154 replies to this topic

[Jacki O.]

it's a learning thread

[John MFer]

I'm 100% NOT eligible but wanted to answer a few questions because I'm a dude who can't resist a survey:

5)Do you dance?
The amount of movement my body does to music is directly proportional to the amount of alcohol consumed that evening.

6)Do you enjoy going down on hot chicks?
As long as there's reciprocation of some sort.

12)Please fill in the blank: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a ____”
If you're talking about lesbians, "a breath of fresh air".

14)Do you like fake breasts?
You're talking Spencer's at the mall gag boobs made of rubber? I wouldn't buy those, no.

15)Do you play video games?
I play word games while I poop.

21)Are you friends with any of your ex-girlfriends?
On facebook.

23)What are your feelings about women who let their body hair grow out
As long as we're not talking mustaches, then that's fine. I draw the line at mustaches.

25)Do you recycle?
When in doubt, throw it in the blue bin and let the folks at the sorting facility figure it out

28)Who would you bang: Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin, please describe why
Neither, I have standards.

31) dogs or cats? or both?
Dogs in real life, cats for hilarious photo captions

[donald]

I'm 100% NOT eligible but wanted to answer a few questions because I'm a dude who can't resist a survey:

5)Do you dance?
The amount of movement my body does to music is directly proportional to the amount of alcohol consumed that evening.

6)Do you enjoy going down on hot chicks?
As long as there's reciprocation of some sort.

12)Please fill in the blank: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a ____”
If you're talking about lesbians, "a breath of fresh air".

14)Do you like fake breasts?
You're talking Spencer's at the mall gag boobs made of rubber? I wouldn't buy those, no.

15)Do you play video games?
I play word games while I poop.

21)Are you friends with any of your ex-girlfriends?
On facebook.

23)What are your feelings about women who let their body hair grow out
As long as we're not talking mustaches, then that's fine. I draw the line at mustaches.

25)Do you recycle?
When in doubt, throw it in the blue bin and let the folks at the sorting facility figure it out

28)Who would you bang: Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin, please describe why
Neither, I have standards.

31) dogs or cats? or both?
Dogs in real life, cats for hilarious photo captions

duuuuuuuude
ya gotta fill the WHOLE thing out or you might as well not bother.

Spoiler

that's what she said

[weener]

If I made a questionnaire for potential gentleman callers, it would look something like this:

1. Drugs?
2. Felonies?
3. Alcohol?
4. Religion?
5. Do you dance in public?
6. Like sex?
7. Want kids?
8. Do you read?
9. How much do you obsess about your ladyfriends' looks/weight/body hair?
10. Do you clean up after yourself?
11. Do you mind your girlfriend spending lots of time with a bunch of close male friends?
12. Are you willing to have conversations with me about various topics?

[Jacki O.]

damn i forgot about jail time and kids!

[President Gator]

1)Please describe your butt
Sexy! Especially in my $250 Nudie jeans

2)Do you have a job? If so please describe (briefly)
Kind of...I run my own promotion company & am the Director of Operations for another.

3)Do you live with your parents? If not, please describe (briefly) your living situation (roommates, apartment/house, living with ex-girlfriend, etc.)
Not since I was 18! Live by myself in a bad ass apt where guys sell corn on the cob from a push cart & ladies knock on your door selling tamales every Sun!

4)Are you homeless/living in your car?
Not currently, but defiantly have in the past.

5)Do you dance? Yes No
Duh! Did you see me break dancing at the Shizz Prom?!

6)Do you enjoy going down on hot chicks? Yes No
Who doesn't?!

7)Did you vote in our last presidential election? Yes No
Yes

8.)Please briefly describe your political leanings
Registered Independent

9)Please briefly list some of your favorite musical genres
Indie / Surf Rock / Swing

10)Please briefly list some of your favorite movies
American Beauty / Ghost World / etc.

11)Please briefly list some of your favorite books (if you do not read, you can stop taking this survey now)
The Adventures of Tom Sawer / Anything by Charles Bukowski or Harvey Pekar

12)Please fill in the blank: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a ____”
Fish Tank?

13)Do you get along with your family?
Not really

14)Do you like fake breasts?
Nope

15)Do you play video games?
Yes, but only NES.

16)Do you have any female friends?
A couple.

17)what kind of porn do you like to watch?
I don't watch porn

18)Are you gay?
No

19)Are you maybe a little gay?
No, but people sure think so. Haha

20)Have you ever cheated on a girlfriend?
Nope, probably because I've been cheated on.

21)Are you friends with any of your ex-girlfriends?
Only one. I make it a point not to be friends w/ ex's.

22)Do you have a beard?
Not currently, but they are easy to grow!

23)What are your feelings about women who let their body hair grow out
I think it's kind of gross.

24)Do you have a 401K or other retirement investment account?
No, but I should defiantly look into starting one soon.

25)Do you recycle?
I would love to, but my apt doesn't do it (On a side note though, I did found the "Environmental Club" in my grade school.) Haha.

26)Do you cook?
I was a cook at Fate, P.F. Changs & Tony Romas. Does that count?

27)Who would you bang: Amy Poehler or Tina Fey?
I didn't really know who either was, but after Googling them Tina Fey for sure!

