154 replies to this topic

[President Gator]

3)Do you live with your parents? If not, please describe (briefly) your living situation (roommates, apartment/house, living with ex-girlfriend, etc.)
Not since I was 18! Live by myself in a bad ass apt where guys sell corn on the cob from a push cart & ladies knock on your door selling tamales every Sun!

Shit, are we neighbors?

Do you live in Camelback Cove Apartments?!

[The Other 49]

I am always down for a survey. Especially the interesting ones. Although, I am at a disadvantage because I, like apparently everyone here, am a drummer and I couldn't rock Nudie jeans even half as good as Jeremiah.


1)Please describe your butt
not the greatest to look at yet thrusts like a champ

2)Do you have a job? If so please describe (briefly)
warehouse manager

3)Do you live with your parents? If not, please describe (briefly) your living situation (roommates, apartment/house, living with ex-girlfriend, etc.)
rent my own apartment

4)Are you homeless/living in your car?
see above

5)Do you dance? Yes No
yes, much better with alcohol but always willing to make a fool of myself

6)Do you enjoy going down on hot chicks? Yes No
Hell yes

7)Did you vote in our last presidential election? Yes No
yes and I volunteered

8.)Please briefly describe your political leanings
liberal

9)Please briefly list some of your favorite musical genres
indie rock, 90's alternative, old timey country, and assorted goodness

10)Please briefly list some of your favorite movies
Godfather 1 and 2, State and Main, Grosee Pointe Blank, LA Confidential, anything Cohens or Scorcese

11)Please briefly list some of your favorite books (if you do not read, you can stop taking this survey now)
Anything Vonnegut, A Song of Ice and Fire series, Catcher In the Rye (male angst pre-req)

12)Please fill in the blank: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a ____”
a worm, there is always other food to keep the fish nourished, but the worm is classic, and it is usually covering a sharp hook that will stick the fish through the gills

13)Do you get along with your family?
definitely

14)Do you like fake breasts?
fuck no

15)Do you play video games?
yes, right now Zelda:Twilight Princess and NHL2K10

16)Do you have any female friends?
yup

17)what kind of porn do you like to watch?
amateur, something not completely fake

18)Are you gay?
nope

19)Are you maybe a little gay?
well, dad nover talked much and I have two sisters and an awesome mom, so probably

20)Have you ever cheated on a girlfriend?
never

21)Are you friends with any of your ex-girlfriends?
all but one

22)Do you have a beard?
yup

23)What are your feelings about women who let their body hair grow out
not really into it, think smooth is nice, never dated anyone who did though

24)Do you have a 401K or other retirement investment account?
yes

25)Do you recycle?
yes, where I can, apartment doesn't do it either, although I could always take it upon myself
26)Do you cook?
a little, not the greatest but usually pretty edible

27)Who would you bang: Amy Poehler or Tina Fey?
two smart, funny, and attractive women...Tina wins because of dark hair and glasses

28)Who would you bang: Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin, please describe why
Palin, because then I could tell all about it and blow up this ridiculous notion that the Republicans are really the family moral highground, plus bigger tits

29)please describe your drinking habits?
couple times a week for taste, few times a year for getting drunk

30) when drunk would you rather: a) fight with me/dudes in the bar/my ex-boyfriend or B.) fuck me
definitely fucking, fighting is gay

31) dogs or cats? or both?
I like em both but my two cats are more conducive to the busy lifestyle

I demand a full print out of my results.

