Who would you bang: Amy Poehler or Tina Fey?
Tina Fey

28)Who would you bang: Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin, please describe why
Hilary Clinton. I'm sure there's the sentiment that Sarah Palin is hotter, but COME ON. Something Awful might make a Photoshop Phriday based around photoshopped pictures of us together, and her backlash at the media would be OMG amounts of embarrassing.

29)please describe your drinking habits?
It's safe to say that I either drink alone, or with people. In truth, I drink probably twice a week. I usually cut myself off before craziness ensues --> I'm a cheap drunk, and usually get the spins if I over drink. Once in awhile I don't see it coming and get loser drunk, though. Then I usually rip my shirt off yelling "SPRING BREAK". That last part wasn't a joke by the way. I seriously do that.

30) when drunk would you rather: a) fight with me/dudes in the bar/my ex-boyfriend or B.) fuck me
Well, B is the obvious choice, but my body might rather C) pass out.

31) dogs or cats? or both?
I prefer dogs, but also like cats. I can't live with either though. I have allergies to animals, and they only seem to be getting worse with time.

32) what would do to help alleviate my pain on day 1 of my period?
I would avoid speaking. Or being alive.

[mshell]

32) what would do to help alleviate my pain on day 1 of my period?
I would avoid speaking. Or being alive.

WRONG.

for all those who don't know, the correct answer is: "provide an orgasm."
it's the only thing that'll make menstrual cramps better immediately.

[Void]

Ah darn. How could I slip up on that one.

[XMark]

A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS!

1)Please describe your butt
Kinda soft and squeezable.

2)Do you have a job? If so please describe (briefly)
Web programmer - online donation forms and shopping carts and stuff like that.

3)Do you live with your parents? If not, please describe (briefly) your living situation (roommates, apartment/house, living with ex-girlfriend, etc.)
Nope - bachelorizin' it up in a one-bedroom apartment

4)Are you homeless/living in your car?
Nope

5)Do you dance? Yes No
Yes. Luckily there's no question on whether I dance well.

6)Do you enjoy going down on hot chicks? Yes No
Not entirely certain what to do down there, but open to guided instruction.

7)Did you vote in our last presidential election? Yes No
Nope, I am but a humble Canadian.

8.)Please briefly describe your political leanings
Centrist, but kinda left-leaning.

9)Please briefly list some of your favorite musical genres
Metal, video game music, movie soundtracks, Celine Dion.

10)Please briefly list some of your favorite movies
District 9, Pulp Fiction, The Notebook, Return of the Jedi, Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

11)Please briefly list some of your favorite books (if you do not read, you can stop taking this survey now)
First 4 books of SK's Dark Tower Series (what's up with the last 3? Dammit), Lord of the Rings Trilogy, World War Z

12)Please fill in the blank: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a ____”
Bicycle. Yeah, I heard that U2 song also.

13)Do you get along with your family?
Hell yeah.

14)Do you like fake breasts?
I don't NOT like them, but prefer the real thing.

15)Do you play video games?
Does the pope shit in the woods?

16)Do you have any female friends?
A couple, one of which is an ex-girlfriend.

17)what kind of porn do you like to watch?
Uh... it's really fucked up, you don't wanna know.

18)Are you gay?
Nope.

19)Are you maybe a little gay?
Maybe kinda.

20)Have you ever cheated on a girlfriend?
Nope.

21)Are you friends with any of your ex-girlfriends?
See #16.

22)Do you have a beard?
Nope, my genes have cursed me with not being able to get more than an ugly semi-goatee.

23)What are your feelings about women who let their body hair grow out
Leg hairs are a little prickly up close, but it's aight

24)Do you have a 401K or other retirement investment account?
Yep.

25)Do you recycle?
If it's an easily available option.

26)Do you cook?
Yes. Luckily there's no question on whether I cook well.

27)Who would you bang: Amy Poehler or Tina Fey?
Amy Poehler wearing Tina Fey's glasses.

28)Who would you bang: Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin, please describe why
Hilary Clinton if I had to stick around later, Sarah Palin if it was a hit it and quit it situation.
EDIT: Alternate answer is Hilary Clinton wearing Sarah Palin's glasses

29)please describe your drinking habits?
Social only, very light.

30) when drunk would you rather: a) fight with me/dudes in the bar/my ex-boyfriend or B.) fuck me
c) laugh at every joke that anyone says like it's the funniest damn thing in the world.

31) dogs or cats? or both?
Cats.

32) what would do to help alleviate my pain on day 1 of my period?
Uh... dunno.

[raubhimself]

Ah what the hell...