28)Who would you bang: Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin, please describe why
Neither?! They are both gross old ladies!!!

29)please describe your drinking habits?
Every day

30) when drunk would you rather: a) fight with me/dudes in the bar/my ex-boyfriend or B.) fuck me
When I was 18 a) but now

31) dogs or cats? or both?
Don't have either, but would love to have a dog! Don't really like cats that much.

[weener]

There was a time when "Can you do math?" would be on there, but as it turns out, I've never dated a guy who was even remotely competent at math and they have all been sweeties anyway. Not sure why I thought math skills were a dealbreaker.

[Jacki O.]

1)Please describe your butt
Sexy! Especially in my $250 Nudie jeans

5)Do you dance? Yes No
Duh! Did you see me break dancing at the Shizz Prom?!


17)what kind of porn do you like to watch?
I don't watch porn

good answer. you guys gotta sell it on question no.1

and i did see you dance at shizz prom, you were rad.

i know you watch porn tho!

[Tender Lad]

1. Drugs? Nope
2. Felonies? Nope
3. Alcohol? A little
4. Religion? Nope
5. Do you dance in public? Not really
6. Like sex? Yes
7. Want kids? Nope
8. Do you read? Yes
9. How much do you obsess about your ladyfriends' looks/weight/body hair? I don't
10. Do you clean up after yourself? A little
11. Do you mind your girlfriend spending lots of time with a bunch of close male friends? Nope
12. Are you willing to have conversations with me about various topics? Yes. Unless it's bedtime and I'm super tired.

[weener]

Well, I'd say that's fairly honest...

[Jacki O.]

There was a time when "Can you do math?" would be on there, but as it turns out, I've never dated a guy who was even remotely competent at math and they have all been sweeties anyway. Not sure why I thought math skills were a dealbreaker.

math is power?

[Tender Lad]

I'm a math wiz.

[weener]

I'd be interested to see what dudes would ask their potential ladyfriends.

I'm a math wiz.

You can't even calculate the number of times you fart in a day.

[The Real Jeffrey Lebowski]

28)Who would you bang: Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin, please describe why

Fancy pageant walking!

[Wizwars]

OH MY GOD A SURVEY I LOVE SURVEYS

1)Please describe your butt
Oh god, it's awful!

2)Do you have a job? If so please describe (briefly)
I'm a fuckin' rockstar

3)Do you live with your parents? If not, please describe (briefly) your living situation (roommates, apartment/house, living with ex-girlfriend, etc.)
I live with my girlfriend and her family and my mom (long and complicated story that I'll probably share only when drunk)

4)Are you homeless/living in your car?
Nope!

5)Do you dance? Yes No
Not very well, but sure

6)Do you enjoy going down on hot chicks? Yes No
Indeed I do!

7)Did you vote in our last presidential election? Yes No
No I did not. I am a bad person.

8.)Please briefly describe your political leanings
I'm somewhere in the middle I guess

9)Please briefly list some of your favorite musical genres
Chiptune, VGM, lofi, 90s gangsta rap, black metal

10)Please briefly list some of your favorite movies
American Beauty, City of God, American History X, Boogie Nights

11)Please briefly list some of your favorite books (if you do not read, you can stop taking this survey now)
Twilight Saga

12)Please fill in the blank: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a ____”
"...blood thirsty shark chasing it"

13)Do you get along with your family?
Immediate family, sometimes. Extended family, not really. Some of them are alright.

14)Do you like fake breasts?
Not really my thing, but boobs are boobs.

15)Do you play video games?
Actually less than one might think. I do, but I appreciate games as an artform moreso than I enjoy playing them.

16)Do you have any female friends?
Yes, but for the first time in my life I think I actually have more guy friends than female friends

17)what kind of porn do you like to watch?
The good kind

18)Are you gay?
No

19)Are you maybe a little gay?
Yes

20)Have you ever cheated on a girlfriend?
Nope

21)Are you friends with any of your ex-girlfriends?
No real exes to speak of, I was smart enough to wait to get into a relationship with someone I saw a future with

22)Do you have a beard?
No. I can't grow one for shit

23)What are your feelings about women who let their body hair grow out
Used to have a problem with it but surprisingly it doesn't really bother me at all anymore

24)Do you have a 401K or other retirement investment account?
Hahaha

25)Do you recycle?
Yes

26)Do you cook?
Oh god no. I'm a disaster in the kitchen. Every time I've ever tried to cook / prepare food I've ended up hurting myself.

27)Who would you bang: Amy Poehler or Tina Fey?
Tina Fey

28)Who would you bang: Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin, please describe why
I'd bang the shit out of Sarah Palin. Just because you hate someone doesn't mean you can't fuck them, my parents were a great example of this.

29)please describe your drinking habits?
I don't drink too much but I admittedly tend to overdo it when I do drink. I've calmed down a bit in the past year though (since getting completely trashed at my girlfriends 21st birthday party in October '08)

30) when drunk would you rather: a) fight with me/dudes in the bar/my ex-boyfriend or B.) fuck me
I'm a lover, not a fighter, especially when drunk

31) dogs or cats? or both?
I like pets. I have a preference for cats simply because they don't require the same amount of attention as dogs but am fine with either.

THAT WAS FUN.

Sorry Jackie for all the non single dudes hijacking your shit.