[JJames]

im alone in the hospital and they wont let me see my bro so i need to fill up time with a survey anyway

1)Please describe your butt
hairy and i poop out of it

2)Do you have a job? If so please describe (briefly)
I work at a peanut butter store BUT i will be a political science teacherin a year or so... that is if the state of arizona will hire any more teachers

3)Do you live with your parents? If not, please describe (briefly) your living situation (roommates, apartment/house, living with ex-girlfriend, etc.)
I recently moved in with my bro but now we are both moving back home cause of the injury and financial reasons. BUT i was going to be moving out next month with the singer of my band

4)Are you homeless/living in your car?
hobo secks

5)Do you dance?
can you define "dance" i shake and seazure in-time

6)Do you enjoy going down on hot chicks? Yes
favorite passtime

7)Did you vote in our last presidential election? Yes No
Fuck yeah i did

8.)Please briefly describe your political leanings
I would describe my political beliefs as being hopefull but unsure. I consider myself socially very liberal but i have a strong distrust of alot of the mechanisms in politics. thats what get for studies in poly sci

9)Please briefly list some of your favorite musical genres
favorite? shit. post punk/rock, noise, prog-ish, soul/funk/afrobeat/anything with a phat groove, classical and jazz, name something and i like something about it

10)Please briefly list some of your favorite movies
anything stanely kubrick, those 40yearoldpineapplesarahmarshal type movies, westerns, zombies

11)Please briefly list some of your favorite books (if you do not read, you can stop taking this survey now)
catch 22, history books, lord of the rings, of mice and men, cat's cradle, and i like bill bryson too

12)Please fill in the blank: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a ____”
penis and balls

13)Do you get along with your family?
love them very much even though we seem kinda cold with each other sometimes

14)Do you like fake breasts?
i like boobs of any kind

15)Do you play video games?
who the fuck doesnt

16)Do you have any female friends?
yeah, mostly ex girlfriends but yeah i got alot

17)what kind of porn do you like to watch?
back door sluts 9

18)Are you gay?
no...

19)Are you maybe a little gay?
YES

20)Have you ever cheated on a girlfriend?
kinda, its a long story but she cheated on me and i lived 120 miles away

21)Are you friends with any of your ex-girlfriends?
see number 16

22)Do you have a beard?
a durty one

23)What are your feelings about women who let their body hair grow out
hmm well i like it nice and neat and smelling good at least. if i can do it, women can too

24)Do you have a 401K or other retirement investment account?
fuck no im 21 i have beer

25)Do you recycle?
only after i reduce and reuse

26)Do you cook?
ive been a vegitarian since i was a youngin in a family of meat eaters so i learned how to cook real fast.

ps does this mean meth? i dont do that no

27)Who would you bang: Amy Poehler or Tina Fey?
Always loved tina fey, i like brown hair

28)Who would you bang: Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin, please describe why
sarah would be a good hate bang but if im already going for tina fey i can have her dress like sarah and i can have some hate secks

29)please describe your drinking habits?
im 21 now. i drink on the weekends

30) when drunk would you rather: a) fight with me/dudes in the bar/my ex-boyfriend or B.) fuck me
is that even a question?

31) dogs or cats? or both?
dont have any anymore but i like dogs, they shower me with love and cats are mean

[azwestdevil72]

1)Please describe your butt
People fear it because they don’t understand it.

2)Do you have a job? If so please describe (briefly)
Tech support for the state guv’ment

3)Do you live with your parents? If not, please describe (briefly) your living situation (roommates, apartment/house, living with ex-girlfriend, etc.)
No, I have an apartment.

4)Are you homeless/living in your car?
I live in a van, down by the river

5)Do you dance?
Yes, if you feed me enough Long Islands.

6)Do you enjoy going down on hot chicks?
Yes, and not-so-hot ones, too.

7)Did you vote in our last presidential election?
Always do vote, and it was for President Obama if you are wondering.

8.)Please briefly describe your political leanings
Left-leaning independent, but not in a Lieberman way. I don’t vote for anyone with an R behind their name. Fairness, helping those who need help, and common sense are what I value most.

9)Please briefly list some of your favorite musical genres
classic\80’s\90’s rock, punk, alternative, indie, industrial, grunge, metal, some R&B\rap.