1)Please describe your butt
Pretty firm, nicely sized. Might be hairy and crusty further in.

2)Do you have a job? If so please describe (briefly)
Software developer. Web apps for insurance companies and scheduling software.

3)Do you live with your parents? If not, please describe (briefly) your living situation (roommates, apartment/house, living with ex-girlfriend, etc.)
Live with a friend in a lame apartment complex next to a golf course primarily consisting of families and old folk.

4)Are you homeless/living in your car?
I have a lot of trash and other stuff indicating that I could be living in my car, but I am not.

5)Do you dance? Yes No
Yes. Last time I really got down was at a rollerderby after party. Nobody was really dancing until we showed up. We got the party started.

6)Do you enjoy going down on hot chicks? Yes No
I aim to please.

7)Did you vote in our last presidential election? Yes No
Yes.

8.)Please briefly describe your political leanings
Left-leaning centrist, mostly agnostic toward government. Essentially I feel that the government or the people are likely to fuck everything up so I'd rather just go my own way. Government can't change the basics of life and human nature.

9)Please briefly list some of your favorite musical genres
Jazz, country/alt-country, post-rock, alternative, classic rock, metal, punk, hip-hop. I literally can get down with just about everything.

10)Please briefly list some of your favorite movies
OG Star Wars trilogy, Goonies, Blade Runner

11)Please briefly list some of your favorite books (if you do not read, you can stop taking this survey now)
Various Carl Sagan stuff, Asimov's Foundation Trilogy, Drop City, Catcher in the Rye

12)Please fill in the blank: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a ____”
male fish?

13)Do you get along with your family?
Yup. Way more than I used to. I willingly hang out with my dad pretty often.

14)Do you like fake breasts?
Not really.

15)Do you play video games?
On occasion, not much anymore.

16)Do you have any female friends?
Yes. Too many. Too much friend-zoning.

17)what kind of porn do you like to watch?
Pretty normal stuff. I like stuff where the chick isn't just a slab of meat for some frat boy to jizz all over.

18)Are you gay?
I don't think so.

19)Are you maybe a little gay?
I could see that.

20)Have you ever cheated on a girlfriend?
I'm not one that really is in a position to do that. But I wouldn't even if I was.

21)Are you friends with any of your ex-girlfriends?
Yeah.

22)Do you have a beard?
I have X-Mark syndrome. Although I have some sideburns that may be described as bitchin' and/or juvenile.

23)What are your feelings about women who let their body hair grow out
I like it.

24)Do you have a 401K or other retirement investment account?
No. As soon as I was eligible the government (Bush admin) was doing the bailouts and announcing the shitty future of our economy.

25)Do you recycle?
Yes.

26)Do you cook?
I can cook. I don't usually cook for myself.

27)Who would you bang: Amy Poehler or Tina Fey?
Tough call. If Amy dressed as Colby from UCB then it would be her hands down.

28)Who would you bang: Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin, please describe why
Sarah Palin. Hate fuck.

29)please describe your drinking habits?
A sine wave. Sometimes a lot, sometimes none.

30) when drunk would you rather: a) fight with me/dudes in the bar/my ex-boyfriend or B.) fuck me
i guess B. or C not have the balls to talk to you even when drunk.

31) dogs or cats? or both?
both. never owned a dog but i like playing with dogs when their owners are all "stop that!"

32) what would do to help alleviate my pain on day 1 of my period?
whatever you want me to do, honey. just put down the scissors.



<edit> important info to go in the "other comments" section: i am not a drummer. i am a guitar player/multi-instrumentalist.

[Jacki O.]

hmm where is the guy who begged to differ on surveys?

i would like him to beg now

[TheoConfidor]

hmm where is the guy who begged to differ on surveys?

i would like him to beg now

I've still resisted filling out the survey. Most men don't have the willpower apparently...

Of course, if I posted a survey for potential girlfriends it would take me weeks to sift through all the replies.

[Jacki O.]

Do it! it's fun and chances are 90% of your responders will be dudes in relationships

[weener]

Don't get too excited, Jacki. His questions would all be about how much you love Jesus and whether or not you want to conform to Biblical gender roles.

[Jacki O.]

Don't get too excited, Jacki. His questions would all be about how much you love Jesus and whether or not you want to conform to Biblical gender roles.

i would fail that survey so hard

[XMark]

Do it! it's fun and chances are 90% of your responders will be dudes in relationships

Or Canadians

[Jacki O.]

Do it! it's fun and chances are 90% of your responders will be dudes in relationships

Or Canadians

same difference