138 replies to this topic

[bobby]

I feel sick and I puke quietly over the side of my chair

Sheer poetry, my friend.

[mancopter]

HHAHAHAHA.

What a happy story.

That rules.

[bobby]

Puking, crying, shitting pants, buying a pack of cigarettes-leaving them on the
counter and coming back in the store to buy the same pack that the clerk put
back on the shelf.


These are all things that I can live with.


But the day that the cops show up because the neighbor complained about me
beefing off on my roof, that's the day that I will think about slowing down.

[mancopter]

But the day that the cops show up because the neighbor complained about me
beefing off on my roof, that's the day that I will think about slowing down.

Screw that.

That's god's way of hi-fiving you.

[bobby]

Cops showing up is a hi-five?!!!


I'd rather have just a wink, then.

[mancopter]

Cops showing up is a hi-five?!!!


I'd rather have just a wink, then.

God's into tough love.

[Mary]

My sister and I take my 70-year-old (at the time) dad to the Cajun House to see Beau Soleil and some other actual Cajun acts. He invites me to dance. My dad feels that as many beats as the band is playing, that's how fast you should dance. So like if you've ever polkaed during the uptempo part of One Block Away (or whatever it's called) as Mike sometimes suggests, this is about half again that fast.

We are galloping. I get winded. After the song I go to the ladies room, a sort of cavern with no front door. In my stall I have a coughing fit for quite a while. The nice restroom lady calls in to see if I'm okay. I guess the sound was bouncing off the walls and sounded like I was throwing up a fetus in there or something (well, that's how it worked in that Troma movie). I feared the whole club could hear the coughing but I can't remember what my sister said.

[Peter]

Peter, if you are reading this, please tell the Easter story.



Pllleeeeeeaaaaaassssseeeee.

Not much of a story, really.

[mikemfer]

He's trying to make us beg.

[mancopter]

Dammit.

*begs*

[backupforward]

When I was in jail this guy made a breadball and attached it to a string with a note. He fed this pigeon the breadball and when it flew off it dangled the note from its mouth. The note said...
"Eat at Joes"

[ShawnPhase]

peter, tell the easter story.

[Froglight]

i have a story about fireworks

i was about 11 at the time, it was me, my friend mick, my 4 year old sister and my dads crazy-ass friend roland. we went to a fireworks tent and bought this giant mortat thing that shot out 3 baseball sized bombs, it was the same kinda shit they use at the fourth of july. so we go out into a big field and we set up the mortar, roland takes 3 of the bombs and ties the fuses together (this was when i started thinking something was wrong) then he loaded them into the mortar, he lit the fuse and we all ran back about 10 feet. with a big hollow *thump* the mortar launched the bombs into the sky, about 3 feet into the sky. needless to say i grab my sister, put her in front of me, shielding her from the sparks (cuz im such a hero) and we all haul ass down the field, the bombas are exploding near the ground send football sized sparks whizzing right by me.

anyway we got away, mick was in shock, i was freaking out on roland who was just laughing and babbling about how these experiences are what life is all about and my sisters laughing too.

it was cool though

[Hooray For Everything]

with a big hollow *thump* the mortar launched the bombs into the sky, about 3 feet into the sky.

is the sky only 3 feet up?
huh....no kidding?

[bobby]

shut up