10)Please briefly list some of your favorite movies
Eastern Promises, There Will Be Blood, Goodfellas, Godfather Trilogy, Pulp Fiction, Taxi Driver, Fight Club, Boogie Nights, The Big Lebowski, Shawshank Redemption, Tommy Boy, Evil Dead Trilogy, Trainspotting, Star Wars OG Trilogy

11)Please briefly list some of your favorite books (if you do not read, you can stop taking this survey now)
Aside from non-fiction historical books, I like stuff by Dostoevsky, Hemingway, Dumas, Poe, Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Clive Barker, &
other miscellaneous horror.

12)Please fill in the blank: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a ____”
Ummm, bicycle?

13)Do you get along with your family?
Yeah.

14)Do you like fake breasts?
I take what I can get, but I like real ones better.

15)Do you play video games?
Meh, not so much. Once in a blue moon. My Xbox 360 is the most expensive DVD player I’ve ever bought.

16)Do you have any female friends?
Yeah.

17)what kind of porn do you like to watch?
porn with women in it.

18)Are you gay?
No.

19)Are you maybe a little gay?
I said no.

20)Have you ever cheated on a girlfriend?
Never.

21)Are you friends with any of your ex-girlfriends?
Yes, but I have no contact with them anymore (some moved, others just lost contact).

22)Do you have a beard?
No.

23)What are your feelings about women who let their body hair grow out?
I don’t care if shaved or not, and understand that razor burn sucks. I do prefer trimmed with clippers or something, though. It’s a personal hygiene thing.

24)Do you have a 401K or other retirement investment account?
Yeah

25)Do you recycle?
Yeah

26)Do you cook?
Yeah

27)Who would you bang: Amy Poehler or Tina Fey?
Whomever said yes first

28)Who would you bang: Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin, please describe why
Neither, unless you transplanted Hillary’s brain into Palin’s body.

29)please describe your drinking habits?
Social drinker, and rarely get blitzed, except on special occasions and when I know I have a ride home.

30) when drunk would you rather: a) fight with me/dudes in the bar/my ex-boyfriend or B.) fuck me
Heh. I’m a lover, not a fighter….

31) dogs or cats? or both?
Cats, and mellow dogs

[Rocquero]

3)Do you live with your parents? If not, please describe (briefly) your living situation (roommates, apartment/house, living with ex-girlfriend, etc.)
Not since I was 18! Live by myself in a bad ass apt where guys sell corn on the cob from a push cart & ladies knock on your door selling tamales every Sun!

Shit, are we neighbors?

[Tony]

a survey for a position i'm not eligible for? you betcha!

1)Please describe your butt
a girl friend (not a girlfriend) of mine once told me i had the ass of a 12 year old girl. it's not my strong suit.
2)Do you have a job? If so please describe (briefly)
yes. you wouldn't care about it, though, so i won't bother describing it.
3)Do you live with your parents? If not, please describe (briefly) your living situation (roommates, apartment/house, living with ex-girlfriend, etc.)
i live with my wife and son.
4)Are you homeless/living in your car?
no. BUT, i have this weird fantasy/daydream where if i was the last person on earth i could totally live out of the astro van and cruise around looking for food and shelter. it's got all wheel drive.
5)Do you dance? Yes No
hell yes.
6)Do you enjoy going down on hot chicks? Yes No
it's a two way street.
7)Did you vote in our last presidential election? Yes No
yes.
8.)Please briefly describe your political leanings
socially liberal, fiscally conservative. i think you can have it both ways. for example, gay marriage should be legal. also, the recent changes to the FHA loan maximums are FUCKED. oh, and i'm gravely concerned that the healthcare bill will backfire and add more bureaucracy and cost to a system that's pretty bad to begin with.
9)Please briefly list some of your favorite musical genres
if it's on the radio, odds are i don't like it.
10)Please briefly list some of your favorite movies
star wars, pulp fiction, goodfellas, the godfather, anything james cameron, and anything with zombies.
11)Please briefly list some of your favorite books (if you do not read, you can stop taking this survey now)
i like malcolm gladwell and chuck palhaniuk. also, i have a shitload of cookbooks.
12)Please fill in the blank: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a ____”
bicycle
13)Do you get along with your family?
yes.
14)Do you like fake breasts?
i don't DIS-like them...
15)Do you play video games?
yes. but one time i played goldeneye for like 8 hours straight and it must have triggered something in my brain because now i get motion sickness if i play first person shooters.
16)Do you have any female friends?
yes. but they all want to sleep with me.
17)what kind of porn do you like to watch?
as long as people aren't shitting on each other, i'm pretty open.
18)Are you gay?
i don't think so.
19)Are you maybe a little gay?
i suppose it's possible. but i can't picture a scenario where i want a dick in my mouth or anything.
20)Have you ever cheated on a girlfriend?
yes, but i married the girl i cheated with, so that negates it.
21)Are you friends with any of your ex-girlfriends?
some yes. some definitely, absolutely not.
22)Do you have a beard?
no. even when i don't shave it for a month i wouldn't describe it as a "beard".
23)What are your feelings about women who let their body hair grow out
it's grody.
24)Do you have a 401K or other retirement investment account?
yeah, we're good here.
25)Do you recycle?
yes. well, i take it to the curb and let somebody else do the actual recycling.
26)Do you cook?
anyone can cook.
27)Who would you bang: Amy Poehler or Tina Fey?
i'm assuming i can't fulfill a nerd fantasy and have them both, right? how about tina fey dressed as princess leia?
28)Who would you bang: Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin, please describe why
hmmm. tough call here. sarah palin is definitely more physically attractive, and you know she's into some kinky shit. she's got that look in her eye like she's down for whatever. BUT, she's had like 5 or 6 kids, right? her vagina is probably blown out completely. it would be like sticking my dick in a glass of warm water. hilary, on the other hand, probably hasn't slept with bill for a good long time. and you can't discount the fact that he cheated on her and as a result maybe she's got some self esteem issues and she'd be more experimental in bed to try and make me like her more. i'd give the edge to hilary. oh, also, i don't hate her, which might make it easier to maintain an erection.
29)please describe your drinking habits?
martini before dinner, wine with dinner, scotch after dinner. oh, and beer.
30) when drunk would you rather: a) fight with me/dudes in the bar/my ex-boyfriend or B.) fuck me
those are the only two options i have when i'm drunk? seems limited.
31) dogs or cats? or both?
2 dogs. fuck cats.

[yami_wretch]

So like dudes that only play drums? or like dudes that even know how?

I mean I agree that drumers are dicks and crappy but I try and break down stereo types.

HAHAAHAHAHA let em ride Mikey, they will always be there buddy

[Jacki O.]

all of your answers are awesome. i wish i could combine you all into the perfect shizz man and then take you for granted.

[Jacki O.]

new questions added:

32) Wanna be in my dickmag!

Booyah!

haha. that's a bonus round question. There's a second survey full of dirty sex questions that you have to fill out if your ranking from the first survey pushes you into the top qualifying tier. That's the nasty porn survey.

this graph will explain it better:

[sonofpatter]

1)Please describe your butt -Looks good in jeans, but whose doesn’t? Unfortunately I can’t wear jeans to work. Nice curve, it hasn’t started to sag like other parts.

2)Do you have a job? If so please describe (briefly) – Yes, Instructional Designer for big company-meaning I make elearnings and textbooks.

3)Do you live with your parents? If not, please describe (briefly) your living situation (roommates, apartment/house, living with ex-girlfriend, etc.) I do not live with parents, sometimes I have a roommate, sometimes not, it helps with the mortgage. Currently no roomate.

4)Are you homeless/living in your car? No

5)Do you dance? Yes, my mother is Puerto Rican.

6)Do you enjoy going down on hot chicks? Yes

7)Did you vote in our last presidential election? Yes

8.)Please briefly describe your political leanings: A laize-faire idealist who keeps voting Democrat because the Republicans keep putting up doche-bags.

9)Please briefly list some of your favorite musical genres-1960’s to 1970’s Soul- God blesss Alen Toussaint and Tom Waits.

10)Please briefly list some of your favorite movies-Big Lebowski- The Harder they Come

11)Please briefly list some of your favorite books (if you do not read, you can stop taking this survey now) – Anything by Christopher Moore or Tim Cahill


12)Please fill in the blank: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a ____” Bicycle? are we supposed to put the orginal quote or make up our own? How about “No (wo)man is an ______”

13)Do you get along with your family? Yes

14)Do you like fake breasts? Yes, but real ones are great as well.

15)Do you play video games? No

16)Do you have any female friends? Yes

17)what kind of porn do you like to watch? Suzie Randall

18)Are you gay? No

19)Are you maybe a little gay? No

20)Have you ever cheated on a girlfriend? Way, way, way, way back in High School, not since then.

21)Are you friends with any of your ex-girlfriends? Not really, but I enjoy running in to them from time to time.

22)Do you have a beard? Does goatee count? Sometimes, my grandmother got alzheimers before she passed. Whenever I wore facial hair she thought I was Stalin, and would give me a hard time about “killing all those people.”

23)What are your feelings about women who let their body hair grow out. Not a fan, but willing to overlook or try to negoitate a trade, such as as long as I work on beer gut she works on body hair.

24)Do you have a 401K or other retirement investment account? Yes

25)Do you recycle? Try to, no recycle in South Phoenix, so I got to cart the stuff to downtown, so carboard, clean plastic yes, cans and bottles yes, but messy stuff no.

26)Do you cook? Chicken and Humus but that is about it.

27)Who would you bang: Amy Poehler or Tina Fey? Either, but Tina Fey first.

28)Who would you bang: Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin, please describe why. Sarah Palin, because I could pretend I was banging Tina Fey.

29)please describe your drinking habits? Tough one, sometimes drink hard on weekends.

30) when drunk would you rather: a) fight with me/dudes in the bar/my ex-boyfriend or B.) fuck me fuck you.

31) dogs or cats? or both? Neither, but will tolerate dogs, semi- allergicic to cats.

[Jacki O.]

30) when drunk would you rather: a) fight with me/dudes in the bar/my ex-boyfriend or B.) fuck me fuck you.

fuck me fuck you

[chalupacabra]

8.)Please briefly describe your political leanings
Liberal, registered “Democratic Socialist” a la Bernie Sanders – If it helps paint a picture of how much of a politics nerd I am, here’s a short list of some of my favorite Senators: Russ Feingold, Sherrod Brown, Al Franken, Amy Klobuchar, Bernie Sanders, Chuck Schumer, Debbie Stabenow, Jim Webb, Sheldon Whitehouse, Ron Wyden...

With that answer I think I want to date you

[Jacki O.]

8.)Please briefly describe your political leanings
Liberal, registered “Democratic Socialist” a la Bernie Sanders – If it helps paint a picture of how much of a politics nerd I am, here’s a short list of some of my favorite Senators: Russ Feingold, Sherrod Brown, Al Franken, Amy Klobuchar, Bernie Sanders, Chuck Schumer, Debbie Stabenow, Jim Webb, Sheldon Whitehouse, Ron Wyden...

With that answer I think I want to date you

shizz love connection!

you are welcome

[joe.distort]

what i have learned:

mikey scored .05 a point higher on my SUPER ABRIDGED AND SEMI JOKE GF EXAM, showing me that a)im a retard and B ) i need better standards if that happened

almost all of the shizz is bearded and likes going down on girls. the former, not a shock, and the latter really shows that we are awesome dudes. plus, its fun so i dont really see why fake macho "tuff" guys arent into it.

also, with these answers, im a little bit into some of you guys now too.